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Kage Alan

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Member Since: Jun, 2009

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Butt Babes In Boyland

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Butt Ninjas From Hell

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Butt Pirates In Space

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Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell

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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way To My Sexual Orientation

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Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins

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Blogs by Kage Alan

Is It A Trick Question When Someone Asks Where You Want It?
5/19/2011 2:47:03 AM
I love having a Lady Gaga moment. No, no. I'm not a Government Hooker. I was thinking having a mouthy-I-was Born This Way moment. My mouth does runneth over!
I’m not fond of rude… No. I completely and somewhat entirely don’t like stupid… Uh, uh. Okay. I have an issue with annoying people and that covers rude folks and that other kind of person I mentioned. I’ve stated in the past that we need to stop putting off some of the things in life we can do now with our loved ones because we don’t know what the future will bring. And when it does arrive, it may be too late. The same can be said for dealing with those annoying folks I mentioned. I’m getting too old not to be calling things out as I see them and you know what? I kinda like it. Oh, I so just had a Lady Gaga I was Born This Way moment!

I think it came to realization back when I first published the original version of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation. I’d sent out a huge number of e-mails and letters begging to see if gay magazines or newspapers would be willing to review a copy of the book that I’d send them. Some politely declined, some accepted and a few didn’t respond. I followed up with them two weeks later and some politely declined etc etc etc…except for one. He e-mailed back a scathing message about trying to get a free ad when it was a small paper in need of funding and I should have asked for their rates.

Many iterations of a return letter later in which I eventually took out the suggestion of where he could jam his ad, I politely explained that I was paying for these copies of my book out of my own pocket, had no support from my original publisher and had become my own publicist. I then stated that had he responded by declining the review, but then suggesting running an ad and providing the rates, I might have considered it. However, based on how his rant had gone and his treatment of me, it was unlikely to ever happen. He did write back and apologized, which floored me, but he wouldn’t have if I’d kept my trap shut.

I’m also not above suggesting somewhat loudly that someone use their blinker when they’re turning. God, that irks me, especially when they’re trying to run me over. It’s not like they even know me. Well, they might. They might have heard about me. And watching people flick cigarette butts out their window or onto the street when they’re walking? Drives me mental. Of course, I had to stop suggesting people pick their butts up and stick them someplace that they then turned around and asked me if that’s where I’d like it. That is SUCH a trick question!

But I’m not the only one who speaks out about things.

A friend was shopping at Nino Salvaggio’s–a friend, mind you, who drives and flicks his cigarette out the window–and found himself in a line being held up by a woman with two children trying to use a Bridge card to buy crab legs and lobster. The cashier was attempting to explain to her that she couldn’t use a Bridge card for those items. The woman wasn’t having it and my friend ended up speaking up and suggesting that perhaps he and the other tax payers might not be comfortable with someone on assistance buying crab and lobster. Perhaps she should be shopping for more inexpensive items at another store? She did NOT enjoy being called out like that.

Word to my friend above, though: STOP tossing your damn cigarettes out the window! You have an ashtray!

So have any of you gotten mouthy about anything?

_____________________

Kage Alan is the Just One of the Guys watching, Cars listening author of “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation,” “Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins” and the first book in a separate series, “Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell.” Who cares if Rick Ocasek is in his 60s? The man still writes decent songs and the latest Cars CD sounds like it came right out of the 80s!


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• A December of Sorrow, A Year of Remembering - Monday, December 17, 2012
• The Face of Gay 22 (J.P. Barnaby) - Saturday, December 15, 2012
• Nightmares of a Writer’s Mind - Thursday, December 13, 2012
• A Grand, Exciting, Phenomenal and Borderline Orgasmic Writing Experiment! - Monday, December 10, 2012
• The Face of Gay 21 (Thom) - Saturday, December 08, 2012
• Fear My Zany Zappers (And Other Cool Gifts Throughout The Years)! - Thursday, December 06, 2012


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