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Rebecca J Burns

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Blogs by Rebecca J Burns

To blog or not to blog, that is the question
3/27/2006 7:31:50 PM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

Why do we need to share our thoughts and feelings?
Is it to feel connected, accepted or heard?

What need is it that I am trying to fill by having others read my thoughts? Is it to feel connected, accepted or heard? I would say all of the above but heard strikes a cord tonight. I was sharing with a group of M&M Friends, (you know who you are) tonight about the topic of a book I am writing, a very passionate book titled, "The Last Straw,Ē the answer to why didnít you just leave? (Explaining the unexplainable to others as to why you stayed in an abusive relationship) when tears began to well up. Thank God, we were on the phone and they could not see the woman who tries so hard to be pulled together and full of grace, began to cry. The subject was quickly changed so that I could recover.

I was not about to cry out of sadness for myself tonight, most of that sadness has been dealt with and in is the past (except for the occasional night terror or flashback) where it belongs. I honestly felt the tears well up inside of me for the woman who does not feel connected, accepted of heard! I cry for her, I feel for her, I want to help her and sometimes I don't know how.

Then I go to bed and have my nightly chat with my God and remember how to help. Then I wake up, work hard, love my son and appreciate my life and where I am now and especially how far I have come. I appreciate that I finally feel connected, I finally feel accepted and that I finally feel heard. Most of all I appreciate that I finally feel safe. Safe from a life that was and never, ever should have been real. I am finally safe from a man, but the fear lingers when I am in that deep sleep, the one when you have no control over your dreams. The one where the man running out from the closet with the cleaver is real and when you scream and you have no voice, that is real too. I scream in the dream and nothing comes out, then I wake, shaking, wondering if he is in the room still. Then I sit for a few minutes and focus on the fact that I was dreaming and that the boogieman can't hurt me anymore. God took him, or maybe the other man did, I don't really care, I am just glad that he is gone.

I go to the bathroom and get a drink of water. I look in the mirror at the woman who has come so far but in her moments of weakness, when she falls asleep, feeling safe, yet she still canít seem to leave that house of horrors, the house she still lives in till this day.

It is not really that bad for when I am awake it feels like Disney land and I am the princess. I open all the shades, pour a cup of coffee and get to work. I feel blessed for each day I have to write my silly blog and share my thoughts and feelings with the unknown. I spent too many years unknown.

It is for the women that remain unknown that I write tonight and most nights.

There is a way out baby,
Follow me for I did it.
Just do what you momma taught you at two
Put one foot in front of the other...
Soon you'll be walking out that door, oor, oor...
You put one foot in front of the other and run off to a world thatís all your own!

Love & Peace,

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More Blogs by Rebecca J Burns
• Awaken The Author Within Free Calls - Monday, July 16, 2007
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• 120+ Free Motivational MP3 access - Wednesday, May 16, 2007
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• Motivational You Tube - Monday, March 05, 2007
• Secret Video Free seen Oprah - Friday, February 09, 2007
• Free Traffic, Free Keywords = New SE Portal - Sunday, January 21, 2007
• Free Use/Valentines Day Poem - suitable for framing - Saturday, January 20, 2007
• On My Watch Tonight - front lines - Wednesday, December 20, 2006
• Shameless Marketing - 1.00 trial - Tuesday, December 12, 2006
• No Cost Way To Promote Anything - Saturday, October 28, 2006
• Forceful Motivation - Monday, August 28, 2006
• Greiving through a letter to lost one - Tuesday, August 15, 2006
• Holocaust Rememberance Week - Saturday, August 12, 2006
• Angel you are missed - Friday, August 11, 2006
• More Free E-Books - Tuesday, July 18, 2006
• SELL MORE BOOKS WITH an E-ZINE! - Monday, July 03, 2006
• Random Poem - Wednesday, June 28, 2006
• New Blog that you can search - Saturday, June 24, 2006
• Heaven must have needed angels - Saturday, June 24, 2006
• Learned a lesson - Friday, June 23, 2006
• Day 5 of the 21-Day Challenge - Friday, June 23, 2006
• Freebies in July's Newsletter - Wednesday, June 21, 2006
• No Pain No Gain, No Gain, Lots of Pain - Wednesday, June 21, 2006
• Same Day, Same Story ...need Motivation - Tuesday, June 20, 2006
• 21 Day Challenge to change YOU! - Monday, June 19, 2006
• Many Thanks to Author's Den - Wednesday, June 07, 2006
• Letting my son grow to be a man - Friday, June 02, 2006
• Loved this Quote - Wednesday, May 24, 2006
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• Author's Den Friend Book Out!! - Monday, May 22, 2006
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• It Rains, it Pours and sometimes a little joy! - Tuesday, May 16, 2006
• When Doing Nothing Doesn't Work - Friday, May 12, 2006
• Make money with your Blog! - Wednesday, May 10, 2006
• Deadlines, Deadlines slipping away - Saturday, May 06, 2006
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• Great Note Tracking system - Monday, April 24, 2006
• The painful habit of picking your fingers raw - Friday, April 21, 2006
• What are you tolerating? - Thursday, April 20, 2006
• Walking in another's shoes - Monday, April 17, 2006
• Is it Fear or Excitement? - Monday, April 03, 2006
• I Scream, Just Scream - Monday, March 27, 2006
•  To blog or not to blog, that is the question - Monday, March 27, 2006  
• Random Poem - as the juices flow - Friday, March 24, 2006
• Free Article - Struggling to Hang on to the Doorknob - Thursday, March 23, 2006
• PMD - Thursday, March 23, 2006
• My life without motivation is like....sleep - Thursday, December 29, 2005
• Walking on eggshells, living in her hell... - Tuesday, October 18, 2005
• Heaven must have needed an Angel - Monday, August 29, 2005
• Grand Opening Dream Focused Inc - Wednesday, May 18, 2005
• It was His Suicide, Not Mine! - Thursday, May 12, 2005
• A daily dose of motivation - Thursday, April 21, 2005
• Brocken Hearted Baby - Wednesday, April 20, 2005
• Forgiveness or loss, your choice - Friday, April 15, 2005
• First Poetry Book Coming Soon! - Monday, April 04, 2005
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• How Many Times Must a Child Fall Down? - Monday, March 21, 2005
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• To Blog or not to Blog - Friday, March 18, 2005

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