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Blogs by Robert S Cosmar
Nostalgia of Living
5/22/2011 12:27:16 PM
AWARENESS
I am 59 years old and, over the past few years, I have looked into the past and reminisced over times, events and special memories of the years I have lived. I especially enjoy going to YouTube and seeing the 60's artists still singing their tunes from that time. It is both magical and sad all at once. I am amazed at how those songs still ring deeply inside me and can arouse emotions and memories long buried. It is fun to watch the audience as they smile and recall their own memories, heartbreaks and feelings.
I am also reminded that while it is good to relive the past, it is not good to be stuck there. Many people stay stuck in the past and never live a full life in the NOW. They have lived a long life and made choices in most cases that were unconscious. Time takes its toll on us mentally, emotionally and especially physically. Escaping to the past or an addiction into the future seem like common ways to avoid the question, "What about NOW?" Death speaks louder with every friend or associate who leaves us, reminding us we are mortal and time is not our ally.
The years fly by and we sense an end is coming. All that we held familiar is slowly slipping from the hands of our consciousness. How amazing life has been; how magical the moments we've shared and experienced. Do we have to leave this someday? Is this the whisper we hear within?
The answer comes, "All that you have known and experienced of your special time here is going. Do you want to stay behind when all that you've experienced and known passes you by and dissolves into eternity to never be experienced again?" This is when I realized that life is unique and our times are special and custom made for us alone. Never again will there be a time like I experienced -- it was MY time and My life -- custom-made and designed for me alone to share with a special group of others that I feel a connection to.
Generations come and go and it feels like they all have a separation of thoughts, feelings and beliefs. The stage is the same, but the play is different. Life is a revolving door or a circular revolving stage where several plays are presented. Each is a play, but they all cover different topics. I feel that our lives are very personal and an intimacy exists with each generation for the time they live. The issues, topics and experiences are all very personal to each generation.
With old age, it is easy to become depressed and disillusioned as we see opportunity and experiences slip away. Life as we see and experience it is for the young, those with the power to earn and those with enough energy to accomplish it. For the old, there's the past to remember and the mystery of death to make peace with.
I hope as the years go by and I see my body loose its appeal and my hair falls out completely that I will never lose the awe and wonder of my heart. i hope I can still write poetry, share insights from my soul and continue to marvel at and enjoy the love of my mate. I have made a pact with the universe to meet it half way and share my thoughts, feelings and insights from them. To do that I can't stay in the past or live in hope of some imaginary future. It is NOW, inside me, in my heart that I am aware that love is forever. Love never dies.
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