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Robin A Spicer

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Member Since: Oct, 2002

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Blogs by Robin A Spicer

The Struggle
3/21/2007 7:41:32 AM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

Aftermath of Separation

Since my wife deserted me, and our daughter, life has been a struggle. Each day we awake to face another day of pain at being rejected. I dream of her every night and in the morning my pillow is wet from my tears.

It is now four months since she left us. Four months of trying to speak to her, if only to arrange for our daughter to visit her, but to no avail. She has never contacted us for any reason or made a single contribution towards the care and health of her daughter.

She left of her own accord, influenced by the lifestyles of others, she called me boring, yet I am told that she insists that I forced her to leave. I begged her to stay, as did our child. But it is obvious that what she wanted was any excuse to leave and find a younger man.

I am tired of making excuses for her, covering for the rumours that have come back to me, whether they be true or false.

For 14 years I supported her in everything she did. For 14 years I cooked all her meals and the meals of her children. In those fourteen years I never once lifted my hand or voice in anger or critism against her or the children. We lived in an Alchohol free, drug free, violence free household. I did the washing three times a week, making sure that she and the children had clean clothes. If she wanted something I did my best to get it for her. I was never unfaithful or cheated on her. Whether she is cheating on me, I don't know and don't want to know. My stepson tells me she has a "Boyfriend." 

We are still Married and while this remains true, I refuse to be an Adulterer.

I have learned that the rewards for being Loving, Kind, Affectionate and Considerate are; Rejection, insults, lies or exagerations to justify her actions, and watching ones child suffer for being ignored, as her mother refuses to visit her, answer calls, emails or SMS, all for the welfare and health of her own child. As she purues her new life, she leaves us in limbo, with no dirrection or forseeable future goals to which we can aspire.

What does one say when a child says, "Mother dosen't like me anymore" or when she says "I will stab her in the eye, and her Boyfriend". She loves her Mother, but that is fast becoming a loseing battle, as she starts to be indifferent to her mothers existence, denying that she ever had a mother.

I only wish I knew how to get angry, how to Hate. But this is not my way. yet at times, I want to stand outside and scream.

My daughter tells me I am stupid because I still love my wife.

Maybe she is right?



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More Blogs by Robin A Spicer
• Hmmm... - Tuesday, October 28, 2008
• As Time Flows By - Friday, June 08, 2007
•  The Struggle - Wednesday, March 21, 2007  
• Iraq - Wednesday, February 14, 2007
• Separation - Monday, February 05, 2007
• Wednesday - Wednesday, March 30, 2005
• Monday - Monday, March 28, 2005
• Kids - Saturday, March 26, 2005
• Sorrow - Tuesday, January 04, 2005
• Vale Barticus - Wednesday, October 06, 2004
• Politics - Friday, September 24, 2004
• Holidays, Rock Spiders and Discrimination - Tuesday, September 21, 2004
• Pontifications - Friday, September 17, 2004
• Ela'n Vitale - Saturday, August 28, 2004
• Sunday - Sunday, August 15, 2004
• Party and Thoughts - Saturday, July 31, 2004
• Disjointed Thought - Tuesday, July 27, 2004
• Why are we Waiting? and other Pontifications. - Monday, July 26, 2004
• The Death of the Bard - Sunday, July 25, 2004
• I'm Back - Wednesday, July 14, 2004
• Got my Motor Runnin - Tuesday, June 22, 2004
• Shopping and Debate - Saturday, June 19, 2004
• Thusday and Shopping - Wednesday, June 16, 2004
• Ho Hum - Tuesday, June 15, 2004
• My Brain Hurts - Saturday, June 12, 2004
• Today - Tuesday, June 08, 2004
• Oops! I did it again - Sunday, June 06, 2004
• Chaos - Friday, June 04, 2004
• Pot Pouri - Tuesday, June 01, 2004
• Thursdays, Shopping hell, and Assorted Sundries - Thursday, May 27, 2004
• Babies? and Sundries - Wednesday, May 26, 2004
• Another day passes - Tuesday, May 25, 2004
• Yesterday, Tomorrow - Monday, May 24, 2004
• April one - Wednesday, March 31, 2004
• Membership and assorted thoughts - Wednesday, March 31, 2004
• 15th - Saturday, February 14, 2004
• Heat - Thursday, February 12, 2004
• Sorrow - Wednesday, January 28, 2004
• The Aftermath - Friday, January 02, 2004
• Holidays - Tuesday, December 30, 2003
• Chaos Reigns - Monday, December 01, 2003
• Getting Well - Thursday, November 06, 2003
• Network - Monday, October 20, 2003
• Life Goes on - Monday, October 13, 2003
• Today - Wednesday, September 10, 2003
• I'm Back - Sunday, September 07, 2003
• Peace at last - Monday, July 14, 2003
• Battle Stations! - Thursday, July 10, 2003
• Trip - Friday, July 04, 2003
• Goodnight - Thursday, July 03, 2003


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