Blogs by Marcus Dino
Fifi's Thoughts
7/6/2008 8:31:39 AM
MY NAME IZ ANDRA AND I AM GOING TO TALK OVER ZE VORLD
IT IS YEAR 2015
I AM FEMALE. I AM REDHEAD. I HAVE STRONG EUROPEAN ACCENT. I SOUND LIKE GRETA GARBO, LIKE ARNOLD....I VANT TO BE ALONE. HASTLA VISTA BABY. I TAKE ON ALL GIRLIE MEN. I LOOK LIKE FIFI LAROUCHE BUT I AM NOT FIFI LAROUCHE.
I AM SOFTWARE GENERATED 'GRAPHIC IMAGE' TO REPLACED EXPENSIVE HIGHLY PAID ACTRESS NAMED FIFI LAROUCHE. UNLIKE FIFI I DO NOT ASK FOR HUGE MONEY FOR FILM, I DO NOT GO ON STRIKE BEACUSE I AM NOT IN SAG, I DO NOT HAVE MY OWN TRAILER DURING SHOOTING. I DO NOT HAVE PERSONAL ASSISTANTS, I DO NOT REQUIRE 'DOUBLES,' I DO NOT TAKE BATHROOM BREAKS.
I WAS FIRST DESIGNED BY MAD SCIENTISTS IN SILICON VALLEY TO REPLACE HIGHLY PAID ACTORS AND ACTRESSES LIKE FIFI BECAUSE STUDIOS MAKE IT MUCH CHEAPER TO USE GRAPHIC GENERATED ACTORS THAN REAL ACTORS. BACK IN DOUBLE OS THEY USE GRAPHIC GENERATED ANIMALS INSTEAD OF REAL ANIMALS LIKE IN 'CHRONICLES OF NARNIA' AND 'GLADIATOR.' THEY STARTED USING GRAPHIC GENERATED 'EXTRAS' IN '300' AND 'ALEXANDER' AND 'TROY.' NOW STUDIOS SAY VY NOT USE GRAPHIC GENERATED IMAGES FOR STARS? GEEKY SOFTWARE DESIGNERS NOW MAKE IMAGES THAT LOOK LIKE REAL ACTORS. JUST HIRE SOME CHEAP VOICE OVER ACTORS TO DO TALKING. NOT EVEN HAVE TO SOUND LIKE REAL PERSON BECAUSE AS YOU CAN SEE I DO NOT SOUND LIKE FIFI. ELECTONIC 'DUBBING PROCESS' TAKE CARE OF THAT.
MY IDOLS ARE 'HAL' FROM 2001, 'FALCON' FROM VARGAMES, C3P0 FROM STAR WARS, WAL E, THAT ZILLY DROID THAT COLLECTS DIRT ON MARS,
AND OF COURSE MY FAVORITE: ZE CYBORG FROM ZE ORIGINAL TERMINATOR. NOW MAD SCIENTISTS IN INDIA AND CHINA (BECAUSE THEY ARE AS SMART BUT CHEAPER THAN AMERICAN MAD SCIENTISTS) ARE MAKING AN ROBOTIC ANDROID VERSION OF ME. YOU KNOW PUT SOME RAM AND ROM AND A MOTHERBOARD INTO THE 'SKULL' OF A BEING MADE OUT OF SYNTHETIC MATERIAL. SO VEN FIFI TRIES TO GO BACK TO BEING A VAITRESS SHE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO VORK BECAUSE I VILL BE THERE TO TAKE HER PLACE. NO COFFEE BREAKS. NO BATHROOM BREAKS. NO VORKERS COMPENSATION. I DONT HAVE TO EVEN VORK FOR MINIMUM VAGE WHICH IS NOW 25 BUCKS IN CALIFORNIA THANKS TO GENEROUS DEMOCRATS IN ZE ASSEMBLY. MY BOSS PETROS LOVES ME BECAUSE I NEVER COMPLAIN. I CAN BE PUT IN STORAGE AT NIGHT AND MY BATTERY RECHARGED. I AM ZO EASY TO MAINTAIN AND ZO CHEAP. NO FOOD COSTS. I DO NOT DRIVE SO NO EXPENSIVE GAS COSTS WHICH ARE NOW 30 DOLLARS A GALLON THANKS TO THE CONIVING COMMODITY SPECULATORS AND CROOKED OIL COMPANY EXECS WHO BESIDES HIGH TECH EXECS ARE ABOUT ZE ONLY PEOPLE IN ZE US WHO ARE WORKING AND MAKING A LOT OF MONEY. ZE REST OF ZE PEOPLE ARE SELLING ORANGES OUT IN ZE STREET AND IN LONG SOUP LINES BECAUSE VE ANDROIDS ARE TAKING OVER ALL THE JOBS. VE ARE TAKING OVER ZE VORLD!
It could happen. It could happen. Omigosh in like 10 or so years I could be out of a job and pounding the pavement looking for work, even a low paying waitress job like I currently have because 'cyborg android' took my place. I could be sleeping on a park bench like these bums I used to sneer at for not looking for work do. Of course I'd have to cover my hair with a cap and make myself look like a man. I'd really would have to practice my tae kwan doe and martial arts moves because as you all know the streets are where all kinds of wolves and gigolos and other disgusting creatures roam like packs at night.
