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uppalapati Lakshmi Prasanthi

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LABOUR PAINS AND MEN
By uppalapati Lakshmi Prasanthi   

Last edited: Tuesday, March 26, 2002
Posted: Tuesday, March 26, 2002

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Quite Surprised. Aren't you? I will explain.



Quite Surprised. Aren't you? I will explain.

Some of our friends(All are girls) were gathered in a friend's house who is pregnant at that time. After chatting about everyone of us, our interest was driven to Pregnancy. We enquired about how she is feeling now. She said she is Ok. Then one by one we began to express our views.

My friend who is pregnant wished that God should make a plan such that
both the couple must bear the suffering so that there will be justice to both of them. Her view is : The couple must be interchanged with their sex in the consecutive births. What she means is If one is female in this birth, her husband should be wife in the next birth and viceversa.

Another one's view: Why only woman should be pregnant? Why can't it be Men? How good it will be if God transfers this responsibility to Men?

Another girl, (She is somewhat moderate in her feeling) Carrying is Ok. But Labour Pain should be experienced by Men. Then only they can understand the real suffering.

Another girl, (she is so kind) everything is ok. We Carry, We bear the Labour pains, but I wish I will be given the choice of the time of conceiving. My ideas must be given the necessary consideration.

I didn't express any opinion there but laughed a lot at each and every suggestion. I just get an image of the girls who are deeply discussing of designing a master plan of coup against Men. Whole day I was thinking and laughed and laughed about the views expressed.

I am a girl who fears a Doctor and easily get afraid at the thought of Injection
and hospital environment. I always fear when anyone develop big stomach while they carry(pregnant). I wonder how world's population especially India's population growing at a considerable rate when deliverying is such a painful one. I used to get startled when I see anyone who carry once every two years and giving birth to 3 or more children.

But when I question myself that how many of these women were really conceiving according to their wishes? And also in the cases of Abortions,when they came to know that the baby will be a girl. And another one is the Cases of Infertility and also some health disorders. In my Mother's case only, I was the third among the children but the first one to survive. I am a Caesarian Baby. Two of my own aunts were suffered terribly. My Younger Aunt's first pregnancy lead to abortion. The Lady Doctor who cleaned my aunt's womb after abortion did a mistake and a Block was formed in the Fallopean tubes of my aunt. She has undergone two major operations. She is now having two children. Both are Caesarian kids. But she can give birth only after 9 years of her marriage. In the mean time, she suffered physically and mentally a lot. Another aunt also suffered a lot as her
Vagina is very big that the embryo emerges out always and she has 3 abortions.

What I want to emphasize is though the husbands were caring and understanding people, my mother and aunts were suffered physically a lot I mean while checkups and medication. I feel many women. What I mean to say is Women are being forced (it may be personal one being women or by their husbands and society) to give birth at any cost. Otherwise they have a fear that their husbands might marry another woman.(It is not the issue with my father or with my Uncles. They will never do that).

When I was small, I mean at the age of 10 or so, I used to think that , we should bear that suffering and we shouldn't feel it as a suffering, because women only can deliver and how wonderful it is that someone is shaping in our womb. But later as I grew and when I personally observed my aunt rounding the hospitals every now and then, I used to think that I shouldn't suffer like that at any cost. I made a firm decision that I should make my proposed husband sign an agreement that he will not make me round the hospitals if I found to be infertile or cannot deliver in a normal manner. And also he should promise that he will not marry another woman and leave me
under these grounds.If he agrees only I will marry otherwise I will not.

My Opinion is : Women must be given the freedom to conceive, and also the freedom to be pregnant according to their wish and will, and also Men should value her opinion whether to keep a pregnancy or abort.
Because: Women are those who has to suffer physically and so they should be prepared mentally. Men cannot experience the Labour Pains.

