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Robert A. Mills

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Books
· Wall !

· Tycoon!

· Well !

· Circles !

· 'Mate !

· The Better Angels


Articles
· Robert's Angels by Dani R. Bellflowers


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The Better Angels

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Blogs by Robert A. Mills

EARLY A.M. CALL
10/5/2009 10:32:58 AM
President Obama’s phone rang at 3 AM. It was Oprah Winfrey.

OPRAH: I wake you up?
OBAMA: Had to answer the phone, anyway. This better be
important.
OPRAH: It is. The IOC’s gonna vote on the site for the 2016
Olympics on Friday.
OBAMA: I care?
OPRAH: Chicago’s in the running.
OBAMA: No sweat.
OPRAH: You oughta be there.
OBAMA: What for?
OPRAH: You not there an’ we get turned down, the whole
country’s gonna say it was your fault.
OBAMA: What they gonna say if I’m there, an’ we get turned
down,anyway?
OPRAH: Nuthin. You did the best you could. It’s the
American way.
OBAMA: Won’t work. Tried that already with health care
reform. Besides, you know what it costs to fly Air
Force One to Copenhagen and back?
OPRAH: Fly commercial, like me.
OBAMA: You kiddin’? . . . What’re our chances?
OPRAH: Not good. More’n half the city don’t want the
Olympics, anyway. Look what Atlanta got out of it.
OBAMA: What they get?
OPRAH: Richard Jewell, Eric Rudolph, Billy Payne . . . and
Carl Lewis. Mohammad Ali lit the torch an’ almost
burned the stadium down.
MICHELE: Who’s onna phone?
OBAMA: Oprah Winfrey.
MICHELE: Oh. Tell’er I read all the books.
OBAMA: Michele says—
OPRAH: I heard her. . . . Maybe she could fly over with me
an’ make a pitch. Is there a special rate if only
one a y’all fly on Air Force One? Then maybe you—
OBAMA: I could fly over Thursday and meet with General
McChrystal and see—
OPRAH: Who he?
OBAMA: Runs the show in Afghanistan. Wants me to send him
more GIs.
OPRAH: Can you get him to come on my show?
OBAMA: I dunno. I’ll ask him.
OPRAH: Then you’ll come over an’ tell ‘em how important it
is they pick Chicago?
OBAMA: Boehner an’ that bunch gonna raise hell. . . . What
other places they considering?
OPRAH: Madrid, Rio, Tokyo—I think.
OBAMA: Hmm. Outside of Madrid, who’d wanna go to those
other places?
OPRAH: That’s just it. Windy City’s a shoo-in. Gotta
win, hands down. You’ll make it a cinch.
OBAMA: Yeah, you’re probably right. McConnell’s gonna say
I’m the only reason we got it, an’ I hadda spend a
hundred grand of taxpayer’s money to do it.
OPRAH: Tell him it was cheaper than flying McWhatshisface
over here.
OBAMA: Good point.
OPRAH: Then I can count on you—an’ Michele?
OBAMA: Yeah—but I gotta be back here Friday night.
OPRAH: What about the kids?
OBAMA: No way.
OPRAH: Will you come on my show for the big celebration?
OMABA: Definitely no way. Cantor’s gonna flip out as it
is.
OPRAH: Eddie?
OBAMA: Eric.
OPRAH: Oh. Well—‘night. See ya in Denmark.
OBAMA: Right. . . . Thanks for calling.


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More Blogs by Robert A. Mills
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• SBOW PT. 11-Thursday Dec, 4, 2014 - Friday, December 05, 2014
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• 22nd - Saturday, November 22, 2014
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