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Blogs by Todd Cheney
Impromptu Review of The Drawing of the Three
10/29/2004 12:25:43 PM
A Stephen King title originally published in the late '80s. The second book in the Dark Tower series. (Didn't read the first, and don't plan on it!)
By now, everyone must have heard at least one of their English teachers lament, "If only I could be as lucky as Stephen King!" (Meaning to say, "If only I could be as rich as Stephen King.")
Now, for the first time ever, I have been propelled into more and more interest of the enigma that is stardom and celebrity. In other words, what makes all these people so great anyway?
Spurred on by my curiosity (and the fact that my mother received this book literally for free, and the publicity surrounding the finishing of the Dark Tower series)I decided to take the plunge and read another Stephen King title. Still in recovery from the disappointment that was Dreamcatcher (but yet somewhat grateful for the very useful, practical self examination of On Writing) I was nonetheless excited to begin The Drawing of... (man, that's a long title. Henceforth, I shall refer to it only as Drawing.)
I plowed voraciously through the first hundred or so pages, but unfortunately, I hit a snag around page 150 or so. A paragraph that's four pages long! Thank God I didn't actually pay for this book, that it's free and that no one is requiring me to read it. It's amazing the kind of egotistical malarchy that a celebrity can push on you when he or she is 'on fire,' as I'm sure King must have thought he was back in '87.
But from a standpoint of story, I wasn't ready to accept a four-page paragraph (and still am not). A significant portion of this paragraph (that deals with split-personality, legless Detta Walker) is crammed into one sentence that goes on FOREVER without a period. I looked ahead and found the end, picked up where the real story left off (before it turned into diarrhea of the mouth), and started reading again without missing a thing. (That paragraph was boring me to tears anyway.)
Discouraged by the extra long showiness reflected by something as absurd as a paragraph that runs more than, say, 800 words (about two pages in a mass market paperback, but still 800 is really pushing it), I put the book down for the next month and a half, hoping I would find something better to do.
Failing that, I picked it up again, and am still trying to finish. But, Jesus Christ on a popsicle stick, how many lobsters are there on that beach anyway? And why did King have to make the one black person in the book a schizoid, cartoonish freak?
Get real, and skip Drawing. Skip the whole Dark Tower, if you can.
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