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CJ Barrimond

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Better Said Now Than Never Said At All
4/14/2008 12:55:17 PM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

As a parent we hope that what we teach our children in the time we have them as children is not wasted. We hope that the lesson they learn are significant enough that they won't make too many mistake in their life. I taught my children some very important lesson in their life about human nature, love, trust, family and education. Those lessons taught are really starting to pay off. In a conversation with my youngest about educating children and the parts parents and teachers play in the educating of our children I found he was very adamant about the part a parent must take in assisting in educating our children of today. He is a firm believer that a parent must be active in the educating process of one's own children as well as the teachers. Without parental involvement these children stand no chance in life. Now we don't want our children to raise their children the exact way we raise them, but we hope that what we did teach them, does rub off on them in some way. He is the last person in the world I would have expected to take a firm stand on education. You see when he was in school, he went thru so much discrimination and a failed education. All our efforts to assist him was failed. I finally found that I had to remove him from the everyday traditional school and put him in a homestudy school. He got the education we were praying for. Because of his race, he was asked during a race riot at his high school to pick a side. Now to him picking a side is turning on his heritage. You see he has so many different races all in one person. His english class turned into a racial debate on a daily basis. It was not a controlled structured class, a few students turned every book into a racial debate instead of learning the true meaning of the writings of that author. My daughter on the other hand went to a techincal training school and was very pleased with her learning. She did not go thru racial debates or racial riots. Her school was more intent on the educating process rather than the racial divide of the students attending. Her education was more professional and practical. They choose the school they wanted to attend and we offered other options for them, but they ultimately make the choice that fit them best. As a parent of a public traditional school child, I found failures in alot of areas. Alot of it has to do with the monies the districts recieve. If a child skips school on a regular basis, that school suffers more than most parents know. My children were never aloowed to skip school, even for a dactor's appointment. If that appointment could not be avoided, they attended prior to the appointment and after the appointment. There is no real excuse for missing school unless they are so sick that they needed a dactor to excuse them.

We go thru life with more hope and prayers of our children becoming someone successful. Our life has been lived and now it is their turn. I had a teacher once tell my husband and myself that that when it comes to educating a child, that we have already been educated and that the responsibility of being educated falls on our children themselves. WRONG< WRONG< WRONG! That process is a group process. That teacher should have been removed from teaching along time ago. We teach our children the basics while we have them in our lair, but when they walk out into that big world, we find out how much of what we teach them they actual absorbed from our teachings. Can they survive the grinds of daily existance? We hope so. If they fail and fall on their face, we encourage them to get back up and try again just as we did when they fell off their bikes. Everyone needs encouragement at some point of their life and children need more. If you are planning to have children and think that their education is the responsibility of a teacher, don't have those children. You are not ready. You have the wrong impression of the teacher's job. You are the teacher first and the schools teachers are there to teach other subjects they must have in a successful life. As you learn lessons from your mistakes in life, those lessons are also needed to be taught to your children, so they don't make that same mistake in life. Practice what you preach to your children, because they are the first to see thru you and your teachings. Trust them to make wise choices and trust that when they get themselves in a pickle that they will come to you for advise and direction. Trust that they will put family first in life and be responsible as a person and a parent. Trust that they use wise judgement in picking and choosing their freinds and acquaintences. Lastly, trust that your child makes those lessons for their own children and the education process keeps on giving from generation to generation. The one thing that we should never teach our children is bitterness in the lessons we learn. You know what I am talking about and if your don't, then maybe you are still passing on the bitterness from your lessons learned. Do some major soul searching on how you teach your children and what you are teaching them. Tempers in the teaching has its place and not in the sense of striking a child even when that child raises it's hand to you. When that child raises a hand to you, then you are missing the signs of a child in crisses. You need to take the appropriate steps to get your child help. Listen to your children and talk about what interests them not just you. You learn so much about your children and their thougt processes and what they feel about themselves, others and life in general when you listen. Discuss the music they listen to, don't just critise it, listen to some of it and discuss the meaning of the lyrics and what the artist is telling people, discuss the movies you watch and watch movies with your children, even if you are not a fan of the material they are watching, but it gives you an idea of their likes and dislikes. My children were always told that I can be your best freind or your worst nightmare. Tell me the truth and don't try and snow me, cause if you do and get caught, your nightmare starts. It will end when you treat me with the same respect I treat you with.

Yes I went cruising with my children, because there are ways of getting around alot of things. That cruising was a lesson learned by both my children and myself. They appreciated my efforts in interacting with them on their level and yet was not affraid to interact with their mom infront of their freinds either. You were a child once, have you forgetton that life? Remember your children are going to do everything you did, but in a more sophisticated way. So none of what they do should be greek to you. Wake up and take notice of what they are learning and who is teaching it. You and a qualified professional should be in the driver seat of teaching your children the education they need.

Please forgive all my misspellings in this piece.

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More Blogs by CJ Barrimond
•  Better Said Now Than Never Said At All - Monday, April 14, 2008  

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