I received several phone calls today from "friends". Two phone calls in particular remain steadfast in my mind. During the first phone call, my friend went on ad naseum about her personal frustrations, while I expressed concern and offered support. Even though she is aware of some personal concerns that are uppermost in my mind at present, she never once asked how I was doing or so much as broached the subject. After more than an hour of intent listening, I ended the call.
The second phone call went like this:
"Wow, Tami… how have you been? I think of you so often and miss our conversations. Tell me, what’s been going on with you?"
I have a rather full plate these days, so there was much to relay. Still, I took pause and asked her to fill me in on her life since we last spoke a handful of weeks ago. This friend knew nothing of my current, most pressing, personal stuff. After an abridged version, she not only lent support, but also offered a solution to one of my concerns. We then chatted briefly about mundane things such as our pets and our children. The entire conversation probably lasted twenty minutes, yet it was so refreshing.
Could it be that this friend asked these questions of me because we hadn't talked in a few weeks? Perhaps so. But I know this friend; this is the norm for our conversations: concerned, caring, and always supportive.
We all have stuff. It’s just different stuff. The next time you talk with a friend, remember to ask about theirs.
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