|
|
|
|
Blogs by Stan Grimes
Beer 3/15/2008 10:32:33 AM He grabbed me around my slender neck
I could not call or scream.
He dragged me to my dingy room
where we could not be seen.
He tore away my flimsy wrap
and gazed upon my form.
I was so cold and damp and scared
while he was dry and warm.
He pressed his feverish lips to mine
I could not make him stop.
He drained me of my inner self
I gave him every drop.
Then he cast me from his side
so now you see me here.
An empty bottle thrown away
that once was full of beer.
Post a Comment new!
More Blogs by Stan Grimes Her and His Diaries - Friday, May 01, 2009 A Seven Year Old's View of Beer - Monday, April 27, 2009 A Senior Moment - Wednesday, April 15, 2009 Proofreading is a Dying Art - Tuesday, April 14, 2009 Lent For Bubba - Friday, April 10, 2009 Never Listen To A Drunk - Tuesday, April 07, 2009 Choosing A Wife - Thursday, April 02, 2009 Putting Your Affairs In Order - Tuesday, March 31, 2009 Late Again - Saturday, March 28, 2009 Dealing With 9-1-1 When You're Old - Wednesday, March 25, 2009 Rectum Stretcher - Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Just A Weee Bit - Friday, March 20, 2009 Finally Together - Tuesday, March 17, 2009 Which Hole Am I On? - Monday, March 16, 2009 Letter To The Bank - Saturday, March 14, 2009 AAADD - Wednesday, March 11, 2009 Jokes - Monday, March 09, 2009 Good News For Americans - Sunday, March 08, 2009 Free "Living Will" Template - Friday, March 06, 2009 Slow Down - Thursday, March 05, 2009 New Wine For Seniors? - Wednesday, March 04, 2009 Jokes You Can Tell In Church - Sunday, March 01, 2009 The Tired Nurse - Monday, February 23, 2009 Wisdom - Sunday, February 22, 2009 Some Really Lousy Blonde Jokes - Saturday, February 21, 2009 Silly Questions - Thursday, February 19, 2009 Poem For A Woman (A Late Valentine's Day Present) - Monday, February 16, 2009 Rye Bread - Thursday, February 12, 2009 Buy American - Saturday, February 07, 2009 Strange Headlines (you figure it out) - Friday, February 06, 2009 Adult Riddles - Thursday, February 05, 2009 Polish Divorce - Monday, February 02, 2009 Ten Husbands - Sunday, February 01, 2009 Gynecologist Becomes A Mechanic - Tuesday, January 27, 2009 Doctor's Visit - Monday, January 26, 2009 Fishing Trip - Thursday, January 22, 2009 English 101 - Thursday, January 22, 2009 Really Bad Puns - Wednesday, January 21, 2009 We're In Big Trouble - Tuesday, January 20, 2009 DUI Texas Style - Monday, January 19, 2009 The Dial - Sunday, January 18, 2009 A Virgin's Confession - Saturday, January 17, 2009 Just Another Political Trial - Friday, January 09, 2009 Bee Sting - Thursday, December 25, 2008 Games To Play When You Get Older - Wednesday, December 10, 2008 A Different Perspective On The Bailout Plan - Friday, December 05, 2008 Happy Thanksgiving - Monday, November 24, 2008 Happy Thanksgiving - Monday, November 24, 2008 $1.99 Special - Monday, November 24, 2008 Can Poetry Heal? - Sunday, November 23, 2008 Peanuts - Saturday, November 22, 2008 Blonde Football Fan - Friday, November 21, 2008 Fish Heads - Monday, November 17, 2008 When Will I Die? - Monday, November 10, 2008 Golf Championship - Sunday, November 09, 2008 Elephant Cure - Friday, October 31, 2008 The Lost Son - Tuesday, October 28, 2008 Seeing Trees - Friday, October 24, 2008 Magic Mirror - Thursday, October 23, 2008 Hospital Charts - Wednesday, October 22, 2008 Scared Dad - Tuesday, October 21, 2008 Peeing In Church - Sunday, October 19, 2008 More Good Advice - Thursday, October 16, 2008 All The Same - Tuesday, October 14, 