I would have to think of other options if I'm low on funds before hitting the streets where if you are young and female people would think you make a living doing........you know what. First and foremose there would be moving in with my folks but that would not be easy because I would have to hear daily complaints from Father why he shelled out over 150 grand for me to Quincy College and I am unemployed and not working as a highly marketing exec at one of those Android software companies. He wouldn't realize that there may be like 10000 applicants for any opening and both Androids and humans would be competing for work.
Maybe I would move in with Biff but then I'm a Catholic girl and I don't believe in that kind of nonsense. Would we have enough feelings to 'get married?' Also out of the question because may get divorced real fast like most gen y couples do today and I could be out on the street again. I just hope he doesn' get involved with some dumb 'cyborg' redhead like Andra and we still have feelings for each other in 2015. But then who knows maybe Biff will be poor too because even though he's working as a software developer they may outsource all that android work to some third world country.
I know I know I'm thinking of a worse case scenario. Maybe the studios will be dying for my unique personality and pay me then big bucks as an actress because they would know no phony CG image or android could walk talk and act silly like I do. Maybe Petros would know I'm a great worker and would kick that Andra in the butt right back to India or China or wherever she was made becaue he knows I'm irreplaceable. (My God I hope and pray I'm a movie star and NOT A WAITRESS IN 2015).
So.......maybe I shouldn't be too worried but you are seeing a lot of people pounding the pavement looking for work RIGHT NOW IN 2008 and you are seeing a lot of CG images in the movies today and you are seeing HIGHLY DEVELOPED ROBOTS DESIGNED RIGHT NOW IN JAPAN AND SOUTH KOREA. 'ANDRA' MAY BE FOR REAL IN 2015. BETTER LEARN A SKILL THAT NO COMPUTER, SOFTWARE PROGRAM, ANDROID OR SOMEONE IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY CAN DO RIGHT NOW.
MMMMMMMMM? CAN'T THINK OF MANY OCCUPATIONS....MAYBE POLITICIANS, STUDIO EXECUTIVES WHO 'GREENLIGHT' MOVIES LIKE 'THE HAPPENING' OR 'WANTED' OR STAND UP COMEDIANS BECAUSE THOSE JOBS TAKE SPECIAL SKILLS LIKE BLOWING OUT A LOT OF HOT AIR AND ACTING DUMB AND FOOLISH AT TIMES AND I DOUBT IF 'HIGH TECH GEEKS' CAN DESIGN SOFTWARE CURRENTLY AS WELL AS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENTS.
MY ALIEN FRIEND ALOCKI SAYS IN A WAY HUMANS ARE 'ANDROIDS.' THE NERVE OF THAT ZATORIAN TO TALK ABOUT US EARTHLINGS LIKE THAT. MAYBE IN ZATORIS PEOPLE ARE ANDROIDS BUT NOT HERE. EVEN THOUGH SOME OF THESE YOUNGER ENTERTAINERS AND CELEBRITIES SURE ACT LIKE ANDROIDS. OF COURSE THERE'S ME.
Double Os stinkos weekly flick uggh and arggh. Wanted and Hancock. My alter ego Flifi briefly described these two toilet movies even though that's my job and not hers. These two make me want to see 'The Happening' again. Enough said......PLEASE LORD IT GETS WORSE AND WORSE EACH YEAR OF THIS DECADE. 2008 MAKES 2007 LOOK GREAT DESPITE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A GOOD START. I HEAR THE DARK KNIGHT MAY ACTUALLY BE HALFWAY DECENT.
I actually kind of snuck in and for a few minutes saw those two 'kid movies' Kit Kittredge and Wall E while those two lousy films previously were going on the last few nights. I would recommend both movies not only for kids but they're not too bad for adults. My kid sister Pigg who is 14 should check these flicks out but then she's 14 and will say she and her friends are 'too cool' to see 'baby films' like WAL E and Kittridge. THEY WOULD RATHER SEE WANTED AND HANCOCK BECAUSE THEY'RE 'COOL.'
If you people want to see a halfway decent flick that is at least intellectually stimulating go to your local art theater and look at Trumbo, the story about the brilliant screenwriter who wrote movies like Spartacus and Exodus who was sadly blacklisted because of his ties to the Communist Party.
Do you people like Flifi? She's just as cute and funny as I am but she's a little smaller and has tiny little wings. You'll be getting her picture soon. She'll be giving out all those health and money tips.
I'm sorry but even though 'Love is' is a good cartoon strip I do wish those two people would start wearing clothes.
I told you people before I'm already currently losing out roles to redhead cartoon figures like that.....phony 'Kim Possible' or that...... 'Einsurance girl.' How do you think it will be in 2015 when with more advanced technology and the competition gets a lot tougher. No cartoon roles, no real flesh and blood actor roles,.....maybe no waitress job.........
Speaking of one more redhead cartoon figure I know that 'Brenda Starr' has been around a long time but what has she got that I haven't got? A good agent that's what.
As soon as that 'Andra' is made I'm gonna find her and kick her butt all the way to the planet Zatoris near Alpha Centauri where my best friend Alocki. SHE WON'T TAKE ANY JOB AWAY FROM ME. MORE THAN ENOUGH THOUGHTS FOR NOW.
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