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Stan Grimes

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Blogs by Stan Grimes

Top Ten Dirty Lawyer Sayings
9/11/2008 10:43:12 AM
The top ten things that sound dirty in law (but aren't!)
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last
minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be
good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one
he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?



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More Blogs by Stan Grimes
• Her and His Diaries - Friday, May 01, 2009
• A Seven Year Old's View of Beer - Monday, April 27, 2009
• A Senior Moment - Wednesday, April 15, 2009
• Proofreading is a Dying Art - Tuesday, April 14, 2009
• Lent For Bubba - Friday, April 10, 2009
• Never Listen To A Drunk - Tuesday, April 07, 2009
• Choosing A Wife - Thursday, April 02, 2009
• Putting Your Affairs In Order - Tuesday, March 31, 2009
• Late Again - Saturday, March 28, 2009
• Dealing With 9-1-1 When You're Old - Wednesday, March 25, 2009
• Rectum Stretcher - Tuesday, March 24, 2009
• Just A Weee Bit - Friday, March 20, 2009
• Finally Together - Tuesday, March 17, 2009
• Which Hole Am I On? - Monday, March 16, 2009
• Letter To The Bank - Saturday, March 14, 2009
• AAADD - Wednesday, March 11, 2009
• Jokes - Monday, March 09, 2009
• Good News For Americans - Sunday, March 08, 2009
• Free "Living Will" Template - Friday, March 06, 2009
• Slow Down - Thursday, March 05, 2009
• New Wine For Seniors? - Wednesday, March 04, 2009
• Jokes You Can Tell In Church - Sunday, March 01, 2009
• The Tired Nurse - Monday, February 23, 2009
• Wisdom - Sunday, February 22, 2009
• Some Really Lousy Blonde Jokes - Saturday, February 21, 2009
• Silly Questions - Thursday, February 19, 2009
• Poem For A Woman (A Late Valentine's Day Present) - Monday, February 16, 2009
• Rye Bread - Thursday, February 12, 2009
• Buy American - Saturday, February 07, 2009
• Strange Headlines (you figure it out) - Friday, February 06, 2009
• Adult Riddles - Thursday, February 05, 2009
• Polish Divorce - Monday, February 02, 2009
• Ten Husbands - Sunday, February 01, 2009
• Gynecologist Becomes A Mechanic - Tuesday, January 27, 2009
• Doctor's Visit - Monday, January 26, 2009
• Fishing Trip - Thursday, January 22, 2009
• English 101 - Thursday, January 22, 2009
• Really Bad Puns - Wednesday, January 21, 2009
• We're In Big Trouble - Tuesday, January 20, 2009
• DUI Texas Style - Monday, January 19, 2009
• The Dial - Sunday, January 18, 2009
• A Virgin's Confession - Saturday, January 17, 2009
• Just Another Political Trial - Friday, January 09, 2009
• Bee Sting - Thursday, December 25, 2008
• Games To Play When You Get Older - Wednesday, December 10, 2008
• A Different Perspective On The Bailout Plan - Friday, December 05, 2008
• Happy Thanksgiving - Monday, November 24, 2008
• Happy Thanksgiving - Monday, November 24, 2008
• $1.99 Special - Monday, November 24, 2008
• Can Poetry Heal? - Sunday, November 23, 2008
• Peanuts - Saturday, November 22, 2008
• Blonde Football Fan - Friday, November 21, 2008
• Fish Heads - Monday, November 17, 2008
• When Will I Die? - Monday, November 10, 2008
• Golf Championship - Sunday, November 09, 2008
