I have seen this piece floating around blog world off and on for sometime now or similar ones anyway. I would like to respond to the speech that will never be given.
26 May 2008, 18:19
Subject: If Bush resigned today
Body: This is what his speech would be.....
Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans', not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world, or what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't sink in.
Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. We face real threats in the world. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.
Don't give me this 'blood for oil' crap. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact t hat the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Clinton established that policy.
Bet you didn't know that, did you?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were s imply able to out spend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe. You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how m any of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.
Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet; it just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a Cat 5 hurricane approaching.
I could say more about your idiotic belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.
So, I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream of) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too.
That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it - you can have her. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what I mean.
The rest of you - kiss my ass!
Normally I would start out by saying ĎDear Mr. PresidentĒ, I wonít this time simply because, while you may hold the title, you certainly donít act like one. In response to your speech you gave today, I will attempt to point out why we would all be better off should you follow through with your threat to quit. This is, most likely, the first decision you have made on your own. Knowing how hard it is for you to follow more than one train of thought, I will remark on each paragraph in the order you laid them out. By the way, a paragraph is a string of sentences or thoughts bound by an independent clause. I felt the need to explain that given you come from a state that considers football an academic achievement. Sorry Texas, but if the shoe fits......
Ok, letís get started. First of all, you have never known who we are. I am glad you started out with that declaration because that is, by far, your biggest downfall. You have no concept of the meaning of fellow Americans. The religious right is a sector of the American population not the definition of fellow Americans. Fortunately, few care who you consider fellow Americans. Your job is to run the country along with the Legislative Branch and Judicial Branch. Somebody wasnít paying attention in school.
There is a big difference between breaking the law and being charged and convicted through due process. I actually find it rather troubling you would even offer up this tidbit since your Executive Branch (thatís you and your cronies) has been the driving force behind the new ideology of ďguilty until proven innocent.Ē I think Valerie Plame may have a few words to say to you concerning guilt by association. Itís been a long standing premise that the Vice President is the assistant to the President not the other way around. Again, someone didnít attend orientation, shame, shame. I find it amazing that Congress has had to spend most of its term trying to keep you in check. Donít even get me started on Guantanamo Bay, wire tapping, and security cameraís in every corner. You have trampled on the Constitution at every opportunity and donít think for a moment we havenít noticed. Your legacy will discredit you soon enough. You are hardly worth the effort to impeach. You grow more harmless everyday.
Maybe, just maybe, if our elected officials would try honesty and integrity on for size we would know whatís going on in the world. I have a feeling all we need do is ask, under oath, corporate America whatís going on and we would get a better understanding than you could offer us. By the way, this nation may be tarnished but it is still a great nation despite your willingness to sell us to the highest bidder. Go ahead and quit, thatís really not a shocker given your military record or lack there of. Lazy, are you serious? Leave it to you to confuse lazy with indifferent. When we are offered up the same groomed politicianís election after election we are left with little choice. Maybe all this hostility stems from the fact that there is change in the wind. Maybe your kind realizes your days are numbered. Voter turn out is on the rise and we are starting to listen to more than two parties.
All we need do is compare our shrinking wages against the price at the pump, at the grocery store, and of healthcare to know we have real problems with our economy. Bravo, our unemployment rate meets your Clinton comparison. Gosh, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That is such a typical politicianís response to a deeper problem. As your Dad would say, ďRead my lipsĒ its wages and outsourcing. When we are left with working at McDonalds or Wall Mart, who cares if unemployment is down? We are becoming a nation of retailers. No wonder your approval rating is so low. Your comments about Minorities, while commendable, flies in the face of your inability to understand the needs of the American farmer and small business owners concerning the plight of the illegal alien work force.
I find your answer to price gouging tired, worn out, and typical given your personal interests in an industry out of control. I canít help but wonder if we elected to use some method of gas rationing to curb our consumption and bring down the price of fuel would the oil conglomerates and auto industry suddenly increase research into alternative fuels, probably not. I do, however, believe the consumer would demand sweeping changes in mass transit and fuel economy, just a thought.
I donít hear a lot of argument about our policy concerning Iraq prior to 9/11. Who cares if you got duped into thinking invading Iraq would solve any issues concerning terrorism the real war on terrorism belongs in Afghanistan not in a country of secular divisionism out of control. Democracy is born out of a majority populace demanding change. God, you are such a moron. Only a total idiot would fight a war on multiple fronts. I hate the term War on Terrorism. Terrorism is the act of terrorizing. Terrorists are people who refuse to live within their beliefs and among others. Terrorists by nature seek to punish free thinking and popular opinion. We should be hunting down these rogue groups of radicals who understand that fear is a weapon of mass destruction. War on terrorists seems much more appropriate and much easier to focus on. When we individualize these outlaws of society they are much more accessible. I doubt seriously that there are more than a few who would consider the war on terrorists a short term campaign. Here again, you show us why we consider you out of touch with what needs to be done. The problem is that the occupation of Iraq must not be a long-term endeavor. We need not conquer the Middle East to support Israel. Quit trying to twist the truth to suit your corporate agendas. As for your notion that we contribute to these splinter groups by supporting our right to free speech and supporting the philosophies of our choosing is another example of your arrogance.
As for the comment on expecting the Government to bail us out of crisis, what do you think the Federal Government is? That must have been a day you were out partying with your friends instead of attending the class that explained, WE ARE THE GOVERNMENT you PUTZ!! Now I understand why you were barely re-elected, of course we all know the truth behind that one. Only a narrow minded religious zealot would consider the American public ignorant and incapable of choosing a competent leader. I honestly doubt that Pelosi could screw up things worse than you have succeeded in doing, so go ahead and cut and run (your term by the way). The sooner you move back to the country bumpkin life you are so accustomed to, the better off this nation will be. Thank you for taking Cheney with you, after all, he is the puppet master and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. He does move a little slower than you these days.
Oh, one more thing, I was a Republican or at least I was until you took office. The Republican Party that exists today is a shell of its former driven by greed and self-righteous indignation. Fortunately, your time will run out before you will be able to take down this sovereign nation through monumental blunders and odious decision making.
God Bless America and the ideals set forth by a free nation.
JD Roland (a proud and free American)
PS: I am certain we can repair our international reputation once you and your self-righteous throng have vacated the public eye. What a Putz!!!