Time to think again.
NEWS FROM THE FRONT
By John V. Martin
I watched the news media start the Vietnam War back in the early sixties. Yes, it was the news media that put us there, alright. They started out with the little fillers on TV about the communists murders in Laos in 1960. By 1963 they had worked their way up to
selling us on our moral responsibly to save the Vietnamese. They did it all with selective focus, and made it out to be a really good idea. Actually it was, so that part wasn’t a hard
sell. Of course, a year or two into the war they decided to make it a bad idea, and blame the whole thing on our troops. Once again, mission accomplished, via selective focus.
Right now the news media beginning the process all over again. So I’d thought I help them out this time and give some ideas for their new selective focus campaign.
FAULTY WEAPONS MAY COST US THE WAR.
April 3rd, Somewhere in Iraqi...Private William Johnson of the seventh cavalry received what might be called a serious blood blister on his index finger today. He received the pinch wound while loading ammunition into his M-16 rifle magazine. The injury
occurred when skin from his trigger finger became caught between the bullet casing and the magazine receiver. This reporter was present at the incident and saw the immediate need to investigate further, and exparte the story.
After checking with unnamed senior officers, I quickly found out that this may not be an uncommon occurrence. I was able to learn from experts and retired military officers the very dangerous nature of this type of wound. Both seemed to agree, that in it’s severest state, this type of injury could possibly throw a soldier aim off and potently cause friendly fire incidents and civilian casualties. The tragic part is that military has been aware of the defective weapon system for years, and seems to be covering it up. Maybe the answer is softer magazines and ammunition, then again, maybe it’s just time to give
up and go home before our troops do any more damage.
TERRORIST SECRET PLAN TO USE
PICK UP TRUCKS AS WEAPONS UNCOVERED
Several Al Qaeda terrorists were secretly arrested in Northeast Pennsylvania last week. After three days of interrogation, they finally admitted that they were on a secret mission ordered by Saddem Hussein (You know he dead, right) himself. Their mission was to study the use of pick up trucks as weapons. In their study they quickly observed the unique ability of pick up trucks to knock down utility poles upon impact. One of the
terrorist, a fellow named Abdo Runamock stated, “It’s a wonderful weapon. All you need is a little beer and some gas in the tank.” Authorities are now investigating to see if there maybe a link between this activity and the incident that took place in Kuwait.
MARINE LIEUTENANT MAY FACE CHARGES
Marine Lieutenant Thomas Watkins, may be facing charges on aiding the enemy. The pending charge came about after Lt. Watkin’s platoon seized the Whataucrazeeman school for suicide bombers on the outskirts of Baghdad. It seems the captured commandant of the school was explaining it’s operation, and complaining of his own failure in not being able to send his graduates into action.. The actual charge itself stems from Lt. Watkins commenting, “Well, maybe if you didn’t have them practice with live bombs....” Watkins of course, claimed it was just an off the cuff comment. However,
senior military officials and the press feel he may have to charged with “Engaging in
Conversation with an Idiot.”
A second suicide bomber incident took place just south of the Syrian border last night. A US Apache patrol helicopter intercepted 23 suicide bombers while they were sneaky
accross the dessert. The helicopter circled at a safe distance, and addressed the group via a PA. “Where do you think you are going? Sgt. Thomas blared through the speaker.” “We
are suicide bombers, they shouted back.” “No you’re not, Sgt. Thomas heckled, I bet you’re just a bunch of jerks lost in the desert.” “No we are not jerks, they shouted back in anger, We’re suicide bombers I tell you!” Sgt. Thomas kept his cool and replied, “ I think you’re lying. Prove it!” After the explosions, Sgt. Thomas was said to comment, “Well,I’ll be damned. I guess they were, weren’t they?
AMERICAN WAR DEAD RAPIDLY APPROACHING
In one day, June 6, 1944, over six thousand brave young Americans gave their lives on the beaches of Normandy France. In the months and years that followed, hundreds of thousands of other brave Americans joined in giving their lives to end the terror of a
murdering dictator. This reporter can’t help but notice that the casualty rates in Iraqi are rapidly nearing that horrific one day lost of life. In fact, right now we are only 5950 deaths away. Who’s to blame for this disaster? Well, this reporter, like many other Americans believe Gen. Tommy Franks is to blame for these massive casualties. What the heck does a general know about military tactics anyway. Sure, he’s got years of
military combat experience and tactical training, okay. But so did that guy Norman Schwartzkopt. You remember him, right? He’s the guy we’re trying to prove messed up when he took on fourth largest army in world a few years back. Yeah, these guys are both cut from the same clothe, okay, and I’m afraid you just can’t trust people like that when
it comes to running a war. Now, if I was running this war ( I was a PFC. myself,) I would have started out with an invasion force of at least one hundred divisions. I’m not alone in
that thought either. In fact, all of the TV news people and pundits are in full agreement on that one. You have to keep in mind too, that these are people who have interviewed retire military officers, so they know what they’re talking about. But maybe it’s not to
late to put our freedom and the lives of sons and daughters in the hands of people who really know what they’re doing. I for one would be happy to serve on Peter Arnet’s General Staff.
Now those of you who think I’m be belittling our troops efforts and the dangers they face by my sarcastic comments, think again. There is not an American soldier in history that
wouldn’t proud to serve with this group brave fantastic Americans. Their war is no easier than any war we have to face in history. Nor is their exceptional valor and bravery any less then those who had gone before. The loss of one of them is sinful, and a tragic loss to
all us, and all that is good in humanity itself. But isn’t time we learn to put things in the proper prospective.
We didn’t win World War II by Earnie Pyle telling us that some poor battle shocked private went berserk and shot innocent French civilian. Edward R. Morrow didn’t seek out that one RAF pilot suffering from exhaustion and battle fatigue to prove the battle of
Britain was lost, either. Could it be that those guys were Americans first, and really knew what the enemy was all about. Of course there’s always room for a Tokyo Rose, too. Say, speaking of Peter Arnet, let me posed a question to his buddies in Baghdad. Hey, have
you Iraqi guys ever wondered if Baghdad Pete may not be one of Americas best spies. You know, like maybe while he’s bad mouthing America, he actually blinking out coded messages for the CIA. You guys ought to ask him. I know he wouldn’t lie to you, especially with your unique way of asking questions. Good Luck and have a nice day, Pete!