Blogs by Barbara J Henry
Ten Ways to Become Your Own Best Friend
8/11/2009 11:17:17 AM
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"WE SHOULD TREAT OURSELVES AS WELL AS WE TREAT OUR BEST FRIENDS".
The phrase "best friend" is familiar to all of us,and if I were to ask you to define it,it would not be difficult at all to do.
Most of us are fortunate enough to have had friends all of our lives,and some of us still have our friends from childhood as our best and most trusted allies.
Over the years we have confided in our friends and they in us.
We have fought, made up, and grown closer as a result of our battles.
Let me ask you a couple of questions: Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your best friend?
Are you as happy in your company as you are in the presence of your most trusted confidante?
I believe we need to be as kind to ourselves as we are to those close to us,and until we are able to do so,we need to keep working on our friendship with ourselves.
Here are 10 things we can do for ourselves that will help us to become better friends to ourselves and others in our lives:
1.Accept ourselves: We must come to terms with who we are and learn to like ourselves as we are, before we can accept others. We can not give others what we do not have.
It took me a while to get this one right.
You see, for the longest time while growing up,and even into my young adult years,I was quite uncomfortable with my oriental features;I did not like my eyes,nor my high cheek bones that made my eyes appear even more slanted.
It took a lot of living,as well as support from my Mom and others,to get me to a point where I was able to accept my uniqueness;
2. Love ourselves:This is difficult to do if we have not accepted who we are or how we look;
3. Forgive ourselves:Too often we are very hard on ourselves for something we did or failed to do in the past.
Instead of being so unforgiving toward ourselves,we should determine what if any thing we can do now to set things right,and begin doing it as soon as possible;
4. Protect ourselves: It is important to protect ourselves from the negative influences that are so prevalent in our society.Not only must we protect our physical selves,we need to protect our emotional,mental and psychological health,as well,just to name a few;
5. Discipline ourselves: This seems easy enough,but how often do we consciously think about the need to exercise discipline in the many areas of our lives?
6. Pamper ourselves : Right after 'discipline'? They are the flip sides of each other.
Let me explain:Discipline is needed to focus on and to achieve a desired goal.If we act only when we want to,it will take longer for us to achieve the goal,if it is achieved at all.But when the goal is reached as a result of the discipline we exercised,and the actions we took,'pampering' is acceptable as a reward for completing or achieving the goal;
7. Respect ourselves: We must respect or value ourselves.
We must respect and uphold the things that make us who we are:our uniqueness,our value system,the talents and gifts we have been given;
8. Challenge ourselves:Like the discipline we must dole out to ourselves when needed,we must also challenge ourselves to continue growing. We should seek ways to promote our personal development so that we can always give more quantity and quality to those around us;
9.Encourage ourselves:This can come in any form that is needed at any given time.Of course we would like for others to encourage us,but we must be our biggest fan,our most energetic cheerleader!
10.Enjoy ourselves;Enjoying ourselves,the things we love doing,even when no one else is around,will help us to become our truest and best friend.
As a result of habitually doing these things to affirm and to improve our lives, we will become better: better people, better friends to others,and equally important, better friends to ourselves.
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