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Marcus Dino

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Blogs by Marcus Dino

Fifi's Thoughts
5/31/2008 7:31:47 AM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

Plllllllease it should have been called 'Sex and the Silly'

If any of you females (and a few of you males) want to see 'Sex and the City' just go watch the first 10 or so minutes, walk around the theater for about 21/2 hours (you can sneak in and see other bad movies like 'Speed Racer' and 'Crystal Skull', just make sure the usher doesn't catch you) and then come back and watch the last 10 minutes of 'Sex'. You will basically not miss anything because the main part of this movie is so much mind numbing sleep inducing nonsense. I wish I could do some 'astral traveling' and fly around the theater and watch people go to sleep and look like zombies as this silly movie kept on dragging on.

Anyways it's just hard to take 'Sex and the Silly'seriously. I never watched a second of the TV show or any of the reruns and I certainly won't rush to TIVO any episodes on HBO or A&E or whatever after seeing the movie. I mean Kirstin Davis opens her mouth in a shower in Mexico and she gets the runs? Sarah Jessica Parker interviews a male Princeton grad to be her personal assistant and then looks under the table and sees that he wears 'high heels?' Kim Katrell to be taken seriously as an LA to New York hop scotching ex wife of a billionaire tramp, who's more entertained by some of the goings on of her 'mamba stud and his female friends' LA beach house next door neighbor than anything her surfer bum 'boy toy' gives her? Four 40 something women screaming like a bunch of school girls when they see each other?

'Sex and the City' is so bad that I'm actually looking forward to seeing when they will release the movie versions of 'Dumb, Never Worked a Day in their Life, and Wealthy Housewives of La La Land or Manhattan.' 'Sex and the City' was so bad that Kim's live in boyfriend is a Mensa member compared to who ever wrote the screenplay to 'Sex.'Sex and the City was so bad that the only two memomorable actors in the movie are Kirsten's adorable adopted little daughter and Kim's little pillow wrestling rat dog. The men in 'Sex' were so dull that didn't an earlier version of 'Sex' come out a few years ago called 'Romancing the Stone?' 'Sex and the City' was so bad that I not only wanted to talk to the theater manager about getting my money back but also getting reimbursed for my gas bills for the distance I drove to the theater. I mean gas is quite expensive these days, over four bucks a gallon. (Biff my boyfriend who went with me doesn't have to be reimbursed. Maybe he should be applauded being a guy willing to watch 'Sex.')

OK enough of bashing 'Sex.' It's just that I don't reccommend it. I mean I could see the main actors doing a remake of the Wizard of Oz and that would be far more entertaining. I mean I could see Sarah playing the Wicked Witch of the West, Cynthia Nixon playing the Scarecrow, Kim playing the Lion except she has to learn to act cowardly, and 40 something Kirstin Davis could still play Dorothy, I wonder how she still looks so girlish? Botox? Lucky genes? Any of the men in the movie especially Sarah's wealthy boyfriend 'Mr Big' or 'Beach boy' could play the Tin Man because they look and act like robots. Finally rat dog could be 'Toto', 'little girl' could be a munchkin and Kirsten's husband could be the Wizard even though he looks a lot more like 'Daddy Warbucks' from 'Annie.'

By the way for people on the other side of the age spectrum another version of 'Sisters sharing Smelly Diapers I meant Traveling Pants' is coming out. I just can't imagine how any one could share their pants, even if they are women and they do wash them. All kinds of stains......yuck.

Like I said before it takes a real man like my boyfriend Biff to watch a movie like 'Sex.' Marcus you went with a significant other to see 'Sex' and believe it or not you guys will find 'Fifi' a great book to read with a lot of interesting male characters despite having my girlish French Poodle sounding name as the main title. Looking at the opposite spectrum I actually would rather see guy flicks like the original 'Rocky' or 'Predator' or 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' any day before 'Sex.'

I trulytrulytrulytrulytrulytrulytrulytruly.....I trulytrulytrulytrulytruly.....I just like talking gibberish to clean out my brain. Who cares what you
think? Speaking of cleaning out your brain if you don't get a lot of sleep at night take a 'cat nap' for 30 minutes or so before you drive home after a hard day's work. You will feel a lot fresher and more important more alert and be less accident prone.

You people see the story where that kid from Indiana who won the spelling bee accidently mispronounced the word 'Numnah' and said 'Numnuts' before pronouncing and spelling numnah correctly? Well this kid who is of Indian heritage may be just a sly young fox because a few years ago Peter Sellers played an Indian fella in a movie called 'The Party' accidently said that same exact silly word 'Numnuts'. I just wonder if that kid saw that movie and wanted to get a laugh to take away some of the tension. Maybe it was an amazing coincidence but maybe it wansn't. A real smart kid who maybe knew what he was doing and eventually won the Bee.

I just read in the local rag that over 80% of union actors make less than ten grand a year from acting work. I can attest to that, how about zero grand for me, well maybe a few hundred bucks or so being an extra. Sure there's a lucky few big shots rolling in the dough but they are the teeny weeny minority. What other profession is there where eighty percent make less than ten grand a year? Marcus you're a teacher, even teachers make more than that. And it's getting worse because all of these dumb reality shows and their 'amateur actors.' Comeon SAG put up fight at the negotiating table. Win Win Win.

You people want to protest these fast rising food and gas prices and lose a little weight while you're doing it? Try walking more to get to places and buy less food.

A sad farewell to two giants of the entertainment industry. A great director and pretty good actor in Sidney Pollack and just a funny funny comedian especially from the old Carol Burnett shows Harvey Korman.

Will I get to audition for anything in a few months with talks between SAG and the studios at a standstill?

I'm sorry but I don't want to be compared to a couple of lookalikes like 'Kim Possible' or than no talent redhead who sells 'E insurance' and runs around playing some amateur spy. I'm just as talented as both those cartoon figures put together. It's just that they were lucky to win their silly roles and I'm not.

You people remember 'Amadeus?' One of my favorite movies of all time. Well a real young Cynthia Nixon was that maid who worked for Mozart and was also Salieri's 'spy'telling him what was going on in Mozart's household. She was so emotional, a real great acting job. Wonder what the heck happened to the girl who played Mozart's wife, Elisabeth Berridge or to Tom Hulce for that matter? That's why life in Hollywood is so fleeting, you need to get as many roles as soon as you can because you don't when that next big role will ever come. Do you hear that Jerry my favorite agent? Don't you think I would have added a little spice to
'Sex?' Omigosh that sounds so dirty. More than enough thoughts for now.


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More Blogs by Marcus Dino
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The Wronged Princess - book 1 by Kathy L Wheeler / Kae Elle Wheeler

When Cinderella's slipper slides onto the foot of her batty-eyed sister what is she to do? What is Prince Charming to do!..  
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