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Leslie Whittaker

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Keeping Your Man on a Faithfully Tight Leash
by Leslie Whittaker   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Last edited: Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Posted: Tuesday, July 08, 2008

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We all know men have a proclivity towards cheating, but how much of it is your fault when your man strays?

We all know men have a proclivity towards cheating, but how much of it is your fault when your man strays?

Yes, men are biologically programmed to "spread their seed" and, yes, men have waves of testosterone rushing through them 5-7 times a day leaving them with lewd and lascivious thoughts but that doesn't mean that they absolutely have to act upon these biological inclinations when in a monogamous relationship. Granted there are men out there who cheat simply because the opportunity presents itself; but, in most cases, a man cheats because there is a fundamental need of his that is not being fulfilled. Being a wife, girlfriend or even lover, part of this need fulfillment is your responsibility. Luckily, there are some precautions that can be taken to keep your man faithfully reeled in.

First of all, never withhold sex because six months ago your man said he hated your mother. Nothing sparks bitter resentment more than being punished with celibacy in a relationship, especially when it is due to an unfortunate incident or slippage of speech days, weeks or even months past. If a man truly wanted to have to work for sex, he'd go back to the singles meat market. According to a study by the Kinsey Institute, thirty-seven percent of men think about sex every thirty minutes. Which means, if you aren't helping him get his rocks off he'll be looking elsewhere whether it be a physical affair with a coworker, through pornography, or through cybersex and internet flirtations. This is not to advocate giving in to your man's every sexual whim and desire, as that in itself may prove to be impossible, but just realize that the more you withdraw, especially for unwarranted reasons, the more he'll go on the prowl for it elsewhere.

Another surefire way to get your man to seriously start considering other women: replace your lingerie collection with sweats and ponytails. As hunters, men evolved into highly visual creatures and are stimulated through sight. Think back to why he was attracted to you in the first place, because you made an effort in your appearance. Ancestral men evolved mechanisms to sense the underlying reproductive value of a woman through observable features in women, predominantly youth and beauty. By maintaining your physical appearance through full lips, clear, smooth skin, lustrous hair, and good muscle tone, you are conveying to your man that you are still reproductively capable and while he may not consciously know why he prefers this, you will continue to capture his attention. Thus, continue giving him something sexy to look at and perhaps he'll turn off his Xbox to spend some time with you.

Learn to whet your man's visual appetite through variety in provocative lingerie and role-playing. Roosters are very randy male birds that can copulate with hens almost incessantly, more than sixty times per mating; however, he can not mate with the same hen more than five times in one day as he completely loses interest; however, he can mount a new hen with the same enthusiasm he had for the first hen. Bull's lose interest after copulating seven times with the same cow but can be aroused again with the introduction of a new one. A ram will not mount the same ewe more than five times but can, however, mount new ewes with amazing zeal. Even disguises or different odors can not trick these males. Men need variety. Luckily, unlike most male mammals, human males can fool themselves into believing they have a harem of different women by dressing their partners in an array of sexy lingerie and through role-playing. If this isn't enough to convince you to adore sultry attire, consider this, one American study has discovered that women who wear a variety of erotic lingerie generally have more faithful men than women who prefer to wear white cotton underwear. Show your man you know how to be a lady in the street and a sex kitten in the bedroom. Who knows, you may even learn you love it!

A man's brain is hardwired to look at the female shape as a man's main form of stimulation is through sight. Your man ogling another woman does not imply that he doesn't love you or that he immediately wants to race off to bed with that woman. It is simply a reminder to him that he is masculine and that his evolutionary role is to look for opportunities to increase his tribe. It is very difficult for a man to overlook his inherent attraction to leg lengths, curves, and shapes. While this is not advocating blatantly rude staring and drooling followed by derogatory comments, it is however advocating allowing your man to merely glance at another woman without having to hear you berate him for hours on end.

Similarly, the things that turn men on are often described as dirty, disgusting, crude or perverted, especially by women. Embrace your own sexuality and confidence by allowing your man to flip through a Playboy or openly watch videos from his porn stash. It is the public criticism that drives men to hide all these from you and thereby prevent his needs from being fulfilled. Accept how pornography appeals to his biological urges by displaying clear images of shapes, lust, and sex. He is not envisioning these women's personality traits or building a life with them; he is merely mesmerized by their curvaceous shape and raw sex appeal. Denying his sexual fantasies only builds more guilt and resentment towards you. Be secure in your own sexual power over him.

As a way of building relationships, women have evolved into speaking in indirect communication whereas men, needing to be able to communicate the most information in the fewest words, developed very direct communication skills. As a result, neither sex seems to speak the same language. To build a lasting relationship with your man, focus on using direct speech. Refrain from saying "nothing" when there is obviously something wrong. About eight times out of ten, your man has no idea something wrong has even occurred so believe him when he says he doesn't know what you are referring to. Because men needed to convey the most information in a short time span, their sentences are short, direct, solution oriented and to the point, which means – men take what you say literally and they will speak literally. Stop taking poetic license with what he says. Refrain from using 'can' and 'could' questions, instead use 'will' and 'would' questions to motivate him into action. Be exact in what you want and expect. Learning how to communicate with your man will lessen any underlying feelings of bitterness from the inability to communicate properly. It also means he won't be talking to his sexy co-worker anymore about how you never say what you mean and how you always nag him.

Lastly, understand that men demonstrate their feelings for you by 'doing things.' Do not expect him to show his affection like a woman. Instead look for signs of his affection when he washes your car, fixes your toilet, remembers to change your oil, or help you find your lost dog. Generally, men do not grow up having good role-models in the romance department and their brains aren't wired to understand the importance of romantic gestures as a woman's is. Accept his 'doing things' as a way of him displaying his affections and don't be afraid to tell him how much romantic gestures mean while giving clear-cut examples.

Most importantly, to keep your man's promiscuous leash tightly under control: embrace your inner sex kitten. Be confident, secure, and open-minded. Don't be afraid to surprise him with a dinner where the dessert consists of you in a scantily clad outfit. Remember, relationships become rocky when a partner fails to acknowledge the biological differences between men and women.

This being said, what are some other methods a woman could use to keep her man faithful?

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