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Pamela C Labud

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Blogs by Pamela C Labud

Why did I want to do this again?
2/28/2006 6:36:34 AM

Monday's blues turn into Tuesday's musings.



Hello, Gentle Readers!

Like Jack Nicholson in the Shining, "I'm baaaack!"

It's been an odd few days where I went work this weekend and came home with a bad head cold, got really depressed about this whole writing thing, and was lifted back up again by really nice review.

The truth was, yesterday I was ready to quit. I wanted to toss my computer into the bathtub and let the faucet flow. I know that as a writer not every day is going to be peachy keen, but still, yesterday was definitely the bottom of the barrel.

Why? One of the things you think when you are an unpublished writer is that all is going to be wonderful and well once you make your first big sale. This is oh so not true. If nothing else, those few moments of elation are soon replaced with abject fear. I was soooo thrilled because and editor liked my manuscript. Who wouldn't be?

Well, as my daughter reminded me at the time "Mom that only means three people like your book. You, your mom, and this editor." What a rush to reality that was.

Of course, you want to do well, you want everyone to love your work and throw praises on you. That happens for some authors, sure enough, but for those of us who live and write in the regular world, it just ain't so.

Then of course, there comes performance anxiety. You ask yourself, what if the first book was a fluke? What if I can't do it again? Yep. Second book syndrome, and it's a killer.

Still, writing is what you do, and you push yourself out of that valley because you made a commitment to do a second book and come hell, high water, or even bad reviews, you do what you promised. For me, writing that second book was the hardest thing I've ever done as a writer. Zero self confidence, zero self esteem.

Then, for a few hours yesterday the desire to write left me. Completely. Totally. Gone. I cleaned house, I checked my email, but the drive that had gotten me through eight manuscripts, three e-pubbed novels, and two mass markets, finally evaporated like rain on a sidewalk in August. Pssst. Nada Gone.

I didn't think I'd ever get another sale, my April book would suck, and my writing life was virtually over.

Then, I got in my convertable to pick up the kids from school, dropped the top, and let the fresh air and sunshine flow over me. (although it was a little chilly, mind you because it's February, but a nice enough day just the same)

While I was driving yet another story idea came to me, as well as things I can do with my current work in progress. Yep. The muse is like that. She sometimes strikes when you least expect it.

Of course, that would have been enough to drive me back to the computer. I was more than greatful for the little spark of inspiration.

But, when I got home, there was an email digest from one of my loops. IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND just got a 4 star review from Romantic Times Bookclub Magazine. I was so thrilled and elated by this news. It went along way to reinforce that I really can be a writer after all.

More than that, that little bit of good news will go a long way toward pushing my fingers across the keyboard until the next disatisfied snarky Amazon customer hits me with derogatory review. That's my writer's life. Up and down like a rollercoaster. You gotta love this business, hey?

Why did I want do to this again?


Happy reading and I'll catch you next time! Take care, Pam.


