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1/19/2007 5:42:30 AM
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Many times in our lives we come upon a moment when ideas, thoughts, and desires clash in a way that catches us off guard. What seemed to be a normal stride turns upside down and you find yourself wondering which direction to take. You sit in quiet to see if answers would come but find silence instead of words of comfort. You call upon all the wisdom you contain for just one small tidbit of information but instead find yourself sinking deeper into what appears to be an enlarging hole.
Does that sound familiar? I recently stumbled into such a hole at a time when I least expected to find it. My life was going fine and I felt that all was under control. That is, until I was caught off guard by an uncontrollable force that pushed me to the ground. Have you ever fallen and looked up from the ground and wondered how you got there? This was kind of the same feeling. I was stunned, speechless, and became in need of a ‘time out’ as we used to say to our kids.
“Time out”, I said to myself. Since when does a grown man need a time out from life? I heard the answer deep in my mind. NOW! So I acknowledged my plight and began the difficult journey back from the depths of sorrow. What could have triggered this unintended burst of sorrow? Why me? Why now?
I sat in quiet for some time seeking the council of my inner world to help me become centered again. For a while I was motionless and struggled with answers. One after another they came slowly at first then they become more pointed and real. I was on to something and I could feel the approaching answer to my gloom. In the quiet I could feel my body soften and my pain became less and less. In that quiet I felt a comfort that I really didn’t expect so soon - so quick.
“Forgive” was a word that keep seeking its way to my conscious mind. Forgive what I wondered. Ah, I must forgive a disease that has taken away most of my world. Forgive myself for feeling guilt over how it affected my life and the lives of those I love. Forgive myself when I spill a glass of water or fall because I’m having a bad day and can’t quite feel the road under my feet. Ah yes, and forgive those involved in the news I received that day that caused me to spin out of control.
I sat in the quiet and forgave myself and all who affected me that day. I forgave until I was emptied of all the pain. I could see once again my world in all its beauty and knew then that I could follow my chosen path and find the joy and wonder that each tentative step brought. I was free and could feel a new surge of energy engulf me. What caused me pain gave me the insight to forgive. It was a good day.
Communing with Spirit during the trying times in my life has given me a way to enhance my life and brings me enormous comfort. You see, I live with chronic pain and the fatigue it causes which has completely altered my life. It has not only affected my life but also all those I love. It is through the art of meditation and inner reflection that I know the Spirit’s presence in my life. It is that same knowing that allows me to cope and survive during the most trying times. I write these articles and blogs to let others know of a way to keep their world alive, a way to overcome all the odds, and a way that can bring them peace.
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More Blogs by Dr. Ronald D. Bissell
Spirituality - What is it really? - Friday, July 18, 2014
Changing Seasons - Monday, December 28, 2009
It's All Relative - Friday, February 09, 2007
Compass Point - Friday, February 09, 2007
Sanctuary - Friday, February 02, 2007
New Posting - Thursday, February 01, 2007
My Blog has moved - Friday, January 19, 2007
Forgive Yourself - Friday, January 19, 2007
Black and white - Monday, January 15, 2007
The day after - Friday, November 24, 2006
Thankfulness - Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Fog - Friday, November 17, 2006
Soul Time - Thursday, November 16, 2006
Standing Still - Monday, November 13, 2006
Our Gift - Friday, November 03, 2006
Confused - Saturday, October 21, 2006
Innocent Love - Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Tomorrow is Father's Day - Saturday, June 17, 2006
Heart Sounds - Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Winter Blues - Saturday, January 28, 2006
Living in Today's World - Thursday, December 22, 2005
Christmas Memories - Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Expectation - Sunday, December 04, 2005
A Moment in Time - Friday, November 25, 2005
What ever happened to Thanksgiving? - Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Life Happens - Monday, November 21, 2005
Life Lessons - Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Living with Pain - Monday, October 03, 2005
Being Thankful - Sunday, September 18, 2005
Who are We? - Sunday, September 04, 2005
Passing Through - Monday, August 29, 2005
Changing Seasons - Monday, August 01, 2005
Did You Make a Choice Today? - Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Setting Things in Motion - Sunday, July 24, 2005
Love Comes in Small Packages - Thursday, July 21, 2005
Wake up call - Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Looking Beyond - Sunday, July 17, 2005
Listening to Others - Sunday, February 27, 2005
How do you feel today? - Sunday, February 27, 2005