AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
USA Independence Day
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Tony Bertot, iPinckney Rivers, iOdin Roark, iBonnie Milani, iRosemarie Skaine, iHarry and Elizabeth Lawrence, iRhoberta Shaler, i

  Home > Blogs Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Linda Lange

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 2 Titles
· 1 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: May, 2012

Linda Lange, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Books by Linda Lange




Blogs by Linda Lange

SECONDHAND SMOKE
7/7/2012 12:10:30 PM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

A subject close to my ... lungs.

Talk about a milestone! On July 10, my husband says, he will smoke his pipe for the last time. And for the first time in almost 65 years, I will live in a smoke-free house.

Scott smoked cigarettes when I met him. I didn’t think much about it. After all, in the 1960s, smoking was considered “cool.” In the mid-'70s he switched to a pipe. We’d heard the cancer warnings by then, and the pipe was said to be safer, because the smoker didn’t inhale.

Safer for him, maybe. The American Cancer Society hadn’t told us yet that secondhand smoke causes 46,000 deaths from heart disease and 3,400 from lung cancer annually.

 

Okay for Sherlock Holmes, maybe ...

Recently Scott’s dentist spotted a lesion (leukoplakia, termed precancerous) in his mouth, right where the pipe stem rests. He was ordered to stop smoking, and he’s been tapering off for several months. July 10 is his birthday, and he’ll treat himself to one last pipe before quitting forever.

I never wanted to smoke. I saw the bad side from the start. My parents smoked constantly. As a toddler I got burned by adults who carelessly held cigarettes at my level. My eyes swelled and stung in a smoky car. And I know smoking shortened my parents’ lives. Mom, in particular, couldn’t break the habit even after a debilitating stroke in her fifties. It was pathetic to see her try to light cigarettes with fingers that didn’t work anymore.

I observed to Scott that if he quit, the house would stay cleaner. “You’re right,” he agreed. “The windows in my office always have white film on them.”

“Your lungs probably do, too,” I replied.

“Oh, no,” he reminded me. “Pipe smokers don’t inhale.” Neither do windows, honey.

It always bothered me that if strangers asked Scott to put out his pipe because the smoke bothered them, he would always acquiesce politely, but he’d never do it for me. The situation escalated until it pushed me into song parody.

I’m breathing secondhand smoke,
Secondhand smoke.
Can’t get away from secondhand smoke.
Everywhere I go somebody’s puffing.
All that air pollution leaves me huffing.
Cough, croak, and choke.
It’s not a joke.
I never get to draw a breath that’s free.
Even Jake, my lover, he’s a total disgrace.
When we’re done, he lights up and blows smoke in my face …

(To set the record straight, I don’t have a lover named Jake. It’s a riff on “Jake the plumber” in the original song, which of course is Secondhand Rose, written by Grant Clarke and James F. Hanley for the Ziegfeld Follies of 1921 and popularized by Fanny Brice and Barbra Streisand.)

But those days are over. Scott’s going to get rid of his pipes and tobacco so he won’t be tempted. We can’t lose the ashtrays, though. Our son may be coming home for the holidays. Oh yeah, despite all my rhetoric, that’s our son at left.

Maybe I’ll make him stay in a hotel.



Post a Comment

More Blogs by Linda Lange
• HALLOWEEN AS IT USED TO BE - Tuesday, October 29, 2013
• IT'S HER BODY, BUT ... - Tuesday, October 22, 2013
• ARE OLD LADIES CUTE? - Tuesday, October 01, 2013
• NONE OF MY BUSINESS - Tuesday, September 24, 2013
• TOM BROWNING SAVED MY LIFE - Tuesday, September 10, 2013
• SOCIAL SECURITY? ME? - Saturday, August 17, 2013
• THE TOUGHEST LOVE - Saturday, July 27, 2013
• GET OVER IT? - Wednesday, July 17, 2013
• EULOGY FOR A SUPPER CLUB - Tuesday, July 02, 2013
• I DON'T LIKE TO SEE MY HEROES HURTING - Sunday, June 23, 2013
• MEMORIES IN A BOTTLE - Sunday, June 09, 2013
• CULTURE SHOCK IN A '13 CIVIC - Saturday, May 25, 2013
• BAMBI GO HOME - Saturday, May 04, 2013
• WHAT FAMILY DOES - Monday, April 29, 2013
• THE TALK - Tuesday, April 09, 2013
• I SAID "NO"! - Tuesday, April 02, 2013
• BOOMER LIT - Tuesday, March 05, 2013
• A PIECE OF MY LIFE, ON STAGE - Sunday, February 24, 2013
• I MISS NEWSPAPERS! - Tuesday, February 12, 2013
• SOMETHING TO HOLD ONTO - Tuesday, February 05, 2013
• SNOW DAY - Sunday, January 27, 2013
• KAEPERNICKING, OR YOU GOTTA HAVE A GIMMICK - Thursday, January 17, 2013
• STILL SO INTO THIS - Monday, January 14, 2013
• A NEW START FOR LILY AND ELLIE - Sunday, January 06, 2013
• REFLECTING ON MY 2012 - Monday, December 31, 2012
• HONEY, HAVE THE STEINBERGS PUT UP THEIR LIGHTS? - Thursday, December 20, 2012
• REQUIEM FOR TWO SPORTS BARS - Saturday, December 08, 2012
• THE YEAR WE WERE REALLY THANKFUL - Tuesday, November 20, 2012
• MY CREATIVE FOUNTAIN IS A CHLORINATED POOL - Sunday, November 18, 2012
• CIVIC DUTY? - Monday, November 05, 2012
• FOOTBALL FASHION - Monday, October 29, 2012
• GREEN TOMATOES - Sunday, October 21, 2012
• THIS BIG ONE DOESN'T NECESSARILY BITE - Sunday, October 14, 2012
• THE KNEECAP - Saturday, October 06, 2012
• THE ROAD NOT TAKEN - Sunday, September 23, 2012
• EDUCATION OF A NEWBIE AUTHOR: LUNCHEON SPEAKER - Sunday, September 16, 2012
• A QUIET DINNER - Saturday, September 08, 2012
• BATIK AND OLIVER COME HOME - Sunday, September 02, 2012
• ARTSTREET AND HOMETOWN PRIDE - Thursday, August 30, 2012
• OF FOOD, AND LOVE, AND LOVING FOOD - Sunday, August 19, 2012
• NEW BABY/NO PETS? - Sunday, August 05, 2012
• I HOPE I'LL KNOW - Sunday, July 29, 2012
• CONFESSIONS OF AN INTERNET JUNKIE - Sunday, July 15, 2012
•  SECONDHAND SMOKE - Saturday, July 07, 2012  
• BAY BEACH MEMORIES - Monday, July 02, 2012
• HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, TITLE IX! - Sunday, June 24, 2012
• THE CHAPTER MY HUSBAND MUSTN'T READ - Sunday, June 17, 2012
• JUNE, MOON, BRIDES AND ALL THAT - Sunday, June 03, 2012
• JESSE WHITTENTON RODE IN MY CAR - Thursday, May 24, 2012
• THE PACKERS HERITAGE TRAIL AND ME - Sunday, May 20, 2012
• THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO DO - Monday, May 14, 2012


See Bride Run! by Charlotte Hughes

Can rich girl Annie find happiness living in a garage apartment, wearing second-hand clothes, and making her way around town on a borrowed bicycle? As for Sam, can he put his past ..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.