How does one deal with the communications tsunami? It used to be just papers. Now the internet has joined in, telemarketing buzzes around, and, honestly, when I hear a sound, I don’t know whether it is my cell,  the telephone, the Skype, the doorbell, the security, the oven timer, my car in the garage or the fire alarm. Wow! Wow! How come I don’t have an alarm when my blood pressure rises to critical levels?

And rise it does when I receive solicitations time and again, for one cause or another. Erased messages come back to haunt me,  envelopes to contribute to charity multiply during the year, services whom I forbid to call back again  don’t spare their mail, concerned bankers extend their offers for loans and the cycle renews with more vigor as we approach the Christmas season.  Each solicitor bombards my senses at repeated intervals, unabashedly, as if they are all in competition to place the most calls during the year and chance upon my weakest moment to say yes.  I get interesting requests too. The latest one perplexed me. It was a solicitation to designate somebody, from whom medical information could be collected in case I am incapacitated. I could not think of one person, among the crowd I communicate with, who would be a good candidate for such a job.  None. This is a sorry state of affairs when the whole world calls on you for help but nobody is out there to extend any.

Necrologists toll alarm bells as well. They have already placed me on their list and send me notes at regular intervals, requesting anything from body parts to permission to burn me to ashes.  Will there be anything left for the burial plot after I have gotten rid of all my disposable parts? I also get requests  for donations from endowment funds or from funeral directors offering contracts.  Why don’t they check if I have anything to bequest before making assumptions about my wealth?  Maybe they are contacting the wrong Terzian? It is such an easy name! Perhaps I should change my name to something unpalatable, like Mary Bitter .

I remember my finance teacher at college whose first lecture was:  “Never use your own capital. Have as much debt as possible. Your lenders will spare no effort in keeping you alive. They want to be paid back.”

I find out I am indebted for the wrong reasons.