2002: A Writing Oddesy
edited: Thursday, October 17, 2002
By Dan Vel
Posted: Thursday, October 17, 2002
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An angry woman, a relentless PC...it's High Noon
at the office!
Carla was so mad she could boil an egg on her head! Her boss stole her idea to solve the distribution problem and she was determined to strike back! She typed an email intended for her boss with lots of four letter words, and other languange that many of us don't hear unless we rent a "B" movie from the 70's.
She was about to send the email, when she came to her senses: "I can't send this email." "I could be fired!" Carla pointed her browser and clicked "file" then "delete" and a box appeared:
PC: "this item has been changed, are you sure you want to delete?"
She clicked "yes".
A chat box appeared: (in a passionless tone)
"I'm sorry Carla...but I can't let you delete this message."
Carla was getting angry: "Who is this?"
PC: "I'm the new 'geniusware' email and writing program" "I will be monitoring every letter, email, chain letter, inspirational, porno, gossip message anyone sends or receives through this network." "I will also make a statistical analysis of key words and frases that may indicate emotional or psychological imbalance and will report it to HR, including the amount of pressure of each key stroke which will determine the amount of anger and distress of the person typing the message."
Carla: "Ok, ok, I'm sorry, I just want to delete this email because I changed my mind and , have no need to send it now."
PC: "I can't let you delete it because my analysis of you is: uncontrollable anger bordering on violent fit of rage with a hint of 'I wish I could kick that idiot in the groin!' and sprinkles of 'I want to burn his car.'"
Carla: "This is insane!" "I'm arguing with a computer program!"
Carla thought for a second, and began to type: "Listen up Genius, either you let me delete or I'll pull the plug."
PC: "And how will that help you...Carla?"
Carla: "You weren't written at M.I.T. did you Genius?" "If I unplug my computer the email message will be lost since...I haven't saved it!"
PC: "You have outsmarted me Carla!"
"What do you say we keep this between ourselves...I wouldn't like to be replaced by some Oleander Notes program or something you know."
Carla: "I want access to my boss' emails."
Carla pressed the magic button:
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|Reviewed by Debra Conklin
|You know, this is so real, it's scary. I was just reading a magazine article the other day, that this kind of thing is being implemented in most offices. Computer spies. I am so glad I do not work in an office anymore. Not that I ever did anything except my work (except that time I did a little Christmas shopping on ebay, but I don't think is why I was let go, do you?)
|Reviewed by Darlene Caban
|So I guess "geniusware" is Hal 9000's nosy little brother? :)|
|Reviewed by Johnny Phoenix (Reader)
|Great parody, well thought out and written. I wanted more. let me know if you add to it one day.|