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B.J. Olvera

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Blogs by B.J. Olvera

Busy, Busy, But No Life of My Own
2/4/2009 1:17:15 PM

Life's turn of events, taking you "out of charge", while being "totally in charge"; the story of many Baby Boomers today.
Yes, as many of you probably know from personal experience, or knowing second hand from a loved one, close friend, relative, etc., life's constant changing in the affect of time turning, your life take's on a certain "life" or "death" of it's own, in the care-giving of another.

To speak of this experience firsthand from my point of view, I am here to tell you that care-giving is a difficult, but not impossible thing to do. It can take a person who is totally and completely "in charge" of not only their life, but of many other lives, jobs, duties, responsiblities, etc., and put them "out of charge" of all those things, (even to the point of feeling like you have no life of your own) and put them "totally in charge" of someone else's well-being, life, diet, health, personal hygiene, financial decisions, and current and future life decisions.

How did we get here from there? The natural progression of life and the propensity of aging. The natural process of accepting the "role reversal" between a parent and child. The natural, taking on of the care-taker role of a loved one, honoring them and their last wishes. Respect, love, consideration, and total unselfishness are virtues you will have to have, or you will be forced to develop them when life hands you the leading part in this play of responsiblity and acceptance.

I voluntarily took on the "helping" of my Mother many years ago (now almost 25 years). Over the years her abilities and capabilities, physically, declined, and her needs increased, thus also adding hours and dimension of depth to her needs, and my helping her. Over the past year and one-half or so (time all blends together in a big, quick mess now), her life has become my life, and my life is no more in the sense of time, enjoyment, and self. My life has increased though, in patience, unconditional love, giving, tough love, tough decisions, and choices I make daily, and the repercussions thereof.

Many of you know this same story, in taking care of your mothers, fathers, and other loved ones and family members. It's a tough job....but somebody has to do it.
No, we didn't ask for it, but yes, we did take it on, and now it is up to us to do a job well done, and let them live out their years in as much dignity as possible. They may or may not have been there for us, but the main point is, we are now there for them.

Carry on, and try to retain some of your own identity, and time for yourself, no matter how limited the time and energy may be. It's important to not lose yourself in the process we call life, whether it be theirs or yours.

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More Blogs by B.J. Olvera
•  Busy, Busy, But No Life of My Own - Wednesday, February 04, 2009  

• My How The Time Does Fly! - Saturday, July 05, 2008
• Change Inevitable - Saturday, July 07, 2007
• Briefly Me - Monday, April 23, 2007
• The Year Of Big Changes - Monday, March 19, 2007
• A New Outlook - Friday, January 06, 2006
• Uplifting and Encouraging - Tuesday, January 03, 2006
• Please Don't Worry About Me - Monday, January 02, 2006

Hi, my name is Mary Ann by Mary Ann Barrucco

cover Alcoholism, compulsive gambling and the ordeals of a heart transplant..  
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