Blogs by SilverCeltic Moon
9/22/2007 9:31:47 PM
The life and times of me....
This blog is for me. I am stating my thoughts and feelings here as a way to free them from myself.
I have been going through a process for a while now to have surgery. Its come down to getting a date for the surgery (Nov. 5th). This is the first surgery I have ever had...and this is major surgery.
My feelings? Fear, nervousness and excitement (because this surgery will help me to be healthier and to live longer). I am afraid of leaving my loved one and afraid of the actual moment of death, but not the beyond of it. I hope that expresses what I mean it to.
All my close friends live far away and while I have my husband, who I love deeply and who is my best friend and is a wonderful, understanding man who has supported my decision to have this surgery, it is not the same as having my female friends. I miss them terribly and although we can talk on the phone, it isn't the same. I need someone here and now to talk to. So, I am feeling sorry for myself and feeling a bit more stressed than I guess is good for me. I need to sort out all my feelings, prepare for this surgery and get things in order.
Do I have the right to feel this way? Certainly I do. Am I disgusted with myself for feeling the way I do. Certainly I do. (lol). Is this helping to fix those feelings? Nope. LOL. Bear with me as I jot down thoughts, emotions, anger, frustration and probably a billion other emotions, etc.
In addition, this past month I have been dealing with (so have my co-workers as well) a person who, how shall I say this, brown-noses the bosses...and does it well. In addition to having this going on, the bosses seem to not only like it, but seem to roll in it until they are perfumed with the same stench that she gives off to those of us who have to watch her performances. Do I blame her totally for this? No. I have decided that this is part of her nature and while it should have been discouraged, it wasn't. Therefore the whole blame can not be on her shoulders, but on those of management who have allowed her flattery (she buys coffee and a sometime a muffin for the manager every morning; She goes over to the manager's house and hangs out alot(...I mean alot!); She goes into the manager's office and chats even though she is supposed to be out helping with the customers; the list goes on. She is a part time employee but is allowed to behave as a member of management...do what she wants, etc. Other people have left because of this and I may if things don't get better after I recover from surgery, that is. This type of stress isn't helping my situation much either.
So goes life.
Until my next blast....
Take care and know that this is helping me to de-stress.
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Surgery - Saturday, September 22, 2007