• Elephant Cure - Friday, October 31, 2008
• The Lost Son - Tuesday, October 28, 2008
• Seeing Trees - Friday, October 24, 2008
• Magic Mirror - Thursday, October 23, 2008
• Hospital Charts - Wednesday, October 22, 2008
• Scared Dad - Tuesday, October 21, 2008
• Peeing In Church - Sunday, October 19, 2008
• More Good Advice - Thursday, October 16, 2008
• All The Same - Tuesday, October 14, 2008
• Investment - Monday, October 13, 2008
• Strange Braille - Saturday, October 11, 2008
• Spitting In The Drink - Thursday, October 09, 2008
• Elderly Humor - Wednesday, October 08, 2008
• Viagra - Monday, October 06, 2008
• She's With God Now - Sunday, October 05, 2008
• Perfect Date - Saturday, October 04, 2008
• Retirement Plans - Friday, October 03, 2008
• Good Advice For The Flu Season - Thursday, October 02, 2008
• Blonde Painter - Wednesday, October 01, 2008
• That's Gratitude For You - Tuesday, September 30, 2008
• Kitty Stutter - Monday, September 29, 2008
• Now This A Plan I Can Live With - Sunday, September 28, 2008
• It's A Monk's Life - Friday, September 26, 2008
• Daily News - Thursday, September 25, 2008
• CEO Letters - Wednesday, September 24, 2008
• Southern Girl - Tuesday, September 23, 2008
• Three Little Pigs - Monday, September 22, 2008
• Baptism of a Drunk - Thursday, September 18, 2008
• Sears Order - Wednesday, September 17, 2008
• Interesting Measurements - Tuesday, September 16, 2008
• The Interview - Monday, September 15, 2008
• Small World - Sunday, September 14, 2008
• Cold Hands - Friday, September 12, 2008
•  Top Ten Dirty Lawyer Sayings - Thursday, September 11, 2008  
• No Come To Work Today - Wednesday, September 10, 2008
• Woman's Multiplication - Tuesday, September 09, 2008
• Thought For The Day - Monday, September 08, 2008
• Stop or Slow Down? - Sunday, September 07, 2008
• Alimony - Friday, September 05, 2008
• Gorilla Love - Thursday, September 04, 2008
• Wild Things - Wednesday, September 03, 2008
• Doctor's Cure - Tuesday, September 02, 2008
• Signs - Friday, August 29, 2008
• PMS Jewelry - Thursday, August 28, 2008
• Wrong Number - Wednesday, August 27, 2008
• Snake Bite - Tuesday, August 26, 2008
• Viagra For The Elderly - Monday, August 25, 2008
• Pregnancy Advice - Sunday, August 24, 2008
• Playing Doctor - Thursday, August 21, 2008
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• Wal-Mart Greeter - Monday, August 18, 2008
• Marvelous Thoughts - Sunday, August 17, 2008
• Turning 92 - Friday, August 15, 2008
• T-Day - Tuesday, August 12, 2008
• Happy Mental Health Day - Monday, August 11, 2008
• Before It Starts - Sunday, August 10, 2008
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• Six Affairs - Monday, August 04, 2008
• Who's The Boss? - Sunday, August 03, 2008
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• Customs - Friday, August 01, 2008
• Peace - Thursday, July 31, 2008
• Dying of Thirst - Wednesday, July 30, 2008
• Kind Assassins - Tuesday, July 29, 2008
• Genie's Wish - Monday, July 28, 2008
• Drum Roll Please - Sunday, July 27, 2008
• Amazingly Simple Fixes For Your Home - Saturday, July 26, 2008
• A Blonde's Prayer (Sorry????) - Tuesday, July 22, 2008
• Social Security Application - Monday, July 21, 2008
• It Died - Friday, July 18, 2008
• Things That Make You Go "Huh?" - Thursday, July 17, 2008
