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CJ Heck

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Blogs by CJ Heck

One about Love
5/18/2011 5:17:46 AM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

I'm still learning ...

Being in love is one of the most misunderstood, yet most satisfying, of all states to be in. I've noticed in Facebook, of all the subjects written and talked about, love has to be right up there among the ones at the top. What is it about this thing called "love"?

We go through life thinking we have to "find" love, and the search becomes an obsessive mission. We spin our wheels for years, looking in all the wrong places, choosing the wrong people, and time and again, we get hurt because it's the wrong person for us. But is it? Do we really, honestly give love a chance?

Because we've been hurt so many times, it seems even when we do find someone special we can connect with, most of us have so many protective walls built around our self, that we almost dare the other person to break through. When the object of our affection cannot break through, we think once again we've failed at love.

I'm sure no expert, I'm still learning myself, but in speaking with Dinahh about it, he says love just isn't that difficult -- once it finds you. Like a flower, you only have to give it an open heart and an environment where it can grow and thrive. We have to throw away all of our protective walls -- just as a flower can't grow up through the dirt with a layer of concrete poured on the ground above it, love can't grow if we don't give it a loving place where it can blossom.

It becomes easier to understand if we look at a new relationship like a bank account. When we meet someone, the bank account starts out full -- full of trust. If it should grow into love, we can add to the account, affection, passion, sharing, closeness, and all of the other attributes we need in order to have in a healthy love relationship. If we start out with hope, a full bank account, and an open heart -- we give love a fighting chance. Oh, and trusting is easier if we'll only remember, this person had nothing to do with the people who hurt us in the past. To make love work, we have to always put more into the bank account than what we take out.

According to Dinahh, as a relationship grows in love, it grows in trust, as well. Trusting completely in that love, we can then allow our vulnerabilities to come out. We have to share our deepest self, even those parts of our self we dislike. There can be no secrets in love -- I don't mean you have to do it all at once. Dinahh tells me it may take years! Find a quiet time, cuddle on the couch, or spoon together in bed, but open your hearts, feel the love between you, feel the energy flowing through you from the universe, and then talk and share.

If the love is real, what comes from the sharing is acceptance, as well as an even deeper love, and a chance to grant our partner -- and ourselves -- forgiveness. A whole new closeness and trust is the result. Surprisingly, you'll even find a renewed feeling of protectiveness for your partner. Remember, they've carried these things with them, buried for a long time, and now that they've shared them with you, they are trusting you to love them even more because they have.

When conflicts arise -- and they will -- we have to keep our hearts open, hear each other out and really listen. If we're too angry to do that, Dinahh says that's only our fear and ego trying to control us and take over. We need some space, so take it. Find a quiet place to be alone for awhile and go to the silence, push aside both mind and ego -- again, they'll only try and take control. Find our center, feel the energy flow through us (to me, it feels sort of like the eternity symbol, a sideways "8"). Open our heart and feel the love. Only when we reconnect with self, and feel the love again can we work through the problem for a healthy solution.


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More Blogs by CJ Heck
• Anatomy of a Poet -- Book Giveaway - Monday, June 03, 2013
• Partnership with the Universe -- a Synchronistic Event - Thursday, May 03, 2012
• Is it Synchronicity, Coincidence, or Intuition? - Friday, March 09, 2012
• Spider's Thread: Trust - Saturday, February 11, 2012
• Feeling the Connection - Tuesday, January 24, 2012
• Making a Better Life - Monday, January 23, 2012
• A Beautiful Soul - Saturday, December 31, 2011
• A Lesson in the Silence - Saturday, December 31, 2011
• Epiphany in the Silence - Tuesday, November 08, 2011
• Meaning - Saturday, October 15, 2011
• Visit from Dinahh - Sunday, September 25, 2011
• A Vision of Souls - Saturday, July 09, 2011
• A Friend's Whispers - Wednesday, July 06, 2011
• Dream or a Vision? - Tuesday, July 05, 2011
• Thoughts on Love - Monday, July 04, 2011
• Inspiration for Writing - Sunday, July 03, 2011
• Something's Coming - Friday, July 01, 2011
• Our Spiritual Path - Thursday, June 30, 2011
• Children and Awareness - Wednesday, June 29, 2011
• Enlightenment - Thursday, June 23, 2011
• Spirit Guides - And Children - Thursday, June 16, 2011
• Spirit Guides and Whispers - Part 2 - Wednesday, June 15, 2011
• Spirit Guides and Whispers - Part 1 - Tuesday, June 14, 2011
• Time - Monday, June 13, 2011
• Avatar - Friday, June 10, 2011
• Feeling Invisible - Thursday, June 09, 2011
• More About Whispers - Wednesday, June 08, 2011
• Soulmates: Soul Mates - Tuesday, June 07, 2011
• Synergy of Love - Monday, June 06, 2011
• What is Awareness? - Sunday, June 05, 2011
• Journey to Discovery - Saturday, June 04, 2011
• A Lifesaving Whisper - Thursday, June 02, 2011
• A Daughter's Whisper - Thursday, June 02, 2011
• Wishing our Lives Away - Wednesday, June 01, 2011
• You Can Feel the Magic - Tuesday, May 31, 2011
• Channeling - Monday, May 30, 2011
• Whispers from the Universe - Sunday, May 29, 2011
• Spiritual Healing - Saturday, May 28, 2011
• Karmic Badges - Friday, May 27, 2011
• Strange Dream/Vision - Thursday, May 26, 2011
• Turning Thoughts Into Things - Wednesday, May 25, 2011
• The Silence - Wednesday, May 25, 2011
• Dinahh, Part II - Tuesday, May 24, 2011
• From the Heart - Sunday, May 22, 2011
• Healing - Friday, May 20, 2011
• Dinahh - Thursday, May 19, 2011
•  One about Love - Wednesday, May 18, 2011  
• Zora - Tuesday, May 17, 2011
• Angels - Tuesday, May 17, 2011
• On Love and Intimacy - Monday, May 16, 2011
• Awe and Wonder: Life - Saturday, May 14, 2011
• Micah: The Dream-Vision - Friday, May 13, 2011
• New Website - Tuesday, January 26, 2010

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