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S G Cardin

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Member Since: May, 2001

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Featured Book
The Second Predaxian War
by Karl Morgan

Book 2 in the Dave Brewster Series. The Predaxians have invaded Greater Gallia, and Dave and his friends must find new allies to push them back...  
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Books by
S G Cardin



Destination: Berlin

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The Wolf's Torment

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Across The Fickle Winds of History

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All That Remains

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Are Your Dirty Little Secrets

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Blogs by S G Cardin

Noticing Things as a Reader
7/12/2007 4:16:54 AM
I just wanted to drop a line about what I notice as a reader. I know they say to improve your writing skills, you should read from time to time and currently, I'm juggling two books, "Whitney, My Love," by Judith McNaught, and "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince," by JK Rowling. Here are some thoughts.

Over the course of the past couple of years, I'm encountered a "core set" of advice from editors that I've worked with - mostly with IUniverse editorial staff through their editoral evaluations.

#1 is - keep POV straight. Don't head hop within a scene. Don't start out in one character's POV and then switch to another by the end of the page. This is disconcerting for the reader. This is known as the "Lonesome Dove," POV since it was the POV used in the Lonesome Dove and that series was a big success. It's also cautioned against in the book, "Self Editing for Fiction Writers." Head hopping can confuse a reader.

Since my time is a little limited, I'll just stick with that point today.

Rowling, in HP6 basically used a third person omniscient with her Harry Potter series. The majority of the book is told through HP's view. He's mostly in every scene. Now in the beginning of HP6, There's a scene with Snape, Narcissa, and Bellatrix, that Harry isn't in. Mind you, for Rowling, this is RARE. But Rowling does keep the POV straight. She doesn't head hop, and by using an omniscient POV, there's very little tempation to cheat.

Needless to say, we all know how successful her series is.

Now McNaught has recieved praise and accolades in the Romance genre and "Whitney, My Love," was her first book. This book uses a "lonesome dove" perspective where you could have been in 3 character heads. This POV never bothered me before but now that I read it, do find it a little annoying. What takes away from the ANNOYING aspect of it, (and what I think makes McNaught as successful as she is) is that her balance of writing is just right. There's a wondeful balance of descriptions (not too much, not to little) and character emotions. Character voice is consistant. Sometimes she hits the reader a little over the head with her voice and her insistance, but the polish in the words is there.

Now, I did "The Wolf's Torment," using 3rd person, occasionally shifting scenes in a chapter, but basically shifting scenes with new chapters. I tried to keep one character POV in a scene or chapter. There's no "lonesome dov," perspective in it. I did it this way because after all my editorial guidance, I got the impression that is the more accepted way to do for readers.

My book, "Are Your Dirty Little Secrets," was in the "lonesome dove," perspective. It was a romance and recieved an editor's choice selection from IUniverse. Mind you, it's an earlier work and while I think it's as polished as McNaught's, I don't think I would have used "lonesome dove," had I been aware of it.

One thing I did realize while evaluating these written works: I think the Romance Genre is much more forgiving when an author uses a "lonesome dove," perspective. I see a lot of it. Even Kathy Love, a paranormal romance writer uses "lonesome dove" perspective.

Thoughts, comments, feedback welcome. I hate to cut this short, and so I'll be back in the future with more comments.



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More Blogs by S G Cardin
• Writing and Current Publishing Trends - Saturday, May 03, 2008
• Catching up - Thursday, April 10, 2008
• Agent Blogs & misc... - Friday, February 29, 2008
• Review for Destination:Berlin - Friday, February 08, 2008
• I Voted! - Wednesday, February 06, 2008
• Review sites for Indie authors - Thursday, November 29, 2007
• Life & Writing - Tuesday, November 27, 2007
• I'm so far behind...catching up - Saturday, November 17, 2007
• Internet Book Signing! - Monday, October 29, 2007
• Honorable Mention Winner 76th Writer's Digest Competition! - Friday, October 26, 2007
• Misc Stuff, Red Sox, fires & books - Monday, October 22, 2007
• Taking a Look at: The Rejector - Thursday, October 18, 2007
• Foreword/CLARION review for Destination:Berlin - Tuesday, October 16, 2007
• Taking a Look: Writer's Digest Online - Sunday, October 14, 2007
• Live interview for "The Wolf's Torment" w/Reader's Views - Saturday, October 13, 2007
• Official October 07 writing/poetry contest - Thursday, October 04, 2007
• Visit Reader's Views for my interview on The Wolf's Torment - Tuesday, October 02, 2007
• A look at: Reader's Views - Monday, October 01, 2007
• More random thoughts on self publishing & other stuff - Wednesday, September 19, 2007
• Character look at: Theresa von Kracken - Friday, September 14, 2007
• 9/11 - Tuesday, September 11, 2007
• Review for THE WOLF'S TORMENT from Reader Views - Friday, September 07, 2007
• National Be Kind to Writers & Editors month & a character profile - Tuesday, September 04, 2007
• Labor Day & work - Monday, September 03, 2007
• Princess Diana & A character look - Saturday, September 01, 2007
• Character look at: Mihai Sigmaringen - Monday, August 27, 2007
• Internet Marketing Tips & Interesting Characters - Sunday, August 26, 2007
• I just finished reading ''The Diana Chronicles'' - Saturday, August 25, 2007
• Destination: Berlin is avaliable through IUniverse! - Friday, August 24, 2007
• Romance Genre Writing Rules - Wednesday, August 08, 2007
• My recent experiences in novel writing - Monday, July 30, 2007
• Short Story Writing - Friday, July 27, 2007
• Harry Potter #7 Misc. Musings - Wednesday, July 25, 2007
• Thoughts on: Harry Potter, MWSA, and Judith McNaught's "Whitney, My Love" - Friday, July 20, 2007
• Overview of Traditional Publishing - Friday, July 13, 2007
•  Noticing Things as a Reader - Thursday, July 12, 2007  
• Self publishing with Lulu - Monday, July 09, 2007
• Feeding the Muse and doing the Housework - Saturday, July 07, 2007
• Pros and cons of Self-publishing - Monday, July 02, 2007
• An agent's thoughts on Self-publishing - Saturday, June 30, 2007
• It's been a long time... - Sunday, August 27, 2006
• Busy, Busy, Busy - Wednesday, September 07, 2005
• Just wanted to say "Thank you..." - Sunday, July 31, 2005


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