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Joel Arnold

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Member Since: May, 2010

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Blogs by Joel Arnold

The Care and Feeding of Writers
11/14/2010 4:59:53 PM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

Congratulations! You have a writer! Follow these simple instructions to get the most enjoyment out of this recent addition to your family.

Housing: Keep your writer warm and dry. Change its bedding often as writers tend to slough of dreams of fame the older they get.

Food: Make sure your writer has plenty to eat, as well as a daily multivitamin. If left to its own devices, it may try to consist on nothing but coffee and Pop Tarts. If your writer becomes jittery, assume it's doing this secretively and correct its behavior with a rolled-up newspaper or the promise of a writers' conference.

Exercise: Make sure to take your writer on daily walks. It may grumble about this, but assure your writer it's for the best. Bring along treats to entice it, and don't forget a few plastic bags to pick up any unnecessary adverbs it leaves behind.

Obedience: Make sure to use strong, firm commands with your writer. It may bristle if you use five words when only one will do. Again, if your writer remains obstinate after repeated commands, a rolled-up newspaper is appropriate. Make sure to give lots of praise when your writer receives an acceptance or takes a shower, as both are cause for celebration.

Follow this simple advice and your writer will provide years of companionship and detached bemusement.


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More Blogs by Joel Arnold
• The Sucking Suckathon of Suckiness - Monday, May 21, 2012
• Mississippi Pearls and a Car Biding Its Time on the Ice 'til Spring - Thursday, December 29, 2011
• One Decade, One Story - or how One Thing Leads to Another - Wednesday, December 28, 2011
• Racing Minnesota-style! - Wednesday, December 28, 2011
• This Here Minnesota Horror Author was a Big Old Scaredy-Cat - Thursday, December 22, 2011
• Jack the Blob Killer - Monday, December 19, 2011
• Death Rhythm - Tuesday, September 20, 2011
• More Writing What You Know - Monday, September 19, 2011
• How I Interpret 'Write What You Know' - Wednesday, August 03, 2011
• Blessings - or - What I write after having one too many... - Wednesday, August 03, 2011
• 120 Miles in a Canoe - Monday, June 27, 2011
• On Stephen King - Thursday, June 23, 2011
• Why Horror? - Wednesday, June 22, 2011
• Zen & the Art of Swearing - Friday, June 10, 2011
• If Coffee Shops were Run by Airlines - Thursday, May 12, 2011
• Trying to Figure Out What Scares Me - Monday, March 21, 2011
• My Confession - Tuesday, March 08, 2011
• Going Indie with my novel Northwoods Deep - Friday, March 04, 2011
• How I Envision Conflict When Writing - Thursday, March 03, 2011
• Wall Drug - why it's one of my favorite places - Wednesday, February 02, 2011
• Jonesing for a Road Trip - Wednesday, February 02, 2011
• Snowmapocalyptopalooza - Tuesday, February 01, 2011
• How Do You Remember? - Thursday, January 20, 2011
• When your parents are librarians... - Tuesday, January 18, 2011
• The genesis of a novel - the first 6 days - Tuesday, January 04, 2011
• Searching for Truth - Characterization - Thursday, December 16, 2010
• Control - and a little more about Northwoods Deep - Monday, December 13, 2010
• Bukowski - Wednesday, December 08, 2010
• Flies, Flies, Spam, and Flies - Friday, December 03, 2010
• Naivete and the Young Writer - Thursday, December 02, 2010
• For Writers looking for some Adventure - Wednesday, December 01, 2010
• My usual rider for family/friend appearances - Tuesday, November 23, 2010
• Writing and Me - a dramatization - Wednesday, November 17, 2010
• Writing Tip o' the Day (now with vitamin C!) - Tuesday, November 16, 2010
• The Power of Music - Tuesday, November 16, 2010
• To All the Bookstores I've Loved Before - Monday, November 15, 2010
•  The Care and Feeding of Writers - Sunday, November 14, 2010  
• Rudiments - Thursday, November 11, 2010
• Writing Tip o' the Day - Wednesday, November 10, 2010
• Tragedy - now with 50% more pathos! - Tuesday, November 09, 2010
• Perspective - Monday, November 08, 2010
• The Daunting Dauntiness of Tweeting on Twitter - Saturday, November 06, 2010


The Great Canadian Adventure: From Indian Country To Nation State by Rosemary Patterson

The history of Canada from European contact to the present day acknowledging the contribution of First Nations people to the existence of Canada as separate from the U.S. and their..  
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