Blogs by Joel Arnold
Writing and Me - a dramatization
11/17/2010 6:18:32 AM
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Writing & Me - a dramatization
Me - 'Time to get some writing done.'
Writing - 'Can't we do it later?'
Me - 'We've procrastinated long enough. Come on - let's get going.'
Writing - 'Isn't there a Forensic Files marathon on?'
Me - 'That can wait.'
Writing - 'You haven't checked out YouTube for a few hours. What about that?'
Me - 'Stop it. Get over here.'
Writing - 'What about email? Facebook? Twitter? When was the last time you jerked off?'
Me - 'Now that was uncalled for.'
Writing - 'But it's so hard to get me started.'
Me - 'But remember how good it feels once I do get you started?'
Writing - 'We're still talking about writing, right?'
Me - 'Get off your ass! Now!'
Writing - 'Settle down. Geez.'
Me - 'I'm waiting.'
Writing - 'You know I can block you if I want.'
Me - 'Not today you won't.'
Writing - 'Wanna bet?'
Me and Writing lunge at each other and grapple on the floor.
Me - 'I'll rip out your adjectives!'
Writing - 'You don't have the chops.'
Me - 'Stop struggling!'
Writing - 'You're the one struggling.'
Writing kicks Me in the nuts, and Me strikes back at Writing's run-ons. Writing writhes on the paper as Me takes a huge bite out of Writing. Writing bleeds unnecessary dialog all over.
Writing - 'Okay - okay...I give. I give.'
Me and Writing calm down. Me and Writing reluctantly start working together - slowly at first, then faster and faster. Writing and Me soon remember why they are together. They work for hours. Finally, spent and exhausted, they call it a day. They stare at each other wistfully. Finally, Me looks away, embarassed.
Me - 'I'm sorry for that whole biting thing.'
Writing starts to walk away, then looks back over its shoulder.
Writing - 'That's okay. I'm screwing your wife.'
Me - 'What?'
Writing - 'Never mind.'
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The Sucking Suckathon of Suckiness - Monday, May 21, 2012
Mississippi Pearls and a Car Biding Its Time on the Ice 'til Spring - Thursday, December 29, 2011
One Decade, One Story - or how One Thing Leads to Another - Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Racing Minnesota-style! - Wednesday, December 28, 2011
This Here Minnesota Horror Author was a Big Old Scaredy-Cat - Thursday, December 22, 2011
Jack the Blob Killer - Monday, December 19, 2011
Death Rhythm - Tuesday, September 20, 2011
More Writing What You Know - Monday, September 19, 2011
How I Interpret 'Write What You Know' - Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Blessings - or - What I write after having one too many... - Wednesday, August 03, 2011
120 Miles in a Canoe - Monday, June 27, 2011
On Stephen King - Thursday, June 23, 2011
Why Horror? - Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Zen & the Art of Swearing - Friday, June 10, 2011
If Coffee Shops were Run by Airlines - Thursday, May 12, 2011
Trying to Figure Out What Scares Me - Monday, March 21, 2011
My Confession - Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Going Indie with my novel Northwoods Deep - Friday, March 04, 2011
How I Envision Conflict When Writing - Thursday, March 03, 2011
Wall Drug - why it's one of my favorite places - Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Jonesing for a Road Trip - Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Snowmapocalyptopalooza - Tuesday, February 01, 2011
How Do You Remember? - Thursday, January 20, 2011
When your parents are librarians... - Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The genesis of a novel - the first 6 days - Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Searching for Truth - Characterization - Thursday, December 16, 2010
Control - and a little more about Northwoods Deep - Monday, December 13, 2010
Bukowski - Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Flies, Flies, Spam, and Flies - Friday, December 03, 2010
Naivete and the Young Writer - Thursday, December 02, 2010
For Writers looking for some Adventure - Wednesday, December 01, 2010
My usual rider for family/friend appearances - Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Writing and Me - a dramatization - Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Writing Tip o' the Day (now with vitamin C!) - Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Power of Music - Tuesday, November 16, 2010
To All the Bookstores I've Loved Before - Monday, November 15, 2010
The Care and Feeding of Writers - Sunday, November 14, 2010
Rudiments - Thursday, November 11, 2010
Writing Tip o' the Day - Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tragedy - now with 50% more pathos! - Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Perspective - Monday, November 08, 2010
The Daunting Dauntiness of Tweeting on Twitter - Saturday, November 06, 2010