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William F DeVault

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Blogs by William F DeVault

anecdotal evidence
5/5/2005 6:59:00 AM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

I have a friend. She's not local, but she's a friend because she hasn't stabbed me in the back yet (my rules: a friend is someone who you can trust behind you with a sharp knife and a good reason. most people fail that, but I always give the benefit of the doubt...long story)

Anyway, I send her a copy of "PanthEon" as a birthday present. Her 20th (yeah, I know, she's young, sue me)...the other evening I was on the web, doing my mail and stuff on city of legends, when I get an email, big purple letters..."I got the book, thanks"...

I fire back "you're welcome"

Immediately I get a second email from her. big purple letters: "get online"

emphatic.

I swing over to aol to find myself being grilled.

"did you write these to a woman?"

gheez, she's a friend and doesn't know the legend of the Panther Cycles, suddenly I felt very forgotten...good thing "The Compleat Panther Cycles" is coming out this summer.

I tell her yes, and explain the backstory.

"Is it wrong of me to feel jealous?"

I had to think about this one. But, truth be told, I remember when the cycles first hit, how the world seemed to go nute...several women thought they might be the panther, despite them not matching any of the description or details...I got a relentless stream of emails containing questions, propositions, nude photos (lost them, dammit) and requests for personal audiences.

I told her it is okay to feel jealous. I know several women who, in the aftermath of the Panther Cycles, left their husbands to seek out someone who would love them like I loved the Panther.

I've been alone for the past year, as I made myself a promise that I would not get stupid again this time after a divorce...and it has been rough on a guy who has largely the libido of a seventeen year old, but it has been worth it to step back, clear my head and refocus on my writings...I'm no longer ballast on the Hindenberg, I'm Prometheus again, Bragi and Apollo.

And, you know, it feels good to be me again. And this time, I won't bend myself out of shape for the whims of an illusion. Damascus was an illusion, this time. maybe it is always an illusion.

But, remember the chilling words that my first great love said to me when I asked her why she wanted me to give up writing: "because poetry will never again be commercially successful, you'll never achieve the recognition you deserve, and you will grow old and bitter and I do not want to see the man I love grow old and bitter and die."

Guess what? I remembered that the other day, fingers inches fromt he keyboard, ready to vent wrath on frail illusions that have laid wounds upon me in recent years.

I promise, it will not happen. I owe debt to God and to those who have crossed my path to still be hopeful and strong. I will die one day. Maybe in fifty years, maybe in thrity seconds, but I will stay on my feet and take the fight to the darkness.



