Blogs by April Pittman
Robert, It's Your Anniversary Baby.
9/23/2004 7:52:43 AM
It's been a year today since you died. It will have been two more days before I found out. Before anyone found out. A year ago tonight you will die and you will lie there alone... for three days.
A year to the day and I am at work. I had no intentions of coming in today but, as you know, it's your niece's birthday soon and I can't afford not to work. I really had hoped to not wake up today... not get out of bed at all... to just lay there and cry over this wretched thing you have done to me. To yourself. You know, you robbed the world of your light when you decided to die.
So I'm sitting here in this small box with an even smaller box in front of me and typing to you. Not working. Hell I can hardly see through my own tears long enough to work.
I should never have left my bed today.
It's 10:00am. This time a year ago it was 11:00am for you. Your last hours alive. Did you know all along that they were your last? Did you know what was going to happen? What were you doing right now? Walking through the halls of your high school and chatting with your friends? Passing notes in class and laughing when you got caught? Sleeping with your head on your desk instead of listening to the teacher? I wish I could walk in your footsteps today. What did you do, what did you taste, what made you smile, who did you look at, what did you say....
what were you thinking...?
I wish I had never left my bed today.
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More Blogs by April Pittman
It's over - Tuesday, September 26, 2006
A Letter to My Brother - Sunday, September 24, 2006
I said I'd never be here... - Thursday, September 21, 2006
The Lover I Never Had to Love - Wednesday, January 19, 2005
A Pitiful and Disgusting Display of Sniveling Self-Pity - Sunday, January 16, 2005
Robert, It's Your Anniversary Baby. - Thursday, September 23, 2004
Rida - Friday, September 17, 2004
Dear, Sweet, Meagan Thomas - Wednesday, May 05, 2004
These are some of my favorite things... - Thursday, April 15, 2004
If Bush is reelected, I'm expatriating myself. - Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Kurt Can Fly and Bush is a Pig - Saturday, March 13, 2004