I have a problem.
No, that's not exactly accurate: I have many problems, but one newer and more irritating problem.
One of my problems, apart from this newer one, is a tendency to work on my novels late at night, when the house is quiet and I have some time to myself. Not a bad thing, right? Unfortunately, sometimes when I do this, I have a drink. Or two. Or ten. Of bourbon. Southern booze for a southern man. Evan Williams. A fine, smoky beverage. Puts me in touch with my roots. Tastes like Georgia, or some other fine piece of God's country. Connects all the loose electrodes. Dulls the pain...okay, that part might not be true...don't have any particular pain to dull, but it sounded good.
Anyway, another of my problems, separate but directly associated with this behavior, is a tendency to shop online after my first or third or eighth visit with Evan. Yes, ebay loves me late at night, and I find so many things, not that I want, but that I absolutely need. Know what I mean?
Like, so what if those golf shoes (I don't even golf) are a size 7 and I'm an 11--they're like new! I need them, by gosh! They're Nikes! Civil War era tweezers? How can I let them get away?
Get the picture? So, my latest late-night-communing-with-Evan adventure involves cyber-space. Most particularly, a web-site.
Somewhere near midnight last night, I realized that a fine, aspiring novelist--me--should have his own web-site. Makes sense, right? Hell yes! Here's how it happened: Last year, and I mean an entire year ago, also after having visited with my friend Evan, I bought a domain name: www.authormichaeltyler.com.
Catchy, huh? Bought it from GoDaddy. Really cool. I needed it. And I did nothing with it. Left it sitting for a year, an empty domain name. But it was mine, all mine. I owned it--yeah! So last night I opened an email and there was this "time for renewal" notice from Mr. Daddy.
Now a prudent man, or an intelligent man, or a man not quite so friendly with Evan, would have said, "Cool, I only wasted a few bucks, I'll just let it go."
But I, of course, am not one of those prudent men. I am me. Let it go? Never--I need that domain name! And hey, what the hell, while I'm at it, I'll add a few things to the old shopping cart, right? Let's see here--oh, a two year domain name extension--yeah, need that. A two year web hosting thing--gotta have. Email--yup. Web search enhancing addition--yeah, really need that one. Free site-building kit--oh yes! Click a few buttons and instant web-site--cool beans.
Evan and I finally shut down the old laptop and headed for bed around 2, not unhappy, but a couple of hundred dollars poorer. At 5:30, the trusty old alarm roused me for another day at the grind--not Evan, he gets to sleep as long as he wants--and I still wasn't entirely unhappy. Poor, yes, but well on my way to cyber-stardom. I would finally do something with that domain. Click those buttons. Build that web-site. Fame. Prestige. All within my grasp. That whole got-my-own-website-elite thing, y'know?
Well, today we had a snow storm. I got off early, and I've been screwing around with this easy-click web-site building thing for most of the day. And now I'm a little irritated. Perturbed. Out of sorts.
This web-site building kit really isn't such a click-and- build instant fame kind of thing. It's a pain. And maybe impossible for someone as computer-challenged as Michael Tyler.
Now it's getting late, almost midnight, and I've been talking with Evan, and Evan is saying "Screw it, maybe you're not the web-site type. Let it go for another year. Take it easy on yourself..."
And maybe Evan is right. Hell, maybe I'm not the web-site type. And it is late. And snowy, though I'm not sure how snow figures into the equation, but yeah, gotta take it slow.
Maybe I'll just go to ebay...