|
|
|
|
Blogs by Sandy Knauer
Happy Father's Day For Me
6/17/2006 5:50:28 PM
I breezed past the card aisles and stores this year without feeling the pull. My father, grandfathers, and the uncles and friends who were like fathers to me are all gone. My daughters are adults and on their own, at least as far as greeting cards are concerned. Finally, I don’t need to find the perfect verse on a card that my father will never see, the way I did for years after his death.
This year, free of traditions and obligations, my Father’s Day gift is to me. I will wrap myself in appreciation, tie on streamers of love, and slip into memories of the men who have given me the gift of life - my father and the fathers of my children and grandchildren. I am forever grateful to these men for the greatest moments in my life, and for contributing to who I am and how I remember life.
I will condense the tomes my father deserves into a few sentences. In the thirty-five years I shared with this man, I never saw him lose his temper, turn his back on a person in need, deliver less than anyone deserved, take advantage of a person or circumstance, embarrass, shame or disappoint anyone, or expect anything. Those who knew him, and many who didn’t, admired and respected him. He left this world a better place than he found it, and I feel his presence in the goodness I see around me.
My first husband was like my father, and our daughter fortunate to have lived with their combined influence the first fourteen years of her life. Although this man had never held an infant before her, he jumped into his role with confidence and skill. He spoke her name the first time she heard it, gave her the funny middle name, fed her the first bottle, changed the first diaper, gave her the first bath, dressed her in the first non-hospital-issued outfit, and placed her in her own bed for the first time. He did the middle of the night feedings, cared for her while I worked, laughed with her, taught her, and adored her. He did what every father should do.
Since I am gifting myself, I will remember how far beyond he went for her, by what he did for me. He let me go without destroying her family. Divorce meant he didn’t sleep at our house. He, or his next girlfriend, was still there to get my daughter off the school bus and stay with her until I came in from work. He still came by to visit, take us to dinner, and help with homework. He made sure we had what we needed, physically and emotionally. He attended family functions and spent holidays with us. He invited me to his soccer games and parties, and included me when his family came to visit.
When he moved across country, he returned for holidays, called every night to see how his daughter’s day had gone and ask if she needed anything. He was a phone call or plane ride away in every decision we needed to make concerning our daughter. Our photo albums contain pictures of our daughter with her parents and their new spouses, all celebrating her life together.
The greatest gift to both of us was the love and respect he continued to show for me. I believe children learn to respect their parents by watching how they treat one another. My daughter didn’t have to choose between parents, divide loyalties, or doubt that her parents loved each other. Respect came easy for her.
The second husband accepted the first, loved his daughter, and welcomed him into the lives of the daughter he already had and the one we had later. He also did the normal things - diapers, baths, cared for our daughters while I worked, was room-father at school, and shared his knowledge and talent – but his term ended too soon. He died shortly after our daughter’s sixth birthday. The first husband stepped in to fill as much of that void as he could.
The first daughter has married a man who treats their children the way my father and her father treated us. I can’t think of a luckier woman than I have been. It is a Happy Father’s Day for me.
Post a Comment new!
