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Joel Arnold

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Member Since: May, 2010

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A Long, Dangerous Coastline
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Blogs by Joel Arnold

Writing and Me - a dramatization
11/17/2010 6:18:32 AM    [ Flag as Spam or Inappropriate ]

Writing & Me - a dramatization

Me - 'Time to get some writing done.'

Writing - 'Can't we do it later?'

Me - 'We've procrastinated long enough. Come on - let's get going.'

Writing - 'Isn't there a Forensic Files marathon on?'

Me - 'That can wait.'

Writing - 'You haven't checked out YouTube for a few hours. What about that?'

Me - 'Stop it. Get over here.'

Writing - 'What about email? Facebook? Twitter? When was the last time you jerked off?'

Me - 'Now that was uncalled for.'

Writing - 'But it's so hard to get me started.'

Me - 'But remember how good it feels once I do get you started?'

Writing - 'We're still talking about writing, right?'

Me - 'Get off your ass! Now!'

Writing - 'Settle down. Geez.'

Me - 'I'm waiting.'

Writing - 'You know I can block you if I want.'

Me - 'Not today you won't.'

Writing - 'Wanna bet?'

Me and Writing lunge at each other and grapple on the floor.

Me - 'I'll rip out your adjectives!'

Writing - 'You don't have the chops.'

Me - 'Stop struggling!'

Writing - 'You're the one struggling.'

Writing kicks Me in the nuts, and Me strikes back at Writing's run-ons. Writing writhes on the paper as Me takes a huge bite out of Writing. Writing bleeds unnecessary dialog all over.

Writing - 'Okay - okay...I give. I give.'

Me and Writing calm down. Me and Writing reluctantly start working together - slowly at first, then faster and faster. Writing and Me soon remember why they are together. They work for hours. Finally, spent and exhausted, they call it a day. They stare at each other wistfully. Finally, Me looks away, embarassed.

Me - 'I'm sorry for that whole biting thing.'

Writing starts to walk away, then looks back over its shoulder.

Writing - 'That's okay. I'm screwing your wife.'

Me - 'What?'

Writing - 'Never mind.'

End


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More Blogs by Joel Arnold
• The Sucking Suckathon of Suckiness - Monday, May 21, 2012
• Mississippi Pearls and a Car Biding Its Time on the Ice 'til Spring - Thursday, December 29, 2011
• One Decade, One Story - or how One Thing Leads to Another - Wednesday, December 28, 2011
• Racing Minnesota-style! - Wednesday, December 28, 2011
• This Here Minnesota Horror Author was a Big Old Scaredy-Cat - Thursday, December 22, 2011
• Jack the Blob Killer - Monday, December 19, 2011
• Death Rhythm - Tuesday, September 20, 2011
• More Writing What You Know - Monday, September 19, 2011
• How I Interpret 'Write What You Know' - Wednesday, August 03, 2011
• Blessings - or - What I write after having one too many... - Wednesday, August 03, 2011
• 120 Miles in a Canoe - Monday, June 27, 2011
• On Stephen King - Thursday, June 23, 2011
• Why Horror? - Wednesday, June 22, 2011
• Zen & the Art of Swearing - Friday, June 10, 2011
• If Coffee Shops were Run by Airlines - Thursday, May 12, 2011
• Trying to Figure Out What Scares Me - Monday, March 21, 2011
• My Confession - Tuesday, March 08, 2011
• Going Indie with my novel Northwoods Deep - Friday, March 04, 2011
• How I Envision Conflict When Writing - Thursday, March 03, 2011
• Wall Drug - why it's one of my favorite places - Wednesday, February 02, 2011
• Jonesing for a Road Trip - Wednesday, February 02, 2011
• Snowmapocalyptopalooza - Tuesday, February 01, 2011
• How Do You Remember? - Thursday, January 20, 2011
• When your parents are librarians... - Tuesday, January 18, 2011
• The genesis of a novel - the first 6 days - Tuesday, January 04, 2011
• Searching for Truth - Characterization - Thursday, December 16, 2010
• Control - and a little more about Northwoods Deep - Monday, December 13, 2010
• Bukowski - Wednesday, December 08, 2010
• Flies, Flies, Spam, and Flies - Friday, December 03, 2010
• Naivete and the Young Writer - Thursday, December 02, 2010
• For Writers looking for some Adventure - Wednesday, December 01, 2010
• My usual rider for family/friend appearances - Tuesday, November 23, 2010
•  Writing and Me - a dramatization - Wednesday, November 17, 2010  
• Writing Tip o' the Day (now with vitamin C!) - Tuesday, November 16, 2010
• The Power of Music - Tuesday, November 16, 2010
• To All the Bookstores I've Loved Before - Monday, November 15, 2010
• The Care and Feeding of Writers - Sunday, November 14, 2010
• Rudiments - Thursday, November 11, 2010
• Writing Tip o' the Day - Wednesday, November 10, 2010
• Tragedy - now with 50% more pathos! - Tuesday, November 09, 2010
• Perspective - Monday, November 08, 2010
• The Daunting Dauntiness of Tweeting on Twitter - Saturday, November 06, 2010


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