2008 Investment - Monday, October 13, 2008 Strange Braille - Saturday, October 11, 2008 Spitting In The Drink - Thursday, October 09, 2008 Elderly Humor - Wednesday, October 08, 2008 Viagra - Monday, October 06, 2008 She's With God Now - Sunday, October 05, 2008 Perfect Date - Saturday, October 04, 2008 Retirement Plans - Friday, October 03, 2008 Good Advice For The Flu Season - Thursday, October 02, 2008 Blonde Painter - Wednesday, October 01, 2008 That's Gratitude For You - Tuesday, September 30, 2008 Kitty Stutter - Monday, September 29, 2008 Now This A Plan I Can Live With - Sunday, September 28, 2008 It's A Monk's Life - Friday, September 26, 2008 Daily News - Thursday, September 25, 2008 CEO Letters - Wednesday, September 24, 2008 Southern Girl - Tuesday, September 23, 2008 Three Little Pigs - Monday, September 22, 2008 Baptism of a Drunk - Thursday, September 18, 2008 Sears Order - Wednesday, September 17, 2008 Interesting Measurements - Tuesday, September 16, 2008 The Interview - Monday, September 15, 2008 Small World - Sunday, September 14, 2008 Cold Hands - Friday, September 12, 2008 Top Ten Dirty Lawyer Sayings - Thursday, September 11, 2008 No Come To Work Today - Wednesday, September 10, 2008 Woman's Multiplication - Tuesday, September 09, 2008 Thought For The Day - Monday, September 08, 2008 Stop or Slow Down? - Sunday, September 07, 2008 Alimony - Friday, September 05, 2008 Gorilla Love - Thursday, September 04, 2008 Wild Things - Wednesday, September 03, 2008 Doctor's Cure - Tuesday, September 02, 2008 Signs - Friday, August 29, 2008 PMS Jewelry - Thursday, August 28, 2008 Wrong Number - Wednesday, August 27, 2008 Snake Bite - Tuesday, August 26, 2008 Viagra For The Elderly - Monday, August 25, 2008 Pregnancy Advice - Sunday, August 24, 2008 Playing Doctor - Thursday, August 21, 2008 Rules Are Rules - Wednesday, August 20, 2008 Wal-Mart Greeter - Monday, August 18, 2008 Marvelous Thoughts - Sunday, August 17, 2008 Turning 92 - Friday, August 15, 2008 T-Day - Tuesday, August 12, 2008 Happy Mental Health Day - Monday, August 11, 2008 Before It Starts - Sunday, August 10, 2008 Retire And Have Fun - Thursday, August 07, 2008 Frozen Skunk - Tuesday, August 05, 2008 Six Affairs - Monday, August 04, 2008 Who's The Boss? - Sunday, August 03, 2008 Blondes And Their Pigs - Saturday, August 02, 2008 Customs - Friday, August 01, 2008 Peace - Thursday, July 31, 2008 Dying of Thirst - Wednesday, July 30, 2008 Kind Assassins - Tuesday, July 29, 2008 Genie's Wish - Monday, July 28, 2008 Drum Roll Please - Sunday, July 27, 2008 Amazingly Simple Fixes For Your Home - Saturday, July 26, 2008 A Blonde's Prayer (Sorry????) - Tuesday, July 22, 2008 Social Security Application - Monday, July 21, 2008 It Died - Friday, July 18, 2008 Things That Make You Go "Huh?" - Thursday, July 17, 2008 Love Notes - Wednesday, July 16, 2008 The Mystery Is Solved - Tuesday, July 15, 2008 Little Joke From The Outback - Monday, July 14, 2008 Good Reason - Sunday, July 13, 2008 Have You Heard? - Saturday, July 12, 2008 And Who Says We're Not Green? - Friday, July 11, 2008 The Ballerina - Wednesday, July 09, 2008 The Exam - Monday, July 07, 2008 Shortest Books Ever Written - Sunday, July 06, 2008 Bill - Friday, July 04, 2008 Old Timers' Wedding - Wednesday, July 02, 2008 A Journal To Make You Giggle - Monday, June 30, 2008 Under The Table - Sunday, June 29, 2008 New Tattoo - Saturday, June 28, 2008 The Old Hunter - Friday, June 27, 2008 Michelle and Cindy: Are They Fair Game? - Thursday, June 26, 2008 The Sudden Death of My "Near-Daily" Joke Blogs - Tuesday, June 24, 2008 Cardboard Men - Monday, June 23, 2008 Some Things You Should Know - Sunday, June 22, 2008 No Wonder I'm Tired - Saturday, June 21, 2008 Oops - Friday, June 20, 2008 Medical Miracles - Thursday, June 19, 2008 Brits vs. Irish - Wednesday, June 18, 2008 Thanks For All Those Emails??? - Tuesday, June 17, 2008 Yet Another Blind Date - Monday, June 16, 2008 The Brothel - Sunday, June 15, 2008 Ten Signs Your Son is Too Old to Breast Feed - Saturday, June 14, 2008 The History of Manure - Friday, June 13, 2008 Just Another Bar Joke - Thursday, June 12, 2008 AARP Quiz - Wednesday, June 11, 2008 Just Some Jokes - Tuesday, June 10, 2008 Custom Made Car For Women - Monday, June 09, 2008 Helga - Sunday, June 08, 2008 You Know You're On A Bad Date When: - Saturday, June 07, 2008 The Biggest and Best Known LIes - Friday, June 06, 2008 Summer Job - Thursday, June 05, 2008 Another "Man-Walks-Into-A-Tavern" Joke - Wednesday, June 04, 2008 What's The Worst Age? - Tuesday, June 03, 2008 Beer Troubleshooting - Monday, June 02, 2008 GM vs Microsoft - Sunday, June 01, 2008 Car Puppy - Saturday, May 31, 2008 Beauty - Friday, May 30, 2008 Misunderstanding - Thursday, May 29, 2008 Redneck Vacation - Wednesday, May 28, 2008 Tide Letter - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 It's That Time Again - Monday, May 26, 2008 New Bowling Rules - Thursday, May 22, 2008 Headlines - Wednesday, May 21, 2008 Ah, Those Golden Years - Tuesday, May 20, 2008 The Good Driver Award - Monday, May 19, 2008 Knock Knock - Sunday, May 18, 2008 Ultrasonic Watch - Saturday, May 17, 2008 Thoughts I Can Relate To - Thursday, May 15, 2008 Dear Landlord - Wednesday, May 14, 2008 T-Shirt Slogans For Women - Tuesday, May 13, 2008 For Hire - Monday, May 12, 2008 Bubba - Sunday, May 11, 2008 The Funeral - Friday, May 09, 2008 Yet Another Blonde Joke - Thursday, May 08, 2008 Blessings From The Pope - Wednesday, May 07, 2008 Men: Cure For Migraines - Tuesday, May 06, 2008 Pay Your Bills - Monday, May 05, 2008 Sorry - Sunday, May 04, 2008 Fishy - Friday, May 02, 2008 Breast Biting - Thursday, May 01, 2008 Camel Ride? - Wednesday, April 30, 2008 Privates - Tuesday, April 29, 2008 Free Meat - Monday, April 28, 2008 Earth Day - Sunday, April 27, 2008 Newfie Joke - Saturday, April 26, 2008 Opening Speech - Friday, April 25, 2008 Married Life - Thursday, April 24, 2008 Sad Story - Wednesday, April 23, 2008 Ten Times Larger - Tuesday, April 22, 2008 Warranty - Monday, April 21, 2008 Hymns For Every Occasion - Sunday, April 20, 2008 Ten Ways To Stop Those Annoying Tele-Marketers - Saturday, April 19, 2008 Three Sons - Friday, April 18, 2008 Riding The Horse - Thursday, April 17, 2008 The Elderly Explorer - Wednesday, April 16, 2008 The Older Husband - Tuesday, April 15, 2008 New "Living Will" Form - Monday, April 14, 2008 Need Glasses? - Sunday, April 13, 2008 1977 vs. 2007 - Saturday, April 12, 2008 It's Nothing - Friday, April 11, 2008 Oops! - Thursday, April 10, 2008 Test For FBI Agents - Wednesday, April 09, 2008 When In Doubt Tell A Wailing Wall Joke - Tuesday, April 08, 2008 Seems Logical - Monday, April 07, 2008 Air Pressure - Sunday, April 06, 2008 Two Little Birds - Saturday, April 05, 2008 Honor Your Rights - Friday, April 04, 2008 The Frog (Sorry It's The Best I Can Do Today) - Thursday, April 03, 2008 Two Pieces Of Meat (The Pun Of The Century) - Wednesday, April 02, 2008 A Very Important Question - Tuesday, April 01, 2008 Questions, Questions, Questions - Monday, March 31, 2008 Strange Funeral Procession - Sunday, March 30, 2008 Interesting Study By FDA - Saturday, March 29, 2008 Three Ladies - Friday, March 28, 2008 His And Hers ATMs - Thursday, March 27, 2008 Irish Daughter - Wednesday, March 26, 2008 Fatal Things To Say To Your Pregnant Wife - Monday, March 24, 2008 Brass Rat - Sunday, March 23, 2008 You Might See These Girls In A Restroom - Saturday, March 22, 2008 The Blonde And The Trucker - Friday, March 21, 2008 9 Words Women Use: Beware Men - Thursday, March 20, 2008 Laws of Golf - Wednesday, March 19, 2008 Heart Healthy Advice - Tuesday, March 18, 2008 Comments That Got Some Folks Into Trouble - Monday, March 17, 2008 Sick of Blonde Jokes? - Sunday, March 16, 2008 Beer - Saturday, March 15, 2008 An Unfamiliar Tap - Friday, March 14, 2008 Family Feud - Thursday, March 13, 2008 Another Pathetic Irish Joke - Wednesday, March 12, 2008 A Few Laughs - Tuesday, March 11, 2008 God Answers Prayer - Monday, March 10, 2008 Psychology - Sunday, March 09, 2008 Restroom Talk - Saturday, March 08, 2008 Okay, So Maybe It's Not That Funny - Friday, March 07, 2008 Sick Bar Mitzvah Joke - Thursday, March 06, 2008 The Philosophy Of Ambiguity - Wednesday, March 05, 2008 Just One More - Tuesday, March 04, 2008 Grace Under Fire - Monday, March 03, 2008 Important Religious Truths - Sunday, March 02, 2008 Undertaker Joke - Saturday, March 01, 2008 A Few Quickies - Thursday, February 28, 2008 A Wise Doctor - Wednesday, February 27, 2008 Good Things About Being Over Sixty - Tuesday, February 26, 2008 Don't Catch A Cold - Monday, February 25, 2008 Confucious Say: - Sunday, February 24, 2008 Oops! - Saturday, February 23, 2008 Red Skeleton's Tip For Keeping A Marriage Together - Friday, February 22, 2008 Sumbitch - Thursday, February 21, 2008 Pet Fish - Wednesday, February 20, 2008 The Deer Hunters - Tuesday, February 19, 2008 Fallen Angels - Monday, February 18, 2008 Thanks Officer - Sunday, February 17, 2008 Actual Complaints - Saturday, February 16, 2008 They're Getting Worse - Friday, February 15, 2008 Valentine Poem For All My Friends - Thursday, February 14, 2008 Dog Lovers - Wednesday, February 13, 2008 The Pianist? - Tuesday, February 12, 2008 Donald Duck - Monday, February 11, 2008 My Bad? - Sunday, February 10, 2008 Whew! - Saturday, February 09, 2008 The Blind Bunny - Friday, February 08, 2008 Astro NOTS - Thursday, February 07, 2008 Poor Boy - Wednesday, February 06, 2008 A.A.A.D.D. - Tuesday, February 05, 2008 Walmart Greeter - Monday, February 04, 2008 Chemical Composition Of Humankind - Sunday, February 03, 2008 The Parable of the Campaign - Saturday, February 02, 2008 The Artist - Friday, February 01, 2008 Stay - Thursday, January 31, 2008 Peacock - Wednesday, January 30, 2008 A Real Stud - Tuesday, January 29, 2008 Politics - Monday, January 28, 2008 Yet Another Blonde Joke - Sunday, January 27, 2008 Not Another Lawyer Joke...Please - Saturday, January 26, 2008 Disorder In The Courts - Friday, January 25, 2008 The Psychiatrist and The Proctologist - Thursday, January 24, 2008 A Horse, A Harley, And A Chicken - Wednesday, January 23, 2008 Food - Tuesday, January 22, 2008 No Cure Found - Monday, January 21, 2008 The Good, Bad, and The Ugly - Sunday, January 20, 2008 Air Sick - Saturday, January 19, 2008 TGIF - Friday, January 18, 2008 What, No Knickers? - Thursday, January 17, 2008 Hell To Get Old - Wednesday, January 16, 2008 Dear Abbey - Tuesday, January 15, 2008 Can't Take It With You, Or Can You? - Monday, January 14, 2008 Viagra - Sunday, January 13, 2008 Anything? - Saturday, January 12, 2008
|
|