More Blogs by Sandy Knauer
• No Resolutions Here - Friday, January 04, 2008
• Link to flagged article - Thursday, March 15, 2007
• God Does Make Garbage - And Other Annoying News - Friday, February 09, 2007
• Action Alert: AFA at it again - Wednesday, January 24, 2007
• Kid-free Zone - Sunday, December 10, 2006
• He Deserves Better - Saturday, September 30, 2006
• Glasses or Stage? - Wednesday, August 16, 2006
• A Walk With My Real Mother - Friday, August 11, 2006
• Al Gore and My High School Reunion - Thursday, July 06, 2006
• Damn You - Sunday, July 02, 2006
• And Not So Great First Dates - Sunday, June 25, 2006
• Great Dates - Sunday, June 25, 2006
• Happy Father's Day For Me - Saturday, June 17, 2006
• We Don't Share Crayons - Friday, June 16, 2006
• Roly-poly Slobber - Monday, June 12, 2006
• John Wayne and Elvis Were Full of Shit and You Probably Are Too - Monday, June 05, 2006
• Ignorance Is Bliss - Monday, May 29, 2006
• Let It Be - Thursday, April 27, 2006
• Can We Leave Justice to the Luck of the Draw? - Friday, April 14, 2006
• Gospel of Judas - Thursday, April 06, 2006
• Healthcare Costs – How We Turn Molehills into Mountains - Tuesday, March 28, 2006
• Feather Light - Monday, March 20, 2006
• Dissecting Charity - Saturday, March 11, 2006
• Sublime Abandon - Monday, March 06, 2006
• Behind the Headlines - Saturday, March 04, 2006
• Define Education - Saturday, March 04, 2006
• My American Idol Pick - Wednesday, March 01, 2006
• Tepid Judgment - Tuesday, February 28, 2006
• Purpose - Thursday, February 23, 2006
• HUH? - Tuesday, February 21, 2006
• Coddled Insanity - Sunday, February 19, 2006
• Ooops, My Bad - Thursday, February 16, 2006
• I Don't Need A Wife - Monday, February 13, 2006
• Fuzzy Edges - Monday, February 13, 2006
• Who's Reading - Sunday, February 05, 2006
• Patriotism Without Compassion - Friday, February 03, 2006
• Is Literary a Dirty Word - Friday, February 03, 2006
• Bottled Promises - Wednesday, February 01, 2006
• All The Lies - Tuesday, January 31, 2006
• Suspended In Time - Monday, January 30, 2006
• Plea to Democratic Party - Tuesday, January 24, 2006
• correction - Friday, January 13, 2006
• Alito's Sideshow and Abortion Soapbox - Wednesday, January 11, 2006
• Hard To Swallow Those Extra Words - Friday, January 06, 2006
• While You Were Sleeping - Monday, December 19, 2005
• Where Do Angels Hide - Tuesday, December 06, 2005
• Bob's Dinner - Sunday, November 13, 2005
• There, But For The Grace of God - Tuesday, November 08, 2005
• Delay Precedent - Friday, November 04, 2005
• Forget Stupid Apologies - Wednesday, November 02, 2005
• Once Upon Another Time - Thursday, September 22, 2005
• Remember Him When - Wednesday, September 21, 2005
• Somewhere In The Middle - Tuesday, September 20, 2005
• I Can't - Monday, September 19, 2005
• Twister Anyone? - Thursday, September 08, 2005
• Application Denied - Wednesday, September 07, 2005
• Timeline - Monday, September 05, 2005
• What Time Is It - Saturday, September 03, 2005
• My Hundred Thirty-Two Pounds Worth On Dating - Wednesday, August 24, 2005
• Across The Board - Thursday, August 11, 2005
• A Day For News - Thursday, August 04, 2005
• War On Sex - Tuesday, July 19, 2005
• Warning: This News Contains Mixed Messages That May Be Hazardous To Your Mental Health - Friday, July 15, 2005
• Action alerts - Thursday, July 14, 2005
• Ten Rules of Conduct - Monday, June 27, 2005
• What Exactly Is a Quagmire? - Thursday, June 23, 2005
• Who Are You? - Sunday, June 19, 2005
• What right does Wendy Wright - Saturday, June 04, 2005
• Huh? - Thursday, June 02, 2005
• Bush honors war dead? - Tuesday, May 31, 2005
• Bras and Burqas - Tuesday, May 31, 2005
• Huh? - Saturday, May 28, 2005
