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Mark M Lichterman

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Books by Mark M Lichterman
PARAPROSDOKIANS
By Mark M Lichterman
Last edited: Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Posted: Tuesday, March 13, 2012



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Recent articles by
Mark M Lichterman

• A Jewish Boycott
• Betrayal in Benghazi
• Did You Know?
• The 2000 Year Old Man
• Social Security History
• Lost C. Burnett Skit
• THE CANDY BOMBER
           >> View all 395
Pretty clever stuff.
If you've already seen them, doesn't hurt to see them again.

Example: War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


___________________________________________________________________

Winbston Churchill loved them: PARAPROSDOKIANS 
are  figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
 
1.  Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.   Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations.  Trains stop in train stations.  On my desk is a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12.  In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
14.  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16.  A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18.  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive.   Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you  hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24.  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 

 

 

Web Site mmlichterman.com
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Reviewed by John Martin
These are great, Mark. Thanks for sharing. Reminds of saying we had in my outfit in the army. When your chute don't open, it's not the fall that kills ya...It's the sudden stop at the end.
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Hilarious!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for the giggles, Mark!!

Your friend,
Anna
Reviewed by Tom Hyland
MARK ... DIDN'T KNOW THAT ... THANKS 4 THE WORD!

SEVERAL GOOD ONES HERE ...

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