Blogs by Robin A Spicer
3/21/2007 7:41:32 AM
Aftermath of Separation
Since my wife deserted me, and our daughter, life has been a struggle. Each day we awake to face another day of pain at being rejected. I dream of her every night and in the morning my pillow is wet from my tears.
It is now four months since she left us. Four months of trying to speak to her, if only to arrange for our daughter to visit her, but to no avail. She has never contacted us for any reason or made a single contribution towards the care and health of her daughter.
She left of her own accord, influenced by the lifestyles of others, she called me boring, yet I am told that she insists that I forced her to leave. I begged her to stay, as did our child. But it is obvious that what she wanted was any excuse to leave and find a younger man.
I am tired of making excuses for her, covering for the rumours that have come back to me, whether they be true or false.
For 14 years I supported her in everything she did. For 14 years I cooked all her meals and the meals of her children. In those fourteen years I never once lifted my hand or voice in anger or critism against her or the children. We lived in an Alchohol free, drug free, violence free household. I did the washing three times a week, making sure that she and the children had clean clothes. If she wanted something I did my best to get it for her. I was never unfaithful or cheated on her. Whether she is cheating on me, I don't know and don't want to know. My stepson tells me she has a "Boyfriend."
We are still Married and while this remains true, I refuse to be an Adulterer.
I have learned that the rewards for being Loving, Kind, Affectionate and Considerate are; Rejection, insults, lies or exagerations to justify her actions, and watching ones child suffer for being ignored, as her mother refuses to visit her, answer calls, emails or SMS, all for the welfare and health of her own child. As she purues her new life, she leaves us in limbo, with no dirrection or forseeable future goals to which we can aspire.
What does one say when a child says, "Mother dosen't like me anymore" or when she says "I will stab her in the eye, and her Boyfriend". She loves her Mother, but that is fast becoming a loseing battle, as she starts to be indifferent to her mothers existence, denying that she ever had a mother.
I only wish I knew how to get angry, how to Hate. But this is not my way. yet at times, I want to stand outside and scream.
My daughter tells me I am stupid because I still love my wife.
Maybe she is right?
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More Blogs by Robin A Spicer
Hmmm... - Tuesday, October 28, 2008
As Time Flows By - Friday, June 08, 2007
The Struggle - Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Iraq - Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Separation - Monday, February 05, 2007
Wednesday - Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Monday - Monday, March 28, 2005
Kids - Saturday, March 26, 2005
Sorrow - Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Vale Barticus - Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Politics - Friday, September 24, 2004
Holidays, Rock Spiders and Discrimination - Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Pontifications - Friday, September 17, 2004
Ela'n Vitale - Saturday, August 28, 2004
Sunday - Sunday, August 15, 2004
Party and Thoughts - Saturday, July 31, 2004
Disjointed Thought - Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Why are we Waiting? and other Pontifications. - Monday, July 26, 2004
The Death of the Bard - Sunday, July 25, 2004
I'm Back - Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Got my Motor Runnin - Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Shopping and Debate - Saturday, June 19, 2004
Thusday and Shopping - Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Ho Hum - Tuesday, June 15, 2004
My Brain Hurts - Saturday, June 12, 2004
Today - Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Oops! I did it again - Sunday, June 06, 2004
Chaos - Friday, June 04, 2004
Pot Pouri - Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Thursdays, Shopping hell, and Assorted Sundries - Thursday, May 27, 2004
Babies? and Sundries - Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Another day passes - Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Yesterday, Tomorrow - Monday, May 24, 2004
April one - Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Membership and assorted thoughts - Wednesday, March 31, 2004
15th - Saturday, February 14, 2004
Heat - Thursday, February 12, 2004
Sorrow - Wednesday, January 28, 2004
The Aftermath - Friday, January 02, 2004
Holidays - Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Chaos Reigns - Monday, December 01, 2003
Getting Well - Thursday, November 06, 2003
Network - Monday, October 20, 2003
Life Goes on - Monday, October 13, 2003
Today - Wednesday, September 10, 2003
I'm Back - Sunday, September 07, 2003
Peace at last - Monday, July 14, 2003
Battle Stations! - Thursday, July 10, 2003
Trip - Friday, July 04, 2003
Goodnight - Thursday, July 03, 2003