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Aubrey Hammack

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Grief and Christmas
by Aubrey Hammack   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, December 12, 2009
Posted: Friday, December 11, 2009

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Christmas and Grief


                                Grief and the Holidays




Christmas is meant to be a happy time as we celebrate the birthday of Jesus.  We spend time with relatives, friends and share swapping gifts. 




There are those that will be sad, however. Some of these have lost loved ones or friends just prior to this  holiday.



When this happens, it really puts a damper on December 25th. Words can not express the dark, blue days that are experienced and many feel there just isn’t any hope.


We are told that  grief comes in only one size…EXTRA LARGE…


I think if you know someone that is experiencing this , the best thing we can do is to let them know we will be there for support if they want it. We have to love them thru it.   By that I mean, visiting with them, giving a hug,  baking a pie or cake, taking them a gift of some kind, telling them you are praying for them, asking them if you can say a prayer for them while there, sending them a card or a note and saying I was just thinking of you, and making phone calls. We need to volunteer to do errands for them or take them to do them.


Grief is not something you get over very quickly.  Someone else said when asked how long grief lasts stated it takes as long as it takes.  There is no time table for it.


Another important thing we can do for them is to remind them that they can obtain help themselves through prayer. And of course remind them if that loved one was a Christian that they too do have hope of seeing them again. 


I think I would be most miserable if I didn’t believe that one day I would see all my relatives and friends that I have loss.  I really thank God that as a small boy growing up on a mill village that I was taught by mom and dad that there was a God that so loved, cared for and watched over me every single day and that if I prayed that simple prayer every night Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep that if and when something happened to me that I would be with the Lord.


 Grief is a constant. It is always present or lurking right around the corner of our lives either through our own family losses or those of friends that we love so much. It takes no vacation.


Death reminds me of a song I heard some years ago that has such powerful words for those hurting because of these losses.


Lord I don’t need a miracle to fully understand

That you possess all power, you hold it all in your hand

Lord I don’t need a miracle to know that you are really real

For the greatest of all miracles your can’t see, but you can feel

Let me feel your presence and go with me every where

Hold my hand through the darkness; let me know that you are there.



 If there is one single thing that we can do to help ourselves or anyone else during these blue times, it is to call on Jesus for help. He is our intercessor.  His phone line is never busy. 


I believe through prayer we touch God’s heart.  It does not have to be a rehearsed one but just something from the heart.  It can go something like this.




  Lord Jesus please touch all of those that are experiencing losses through death recently.  Wrap your arms of love around them let them feel your presence.  Remind them of those special memories that they have of those loved ones.  We thank you Lord for allowing those people to be a part of our lives. Let them know that if they put their faith in you Lord Jesus that there will be a great reunion one day and that we all shall be together again and that you shall brush away all tears.  Amen














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Reviewed by Susan de Vegter
Since the loss of my mother, life changed for me. I thought I was a humble person before but today I am truly humble. I hear my mom say ,"Slow down. Why the big hurry?" Nothing is so important now that it can't take an extra minute to smell the flowers, spend extra time with a child and read a good book out in the sunshine.
It took me a while to go through the conditioning of missing my mother but I started to see mom in me in the many ways throughout the day. I found myself doing as my mother would do. That was comfort. I have her with me in so many ways.
Come May I will move back home and the memories will all be greeted with the gift of a dear aromatic rose. She loved roses.
Thank you, aubrey, for being here and writing this article tonight. Christmas was my mom's favorite part of the year.

Merry Christmas!
Blessings and love,
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