• Love Notes - Wednesday, July 16, 2008
• The Mystery Is Solved - Tuesday, July 15, 2008
• Little Joke From The Outback - Monday, July 14, 2008
• Good Reason - Sunday, July 13, 2008
• Have You Heard? - Saturday, July 12, 2008
• And Who Says We're Not Green? - Friday, July 11, 2008
• The Ballerina - Wednesday, July 09, 2008
• The Exam - Monday, July 07, 2008
• Shortest Books Ever Written - Sunday, July 06, 2008
• Bill - Friday, July 04, 2008
• Old Timers' Wedding - Wednesday, July 02, 2008
• A Journal To Make You Giggle - Monday, June 30, 2008
• Under The Table - Sunday, June 29, 2008
• New Tattoo - Saturday, June 28, 2008
• The Old Hunter - Friday, June 27, 2008
• Michelle and Cindy: Are They Fair Game? - Thursday, June 26, 2008
• The Sudden Death of My "Near-Daily" Joke Blogs - Tuesday, June 24, 2008
• Cardboard Men - Monday, June 23, 2008
• Some Things You Should Know - Sunday, June 22, 2008
• No Wonder I'm Tired - Saturday, June 21, 2008
• Oops - Friday, June 20, 2008
• Medical Miracles - Thursday, June 19, 2008
• Brits vs. Irish - Wednesday, June 18, 2008
• Thanks For All Those Emails??? - Tuesday, June 17, 2008
• Yet Another Blind Date - Monday, June 16, 2008
• The Brothel - Sunday, June 15, 2008
• Ten Signs Your Son is Too Old to Breast Feed - Saturday, June 14, 2008
• The History of Manure - Friday, June 13, 2008
• Just Another Bar Joke - Thursday, June 12, 2008
• AARP Quiz - Wednesday, June 11, 2008
• Just Some Jokes - Tuesday, June 10, 2008
• Custom Made Car For Women - Monday, June 09, 2008
• Helga - Sunday, June 08, 2008
• You Know You're On A Bad Date When: - Saturday, June 07, 2008
• The Biggest and Best Known LIes - Friday, June 06, 2008
• Summer Job - Thursday, June 05, 2008
• Another "Man-Walks-Into-A-Tavern" Joke - Wednesday, June 04, 2008
• What's The Worst Age? - Tuesday, June 03, 2008
• Beer Troubleshooting - Monday, June 02, 2008
• GM vs Microsoft - Sunday, June 01, 2008
• Car Puppy - Saturday, May 31, 2008
• Beauty - Friday, May 30, 2008
• Misunderstanding - Thursday, May 29, 2008
• Redneck Vacation - Wednesday, May 28, 2008
• Tide Letter - Tuesday, May 27, 2008
• It's That Time Again - Monday, May 26, 2008
• New Bowling Rules - Thursday, May 22, 2008
• Headlines - Wednesday, May 21, 2008
• Ah, Those Golden Years - Tuesday, May 20, 2008
• The Good Driver Award - Monday, May 19, 2008
• Knock Knock - Sunday, May 18, 2008
• Ultrasonic Watch - Saturday, May 17, 2008
• Thoughts I Can Relate To - Thursday, May 15, 2008
• Dear Landlord - Wednesday, May 14, 2008
• T-Shirt Slogans For Women - Tuesday, May 13, 2008
• For Hire - Monday, May 12, 2008
• Bubba - Sunday, May 11, 2008
• The Funeral - Friday, May 09, 2008
• Yet Another Blonde Joke - Thursday, May 08, 2008
• Blessings From The Pope - Wednesday, May 07, 2008
• Men: Cure For Migraines - Tuesday, May 06, 2008
• Pay Your Bills - Monday, May 05, 2008
• Sorry - Sunday, May 04, 2008
• Fishy - Friday, May 02, 2008
• Breast Biting - Thursday, May 01, 2008
• Camel Ride? - Wednesday, April 30, 2008
• Privates - Tuesday, April 29, 2008
• Free Meat - Monday, April 28, 2008
• Earth Day - Sunday, April 27, 2008
• Newfie Joke - Saturday, April 26, 2008
• Opening Speech - Friday, April 25, 2008
• Married Life - Thursday, April 24, 2008
