Blogs by John H Bidwell
The Horrible Timing of my Own Death.
1/19/2010 7:50:18 PM
The Horrible Timing of my Own Death.
It is certainly best not to give a lot of attention to the timing of our own death. It is best not to know a thing about it if we can help it. But I will not be so lucky. Whatever else may be said about my death, I will always know that the timing absolutely sucked. I am sorry; there is no other word for it. The timing of my death will have sucked due to missed opportunities. I canít escape that.
Through the late 1980s and most of the 1990s I was the assistant administrator of the NJ Firemenís Home. I was also on the local fire department. Now this is the honest truth. If I had died at that time- the state wide members of the NJ State Firemenís Association, members of the Board of Managers of the NJ Firemenís Home from every county in the state, all would have attended my funeral. My casket would have rested in the bed of a pumper from Fire District #4. There would have been a procession through the town in my honor. Donations would have been received, plaques put up at the Home and in the firehouse. But did I die then? No. I absolutely could not have missed a better opportunity. I would never have been divorced. Believe me; it is difficult to live with knowing about this missed opportunity to die.
But that is not all. It is as if life set me up once again. I got a second chance few ever get to really die right. I became the manager of a Convent. I was given the most blessed opportunity imaginable to serve the order of Sisters who founded one of our best local hospitals. I became known in Rome. The Pope became a friend of a friend!
If I had died while I held that position- my funeral would have taken place in the great St. Francis Chapel attended by Sisters from all over the world who appreciated my service. The CEO of the hospital system and his staff would have been in attendance. Donations given, plaques put up in the Convent, the dedicated service of John Bidwell in brass. But did I die then? No.
I didnít die, but the Sisters did. One by one their numbers dropped, and people pretty much understand becoming a nun has gone out of fashion. It was not possible to sustain my position. If I am to serve the Sisters, there has to be Sisters.
So now, sure Iím thankful to be employed. Iím popular enough and not about popularity anyway. But if I die now, the crowd can arrive in a VW Beetle.
Actually, if I die now I think the folks around me will have to call the town recycling center to schedule a pick up.
I guess it shouldnít make any difference since I would not have been around to enjoy my great funerals that might have been. This will only bother me until I die.
John H. Bidwell
More Blogs by John H Bidwell
Betrayal - Saturday, April 16, 2011
Lent - Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Burning Question - Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Wonder Of It All - Monday, March 14, 2011
The Truly Poor - Sunday, March 13, 2011
Eye contact - Friday, March 04, 2011
Language barrier - Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Pregnant pause. - Saturday, February 05, 2011
Edited blog - Friday, January 28, 2011
The True Nature of Dreams Explained. - Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Guys Lose - Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Observance Of Easter - Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Nobody Cares - Friday, March 19, 2010
Longevity - Monday, February 08, 2010
How To Start A Donnybrook - Thursday, February 04, 2010
Halfway, No More - Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Pitfall - Monday, January 25, 2010
Judgment - Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Horrible Timing of my Own Death. - Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Of Time Beyond - Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I Loved A Lesbian - Sunday, December 20, 2009
Men & Women - Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sign on the tree - Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Prejudice - Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Astronomical mistakes - Wednesday, March 21, 2007
February 22 - Thursday, February 22, 2007
Flushed Out - Friday, February 16, 2007
My dog Lucky - Friday, October 20, 2006
Playing God - Friday, September 08, 2006
Signs - Monday, April 11, 2005
T Rex - Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Mind wanders. - Friday, February 25, 2005
Hi tech scale: - Tuesday, February 08, 2005