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More Blogs by William F DeVault
• amomancies launches! - Monday, July 28, 2014
• In honor of my return..the taste - Friday, May 09, 2014
• and where have I been - Thursday, July 01, 2010
• it was coughing up blood, this morning - Friday, January 19, 2007
• steering the blog over - Monday, May 09, 2005
•  anecdotal evidence - Thursday, May 05, 2005  
• sprinting to the edge of the sphere - Monday, May 02, 2005
• thus endeth the tour - Sunday, May 01, 2005
• The Book N Bean Read - Saturday, April 30, 2005
• recess is over - Tuesday, April 26, 2005
• may you live in interesting times - Sunday, April 24, 2005
• we have ignition and second-stage separation - Saturday, April 23, 2005
• we are t-plus 12 hours and the clock is running - Wednesday, April 20, 2005
• unzipped..and ready to rock - Tuesday, April 19, 2005
• random notes and musings - Saturday, April 16, 2005
• One does not applaud the tenor for clearing his throat - Wednesday, April 13, 2005
• just another manic monday - Monday, April 11, 2005
• a vile attar - Sunday, April 10, 2005
• just another random update - Friday, April 08, 2005
• at the bar in the Black Bear - Friday, April 08, 2005
• I met an extraordinary man today - Thursday, April 07, 2005
• walking to the nearest star - Thursday, April 07, 2005
• my 10 favourite things? - Monday, April 04, 2005
• dreams and nightmares... - Sunday, April 03, 2005
• truly odd... - Thursday, March 31, 2005
• editing and losing my mind - Tuesday, March 29, 2005
• yes - Thursday, March 24, 2005
• mental floss - Wednesday, March 23, 2005
• it's a sunday - Sunday, March 20, 2005
• aigh...edits... - Friday, March 18, 2005
• interesting, interesting - Wednesday, March 16, 2005
• first day sales - Tuesday, March 15, 2005
• invocato - Monday, March 14, 2005
• crazy eddie moment - Sunday, March 13, 2005
• so, I'm stuck on this planet - Saturday, March 12, 2005
• having stepped back - Friday, March 11, 2005
• the steel furnace of dreams - Thursday, March 10, 2005
• momentum - Monday, March 07, 2005
• a mixed bag - Sunday, March 06, 2005
• contemplating - Thursday, March 03, 2005
• decree - Sunday, February 27, 2005
• a quiet moment - Friday, February 25, 2005
• just sliding by - Thursday, February 24, 2005
• the apricots - Wednesday, February 23, 2005
• made it through the valentine's season - Tuesday, February 15, 2005
• stream of conciousness - Saturday, February 05, 2005
• question - Saturday, February 05, 2005
• confessions - Friday, February 04, 2005
• February 4th... - Friday, February 04, 2005
• working in the hearths of Tartarus - Thursday, February 03, 2005
• I'm back - Thursday, February 03, 2005
• nightmares - Sunday, January 30, 2005
• 1/28/2005 8:43:56 AM - Friday, January 28, 2005
• weirdness in a mundane universe - Wednesday, January 26, 2005
• getting naked - Wednesday, January 26, 2005
• the inner mantichore - Tuesday, January 25, 2005
• got the clearance - Wednesday, January 19, 2005
• creditor relationships - Sunday, January 16, 2005
• survived the photo shoot - Thursday, January 13, 2005
• smile with your eyes - Thursday, January 13, 2005
• the interview - Wednesday, January 12, 2005
• the two questions - Wednesday, January 05, 2005
• all truths are atomic - Tuesday, January 04, 2005
• I have to admit... - Friday, December 31, 2004
• I left the house... - Thursday, December 30, 2004
• the answers are elegant - Wednesday, December 29, 2004
• the price of passion - Tuesday, December 28, 2004
• with wings as oft leathery as feathery, vol I - Monday, December 27, 2004
• Interesting... - Monday, December 27, 2004
• we wish you some hairy fishnuts.... - Saturday, December 25, 2004
• cold... - Thursday, December 23, 2004
• step 2: where'd I leave my Diet RC? - Tuesday, December 21, 2004
• step 1: man plans, God laughs - Sunday, December 19, 2004
• woof - Saturday, December 18, 2004
• the whirlwind rides... - Thursday, December 16, 2004
• my virtual christmas card - Monday, December 13, 2004
• a Dreyfuss moment - Saturday, December 11, 2004
• I read the news today, oh boy... - Wednesday, December 08, 2004
• looking for a pair of dusty sandals... - Monday, December 06, 2004
• Is it Monday again? - Monday, December 06, 2004
• uh oh - Sunday, December 05, 2004
• Independence Day +3 - Friday, December 03, 2004
• independence day +1 - Wednesday, December 01, 2004
• ab initio, round two - Monday, November 29, 2004
• beyond the pale of feeling - Monday, November 22, 2004
• lost my mojo - Wednesday, November 10, 2004
• can I get a harrumph outta that guy? - Wednesday, November 10, 2004
• in silence - Monday, November 08, 2004
• Election day... - Tuesday, November 02, 2004
• to sleep with the angels - Sunday, September 19, 2004
• open microphones...closed doors - Tuesday, September 14, 2004
• finding me - Wednesday, September 08, 2004
• just a guy - Friday, September 03, 2004
• and the timelines fray and reweave - Tuesday, August 24, 2004
• and the band played on... - Saturday, August 21, 2004
• the puzzle pondered Plato - Thursday, August 05, 2004
• return of the cliff runner - Wednesday, July 28, 2004
• something moves in the shadows - Sunday, July 25, 2004
• making chicken salad... - Wednesday, July 21, 2004
• The Ides of Julius - Thursday, July 15, 2004
• Two weeks and counting? - Sunday, July 11, 2004
• thinking of the book - Friday, June 25, 2004
• has it really been four weeks? - Thursday, June 24, 2004
• T minus 23 hours - Wednesday, May 26, 2004
• frankly, Phillip, its a tangle... - Tuesday, May 11, 2004
• from the road - Friday, April 30, 2004
• fini - Tuesday, April 27, 2004
• reading - Saturday, April 24, 2004
• stronger today - Thursday, April 08, 2004
• exceeding crush depth - Wednesday, April 07, 2004
• 30- - Thursday, March 25, 2004


Mission Mururoa by Rosemary Patterson

Young and lovely Terri'i Gagnon used as bait in French CIA plot to capture Tahitian students investigating possibility of tsunamis from French nuclear tests disintegrating Moruroa ..  
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