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More Blogs by Pamela C Labud
• Big news! - Saturday, February 14, 2009
• Blogging at Coffee Time Romance! - Monday, January 12, 2009
• Excerpt: Always and Forever - Friday, November 07, 2008
• It's Release Day! - Tuesday, October 21, 2008
• Urban Fanatasy, an ageless genre... - Sunday, September 07, 2008
• Change is good! - Monday, September 01, 2008
• New job, new book release, and new review!!! - Sunday, July 20, 2008
• Happy days are here again... - Monday, June 23, 2008
• Interview tonight! - Monday, May 26, 2008
• Happy Tuesday! - Tuesday, May 13, 2008
• E-Cataromance New site design for Sensual! - Tuesday, May 06, 2008
• Crunch time - Sunday, April 20, 2008
• Another manic monday! - Monday, April 07, 2008
• Sometimes you have to choose - Monday, March 31, 2008
• Even more good news! - Monday, March 10, 2008
• My New Cover! - Monday, March 03, 2008
• Finally, some news to report! - Monday, February 11, 2008
• Birthdays, spring cleaning, and writing 'The End.' - Wednesday, January 09, 2008
• Blessings present and accounted for... - Sunday, December 16, 2007
• Ready...Set...Write!!! - Monday, November 19, 2007
• Blockbuster movies didn't have this! - Tuesday, October 23, 2007
• Go to warp speed, Mr. Sulu! - Monday, September 24, 2007
• Trippin' down memory lane. - Sunday, September 09, 2007
• Force of nurture - Sunday, August 19, 2007
• Slip slidin' away - Wednesday, August 08, 2007
• Back to Business - Wednesday, July 18, 2007
• Off and Running... - Monday, July 02, 2007
• Summer Daze 2007 - Wednesday, June 27, 2007
• Caution: busy week ahead! - Monday, June 18, 2007
• Blogging the night away...last stop! - Tuesday, June 12, 2007
• Can we blog here? (part two) - Monday, June 04, 2007
• Can we blog here? - Wednesday, May 30, 2007
• Something to talk (blog) about... - Monday, May 28, 2007
• Long time, no post! - Monday, May 21, 2007
• Back to the Basics Writing Workshop - Monday, October 16, 2006
• I Hope You Dance! - Tuesday, October 03, 2006
• This and that... - Wednesday, September 27, 2006
• Tips from the Pro's! - Monday, August 07, 2006
• Back from Atlanta! - Monday, July 31, 2006
• A quick note... - Saturday, June 24, 2006
• Ch-ch-changes... - Tuesday, May 23, 2006
• April showers, May flowers - Monday, May 01, 2006
• I was in the right place, but it must have been the wrong time... - Monday, April 17, 2006
• The faster I go... - Tuesday, April 11, 2006
• Spring Break at last! - Tuesday, April 04, 2006
• Somebody pinch me! - Monday, March 27, 2006
• Mama, where do ideas come from? - Monday, March 20, 2006
• Riding the Wave - Tuesday, March 07, 2006
•  Why did I want to do this again? - Tuesday, February 28, 2006  
• Book updates and other things! - Tuesday, February 21, 2006
• Swimming against the current - Tuesday, February 07, 2006
• The power of words - Monday, January 30, 2006
• Manic Monday, redux - Monday, January 16, 2006
• No time like the present - Tuesday, January 10, 2006
• A clean slate - Monday, January 02, 2006
• Back to work I go. - Wednesday, December 28, 2005
• Holiday Wishes - Saturday, December 24, 2005
• Domestic procrastination... - Wednesday, December 14, 2005
• Yeah, but is it really worth it? - Sunday, November 27, 2005
• Crazy but true... - Monday, November 21, 2005
• Just another manic monday. - Monday, November 07, 2005
• One step forward, two steps back... - Monday, October 31, 2005
• Rainy days and Mondays - Tuesday, October 25, 2005
• Confessions of an Emotion Junkie - Wednesday, October 19, 2005
• My guilty little secret - Thursday, October 13, 2005
• Another milestone - Wednesday, October 05, 2005
• Where does the time go? - Monday, October 03, 2005
• So much to do, so little time... - Sunday, September 11, 2005
• Life is good... - Thursday, September 08, 2005
• Summer colds and other things... - Tuesday, August 30, 2005
• Eight days a week... - Thursday, August 25, 2005
• Life in the (not-so) fast lane. - Tuesday, August 16, 2005
• Where did the summer go? - Wednesday, August 10, 2005
• Back to the real world... - Wednesday, August 03, 2005
• Housework avoidance - Monday, July 18, 2005
• The awakening muse... - Monday, July 11, 2005
• Paperback Writer... - Monday, June 13, 2005
• After the Party - Sunday, April 17, 2005
• Spring has sprung! - Monday, March 28, 2005
• Ups and Downs - Tuesday, March 08, 2005
• Pins and Needles - Monday, February 28, 2005
• Is it possible it's been a year? - Wednesday, December 22, 2004
• Holidaze... - Thursday, November 25, 2004
• Hard at Work - Wednesday, October 13, 2004
• Wow, time flies - Sunday, September 12, 2004
• Summertime blues... or, not? - Wednesday, June 16, 2004
• Will wonders ever cease? - Sunday, June 13, 2004
• And the net will appear... - Tuesday, May 11, 2004


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