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Scott has insight into his present situaltion and is shown that he is being led even when he didn't think so.
God is leading us even when you don’t think so
I woke up early this morning…around 4 AM. I usually awake about 5ish, but I could not go back to sleep. Usually when I can’t go back to sleep it is because my mind is very occupied or Spirit has something to say to me.
I got my morning cup of coffee and decided to start with meditation and prayer. I used the bathroom and as I did I picked up a magazine (all men do this it seems) and it was Ode Magazine…one of my favorites.
The cover of the magazine showed a graphic picture of a man who had fallen backwards down some stairs and ended up at the bottom. As I turned to the editor’s page the article he wrote was “I hope you fail often”. This got my attention.
As I read it, I then looked for the feature article centered on failure. From my past writings you will know that this has been a fear of mine…one of the deepest fears I have in life. I am not proud of it…it just has been my experience.
As I read the feature article while reading I began to cry. When I cry out of the blue it seems that something or someone is trying to get my attention. I take mental note now every time I begin to cry out of the blue. I realized there was another message for me not only in the article but to be revealed in my meditation time.
I went up stairs to our meditation and prayer room and sat down with my cup of coffee, put on some soft, quiet, instrumental music and closed my eyes. I recounted in my mind my initial tears over the article about failure.
I had just started a new sales position and was struggling with my sales on this particular promotion. It seemed to be push, pull and drag and I had a lot of people complaining over the present economy. There is an air of doom and gloom in the present economical condition of our country and it was showing with my clients. Those who were normally enthusiastic about the program seemed more pensive and careful not to spend any money that was not necessary.
This has affected my present sales and I felt I was having to give away the product I was selling in order to get the clients to give my product a try. I started to cry in frustration as I sat in my meditation chair. I cried out to God… “God I am not making the money I wanted to this week…I seem to be practically giving away everything to get business”.
Just then I heard a voice speaking to me… “Isn’t it more blessed to give than receive?” I began to laugh as I was crying. I knew it was Joseph, my spiritual guide who had heard my cry. He was not being facetious, but serious about it, in a comical way.
Then he began to tell me some things…he said… “Scott, you and most humans have a pre-conceived idea of how things should be and turn out. You have great hopes for this new venture but it seems things are different than you originally envisioned. He said this was a mistake that most humans make in every area of their lives…and that it was very human.
He said… “You take on a new sales position, you are given the subjective potential by your sales trainers, and you immediately begin to calculate in your mind what you are going to make based upon hypothetical history. As a human we take in this data and began to envision something that is not necessarily realistic. He said that we build a whole story around what can be done and this causes us to feel like failures when our vision does not happen as we originally envision something to happen…it sets us up for failure in our minds”.
He reiterated that it was only human. He told me to… “Look back on your life; the years you have been in commission sales and did not you have ample provision? Did I not only survive but thrive through it all…even without a college education? I had to agree with Joseph that it was true . He said… “Well, then what are you worried about?”
He then reiterated to me that my initial purpose in coming to earth was to “Enjoy the wild ride”. I had to agree again with him, but I told Joseph that it was still uncomfortable not knowing where your sustenance and next meal are coming from. I felt He and Gwendolyn’s love rushing towards me.
He said that my reaction to this week again was only my conditioning and belief in failure. He said to me… “There is no failure in the sight of God. It is all just an experience. He said that when a child begins to walk and the parents watch this child learn to walk there is a lot of falling down and skinning of the knees and elbows that happen as this child learns to walk…so it is in life…especially when we embark on something that is new and never before done”.
He said… “Do the parents of this child laugh at it when this child falls? Of course not, and neither do we as your beloved spiritual friends laugh at you when you seem to fall, and that it is all part of the process”.
He went on to say, that all I needed to do was to “Let go and let God”. He reminded me of the vision in meditation I had about the stream, and going upstream instead of going with the flow. He said… “The minute you start feeling a feeling of frustration or having to work too hard to get somewhere that it was a sign to me of resistance to something instead of accepting the process”.
He told me that… “There was a higher agenda that God had for me…and that in the end it would be revealed to me. That I was not to fear the present, and that I was in the perfect spot and place for this and that all would fall into place for me if I would just… let go and let God”.
He told me that this… “Higher agenda of God for my life was really what I desired before I came to this earth and was something my soul desired. It was not something outside of me where it was a will of God thing, but something I wanted in this life to experience”.
I cried out to Joseph, “Well what about the law of attraction and that we can be, have, and do anything we desire”. He said… “You can…but that can be a problem. He said that God made us free agents and would not interfere with our desires and that if we really wanted something bad enough we could have it…but…with a caution of…be careful what you wish for as it may happen”. He said God’s higher agenda for us was actually what our soul desires to be and experience more than that of our own agenda that can be ego-driven.
He said to me… “That is why Gwendolyn and he were there for me because we know what you want and we are here to help you get there. He went on to say that I would be a happy man indeed once it all became clear to me. He went on to say to me that God is leading you even when you don’t think so”.
This was the end of my meditation and Joseph said to me… “Go in Peace my beloved”.