• I Feel - Saturday, April 30, 2005
• Good Kids Don't Steal or Lie - Wednesday, April 27, 2005
• Dead Wrong - Thursday, March 31, 2005
• Speaking of starvation . . . - Thursday, March 31, 2005
• Some Interesting Misconceptions - Saturday, March 26, 2005
• Who gave Donald Iarussi permission to speak for Democrats? - Monday, March 21, 2005
• we must always err on the side of life" - Monday, March 21, 2005
• Did the Punishment Fit the Crime? - Saturday, March 19, 2005
• Open Letter To the FOP - Sunday, March 13, 2005
• Land of the Rich and Silent War - Tuesday, March 08, 2005
• Another question - Sunday, March 06, 2005
• AD Messages - Wednesday, March 02, 2005
• Breakfast, Soda Machines and Cigarettes - Thursday, February 24, 2005
• A few questions about Social Security - Friday, February 11, 2005
• Here's the Beef - Wednesday, February 09, 2005
• More supporting the troops? - Monday, February 07, 2005
• Action links - Monday, February 07, 2005
• Support the Troops?? - Monday, February 07, 2005
• Was It Really About Morals? - Sunday, February 06, 2005
• Lori - Sunday, February 06, 2005
• You Will Have A Concrete Garage - Saturday, February 05, 2005
• Clarence’s Appendix - Saturday, February 05, 2005
• Return To Yesterday - Saturday, February 05, 2005
• William J. Neven - Friday, January 21, 2005
• Opportunity? - Wednesday, January 19, 2005
• They have "earned the RIGHT" to kidnap?? - Thursday, January 13, 2005
• Strawberry Lane - Sunday, January 09, 2005
• Get out?? - Saturday, January 08, 2005
• Got an extra $25,000 ?? - Wednesday, January 05, 2005
• Good question L.R. Farley - Tuesday, January 04, 2005
• Generous? - Wednesday, December 29, 2004
• eeek! - Sunday, December 26, 2004
• 16 or 18 districts registered - Sunday, December 26, 2004
• Eye-opening article - Thursday, December 23, 2004
• Today's Questions - Thursday, December 23, 2004
• More questions... - Wednesday, December 22, 2004
• One more down... - Monday, December 20, 2004
• Confused again - Monday, December 20, 2004
• Wishful Writing - Monday, December 13, 2004
• Uncle Charles Hates Towel Heads and Queers - Sunday, December 05, 2004
• The Value of Diplomacy - Thursday, December 02, 2004
• Malnourishment doubles in Iraq - Thursday, November 25, 2004
• Hats Off To the Ukrainians - Thursday, November 25, 2004
• Next . . . - Wednesday, November 17, 2004
• Open Letter To Southeast Christian Church - Tuesday, November 16, 2004
• Rest In Peace - Sunday, November 14, 2004
• Value Oriented Heath Care - Thursday, November 11, 2004
• Focus: Fallujah - Tuesday, November 09, 2004
• Do Flowers Grow In Fallujah? - Tuesday, November 09, 2004
• Who Are They Hurting? - Sunday, November 07, 2004
• The Sorrow Runs Much Deeper - Saturday, November 06, 2004
• Morality? - Saturday, November 06, 2004
• Protect My Freedom - Wednesday, October 20, 2004
• Race For Terre Bluff - Monday, September 13, 2004
• The War On Truth - Sunday, August 15, 2004
• Did he really say that? - Thursday, August 12, 2004
• Did John Kerry vote for Bush's war in Iraq? - Thursday, August 05, 2004
• It's time to let the men do the shopping - Friday, July 30, 2004
• School Prayer - Friday, July 30, 2004
• God Love Her - Monday, July 05, 2004
• Prayer Requests - Tuesday, May 11, 2004
• For a good time, call Bill Chambers - Tuesday, March 16, 2004
• what's the issue? - Wednesday, February 11, 2004
• Principles above Popularity? - Thursday, January 29, 2004
• condescending arrogance - Saturday, January 24, 2004
• Electability? - Saturday, January 24, 2004
• Whining about Whiners?? - Thursday, January 08, 2004
• Choices - Friday, January 02, 2004
• Honest Poll? - Thursday, January 01, 2004
• Medicare/Social Security - Saturday, December 27, 2003
|
|
Bookmarks
