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Dennis Leischner

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Member Since: Jan, 2007

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Blogs by Dennis Leischner

A surefire cure for baldness
4/6/2007 6:24:39 PM
If I were greedy, I would be writing a book and going on talk shows to promote my cure for baldness. Since I'm such a wonderful guy and in the spirit of brotherhood with fellow and non-fellow writers (what's the female version of "fellow"?) I offer this plan absolutely free, no obligation, no postage and handling charge.

In the photo on my bio, hideous as it is, you may notice a slightly receding hairline. It's even more receding since I began wearing a ponytail a couple of years ago what with pulling it back and all. Anyway, we all know a certain number of hairs fall out each day and mine seem to exceed the national average. So here's the plan. Pick up each and every loose hair you can find on pillows, shirts, sinks, bathtubs and: 1) use scotch tape or industrial strength duct tape to return them to their rightful place; 2) use a glue gun or superglue; 3) use a professional grade stapler; or, my favorite 4) use a nail gun. Any and all of these options will work provided you spend approximately 12 hours a day replacing your fallen idols and can stand ever increasing amounts of pain.

I will add these suggestions actually came from one of my former co-workers who sadly is no longer with us. I wish I could remember where I buried the body, I really should drop off some flowers some day.

You're welcome!


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More Blogs by Dennis Leischner
• My Animal Poem - Pulitizer material - Saturday, April 14, 2007
• No rest for the semi-catatonic - Friday, April 13, 2007
• Friday the 13th...not the movie - Friday, April 13, 2007
• Time machine Two - Thursday, April 12, 2007
• If I had a time machine - Thursday, April 12, 2007
• I lost it and don't know where it is - Wednesday, April 11, 2007
• Don't tell me daughter!! - Tuesday, April 10, 2007
• Proper parenting (you still won't avoid senility) - Monday, April 09, 2007
• Parent, beware of your children - Monday, April 09, 2007
• So much for a peaceful day in the neighborhood - Sunday, April 08, 2007
• Movies I'll never see but wish I could - Saturday, April 07, 2007
• I know they are out to get me - Saturday, April 07, 2007
•  A surefire cure for baldness - Friday, April 06, 2007  
• Poetry critiques wanted - Thursday, April 05, 2007
• Ode to my blog - Thursday, April 05, 2007
• Just a bunch of questions - Wednesday, April 04, 2007
• Poets are in need of therapy - Tuesday, April 03, 2007
• And for President I support... - Monday, April 02, 2007
• The days of whine and wet noses. - Sunday, April 01, 2007
• SimonSheSheSchusterSappho update - Saturday, March 31, 2007
• Homage to Dan Johnson - Friday, March 30, 2007
• We just gotta try harder! - Thursday, March 29, 2007
• Nursery rhymes in the news - Wednesday, March 28, 2007
• Book reviews - Tuesday, March 27, 2007
• Another voice without the humor - Monday, March 26, 2007
• As a last resort, there's always shock therapy - Sunday, March 25, 2007
• Mr. President, you need Stan Grimes! - Sunday, March 25, 2007
• Writing...what's it good for? Absolutely.... - Sunday, March 25, 2007
• Another Saturday night and I ain't got..." - Saturday, March 24, 2007
• Pet lovers...may I suggest therapy? - Saturday, March 24, 2007
• The weekend approacheth and I can't wait for Monday. - Friday, March 23, 2007
• The Meese shall inherit the Earth - Friday, March 23, 2007
• Introducing.... - Thursday, March 22, 2007
• Death is good for poetry - Wednesday, March 21, 2007
• Writing, I love it, I hate it (much like my ex-wives) - Tuesday, March 20, 2007
• I'd love writing if I didn't hate it so much. - Tuesday, March 20, 2007
• Lost: one mind (I just had one a few days ago) - Monday, March 19, 2007
• Enter at your own risk - Sunday, March 18, 2007
• St. Pat's Day...hungover and blessed - Saturday, March 17, 2007
• Spring has sprung...a leak. - Friday, March 16, 2007
• Ides" and go seek - Thursday, March 15, 2007
• Once upon a morning dreary... - Wednesday, March 14, 2007
• Nonsensical; because I can - Tuesday, March 13, 2007
• Teachers may walk out...who will know? - Monday, March 12, 2007
• The Emperor has no ears - Monday, March 12, 2007
• It's dark on Daylight Savings Time - Sunday, March 11, 2007
• You mean he's not a cynic all the time? - Saturday, March 10, 2007
• J. Edgar must have been cloned - Friday, March 09, 2007
• Politics and the cynic - Thursday, March 08, 2007
• Work ethics in the dinosaur age 25 years ago - Wednesday, March 07, 2007
• Useless questions without answers - Tuesday, March 06, 2007
• And then he said... - Monday, March 05, 2007
• A distorted view of the human race - Saturday, March 03, 2007
• Illness makes me sick - Friday, March 02, 2007
• In case you missed the news - Wednesday, February 28, 2007
• Sleeping is for those who can - Tuesday, February 27, 2007
• Rainy days and Mondays - Monday, February 26, 2007
• Head cold or allergies, I still ache - Sunday, February 25, 2007
• From the cerebral cosmos of a writer - Friday, February 23, 2007
• The end will soon be here..Friday that is - Thursday, February 22, 2007
• Film at 11:00 - Wednesday, February 21, 2007
• Monday morning Presidents Day - Monday, February 19, 2007
• Sunday morning poetry hangover - Sunday, February 18, 2007
• Saturdays are meant for... - Saturday, February 17, 2007
• The weekend beckons - Friday, February 16, 2007
• Writers block or blocking writer? - Wednesday, February 14, 2007
• Snow and the dog - Tuesday, February 13, 2007
• Monday Morning - 12 hours til I rest - Monday, February 12, 2007
• So this is a blog - Sunday, February 11, 2007


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