P.S.: If God grants a boon that Men should feel the pain of their child's birth, it will help women a lot. There will be no need of DNA tests and men cannot escape from law and they cannot do anything illegal. It will be a good blow on their male ego that no one can trace their misdoings.


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Reviewed by Srinivas Surya (Reader) 8/5/2003
Dear Prashanthi,

First about your aunt's embryo slipping out problem. i guess they will be advised to take some precautions, further, when the vagina is large, I also heard that they will make some sutures to prevent the embryo from slipping out.

Secondly, Motherhood is not a pain, it is a joy. Do you know that man misses one of the most precious joys of life, just because he cannot give birth to a child. In fact, he most men may not even comprehend the fact that they are missing out on such a joy.

It is the pain, suffering and hardship that a mother endures that endears her to the child even more. the joy of giving life. I am sure no woman would want to be deprived of this joy. Therefore I do not agree with you about forced pregnancies. I willa gree if you are referencing to the point where they want only male children and keep harassing / force for repeat pregnancies.

Even a prostitute would yearn to give birth to a child and lead a happy family with her children. No mother looks at it as a pain. This you will realise when you give birth to your own child.

Looking at women delivering children definitely makes us feel that its a very painful experience, but, we should not be mistaken. That pain is not treated as a curse by any woman, not because she is made to beleive, but because she alone experiences the joy. Did yous ee any woman immediately after she gave birth to a child, with the child in her hands?? That moment of joy is worth a lifetime.

Even animals endure so much pain and suffering during childbirth. A bitch, before and while giving birth to its puppies takes a lot of care and pride. It will not let anyone come near it's puppies after they are born, it will attack even its owner, because it is love. No one told it to behave in that way, but it feels the love because it had experienced the pain and joy .

As far as liberty is concerned, I agree that the woman should be given liberty, but any man would want a woman to conceive.

Finally, I can say...the higher the pain and suffering endured in achieving something, the greater the joy. There is no joy or value without this process. Imagine what would have been the value of a woman / life if she could just get pregnant and take babies out of her body without the slightest pain or suffering ?

Regarding what your friends say, its an inexperienced and feminist aspect. Do they get anything if the woman delivers and man suffers? Why the intention at all that a man should suffer ?

A woman is great. She is Shakthi, and the pain and suffering a woman can endure, it will be difficult for a man to go through. She should be proud for it. God gave a boon to woman by making her capable of conception.

Regards,

Srini
Reviewed by xainab dadabhoy (Reader) 7/19/2002
Its not just the labour pains that a mother must endure but also the endless sleepless nights and nerve wrecking process of raising a child that adds value to the society. No wonder, God has placed Paradise under a mother's feet. The nature of this process is inevitable but if the partner is supportive, things tend to ease down to a considerable extent.
Reviewed by Uday 7/16/2002
Because men can’t conceive, they are called men. I guess that should make men feel inferior compared to women. But childbirth is painful. For that reason women would rather be men than go through childbirth? This is the reason men feel happy of being men instead of being jealous for incapacity. If women express dissatisfaction of being women, that contributes to men feeling superior.

The pain of childbirth can only be considered as the price paid for being a mother. And just like everything else in this world, the higher the price the more valuable is the item being obtained. If childbirth were a simple matter of carrying a baby with no pain involved, motherhood would not be satisfying. The responsibility of men in this is to understand the suffering involved in pregnancy, and sincerely care for woman's comfort.
Reviewed by K.Ravindra Babu 5/21/2002
Well, I used to think about the labour pain undergone by females... when I came to know about this in my college days in my subject I really felt pain in my heart. I completely respect females. According to my view females undergo all sorts of pain in life, so being a male I have decided who ever comes in my life I'll give her all the happiness and more importantly I'll be honest to her because females like their husbands to be honest to them which gives wives immense happiness in their life.
Reviewed by Basit Ghafoor 5/11/2002
Any ways If God has put the pain of labour to woman, He hass perpetually put the love of mother more than that of Father.

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