Blogs by Barb McClatchy
The Day the Bottom Dropped Out
1/19/2009 2:32:17 PM
Everything DOES happen for a reason...I believe it now more than ever
In a New York minute...your world can literally be turned upside down, by death, by illness, by an accident, by unemployment. Or in some cases, by mere words. How ironic that the latter was the case for me recently.
A series of events--that in and of themselves may have been otherwise overlooked or disregarded as typical irresponsible, college student behavior--crystallized in my mind after someone, someone whom I had no reason not to trust, spoke the words of every parent's worst nightmare.
I've spent twenty years trying to be a good teacher and role model for my daughter. In less than one short minute, I felt as if I'd failed her. My only child was keeping dangerous company, or so I'd been told. The advice bestowed upon me by those closest to me was to act now, or potentially live with far greater regret later.
I acted. I turned worlds upside down like a waste basket and shook hard, vehemently, to see what would fall out. I became an amateur sleuth, piecing the bits of litter that fell to the floor together to find the proof I so desperately needed, but so desperately wanted not to find. My child's life, my life as I knew it, was at stake, or so I believed. How could I not act?
In the end, thankfully, what I found was that the words, hand-delivered on a silver platter, were a ruse to somehow get me to intervene with a new budding relationship. Irresponsible, young adult behavior aside, what I found was that my daughter was indeed never happier before in her life with this new, but unfamiliar and therefore unproven, beau. And the words delivered were a selfish and immature attempt of another to end that. Of course, it only served to make the newly formed bond between the lovebirds that much stronger in the end. But there was an additional silver lining, one which I could never have imagined...
No, it was not the ten pounds I lost during that month. It certainly wasn't the hair loss I experienced, nor the spike in blood sugar levels that were hopefully only spawned by event-driven stress and not the onset of diabetes. It wasn't the "intervention" that occurred or the drug testing or the plans to take her away if we confirmed the worst. What we found was a happy, healthy college student in love. But in a sense, a mini-miracle occurred that I hope served to show my daughter how much her family loves her. You see, the miracle is the "we" part. Her biological father and I came together and acted as one on her behalf after having gone nearly seven years without speaking. In a sense, the old, jealous beau paved the way for a much smoother day, hopefully far off in the future, and one that I suspect most of us had been shamefully dreading. One day, "we" will all stand behind her, together and in unity, when she ultimately gives herself to her true soul mate, whomever that may be.
Sometimes, I guess, the teacher must also be the student.
More Blogs by Barb McClatchy
The Day the Bottom Dropped Out - Monday, January 19, 2009
On Allowing Inspiration - Saturday, October 13, 2007
What email? - Friday, September 28, 2007