• Sad Story - Wednesday, April 23, 2008
• Ten Times Larger - Tuesday, April 22, 2008
• Warranty - Monday, April 21, 2008
• Hymns For Every Occasion - Sunday, April 20, 2008
• Ten Ways To Stop Those Annoying Tele-Marketers - Saturday, April 19, 2008
• Three Sons - Friday, April 18, 2008
• Riding The Horse - Thursday, April 17, 2008
• The Elderly Explorer - Wednesday, April 16, 2008
• The Older Husband - Tuesday, April 15, 2008
• New "Living Will" Form - Monday, April 14, 2008
• Need Glasses? - Sunday, April 13, 2008
• 1977 vs. 2007 - Saturday, April 12, 2008
• It's Nothing - Friday, April 11, 2008
• Oops! - Thursday, April 10, 2008
• Test For FBI Agents - Wednesday, April 09, 2008
• When In Doubt Tell A Wailing Wall Joke - Tuesday, April 08, 2008
• Seems Logical - Monday, April 07, 2008
• Air Pressure - Sunday, April 06, 2008
• Two Little Birds - Saturday, April 05, 2008
• Honor Your Rights - Friday, April 04, 2008
• The Frog (Sorry It's The Best I Can Do Today) - Thursday, April 03, 2008
• Two Pieces Of Meat (The Pun Of The Century) - Wednesday, April 02, 2008
• A Very Important Question - Tuesday, April 01, 2008
• Questions, Questions, Questions - Monday, March 31, 2008
• Strange Funeral Procession - Sunday, March 30, 2008
• Interesting Study By FDA - Saturday, March 29, 2008
• Three Ladies - Friday, March 28, 2008
• His And Hers ATMs - Thursday, March 27, 2008
• Irish Daughter - Wednesday, March 26, 2008
• Fatal Things To Say To Your Pregnant Wife - Monday, March 24, 2008
• Brass Rat - Sunday, March 23, 2008
• You Might See These Girls In A Restroom - Saturday, March 22, 2008
• The Blonde And The Trucker - Friday, March 21, 2008
• 9 Words Women Use: Beware Men - Thursday, March 20, 2008
• Laws of Golf - Wednesday, March 19, 2008
• Heart Healthy Advice - Tuesday, March 18, 2008
• Comments That Got Some Folks Into Trouble - Monday, March 17, 2008
• Sick of Blonde Jokes? - Sunday, March 16, 2008
• Beer - Saturday, March 15, 2008
• An Unfamiliar Tap - Friday, March 14, 2008
• Family Feud - Thursday, March 13, 2008
• Another Pathetic Irish Joke - Wednesday, March 12, 2008
• A Few Laughs - Tuesday, March 11, 2008
• God Answers Prayer - Monday, March 10, 2008
• Psychology - Sunday, March 09, 2008
• Restroom Talk - Saturday, March 08, 2008
• Okay, So Maybe It's Not That Funny - Friday, March 07, 2008
• Sick Bar Mitzvah Joke - Thursday, March 06, 2008
• The Philosophy Of Ambiguity - Wednesday, March 05, 2008
• Just One More - Tuesday, March 04, 2008
• Grace Under Fire - Monday, March 03, 2008
• Important Religious Truths - Sunday, March 02, 2008
• Undertaker Joke - Saturday, March 01, 2008
• A Few Quickies - Thursday, February 28, 2008
• A Wise Doctor - Wednesday, February 27, 2008
• Good Things About Being Over Sixty - Tuesday, February 26, 2008
• Don't Catch A Cold - Monday, February 25, 2008
• Confucious Say: - Sunday, February 24, 2008
• Oops! - Saturday, February 23, 2008
• Red Skeleton's Tip For Keeping A Marriage Together - Friday, February 22, 2008
• Sumbitch - Thursday, February 21, 2008
• Pet Fish - Wednesday, February 20, 2008
• The Deer Hunters - Tuesday, February 19, 2008
• Fallen Angels - Monday, February 18, 2008
• Thanks Officer - Sunday, February 17, 2008
• Actual Complaints - Saturday, February 16, 2008
• They're Getting Worse - Friday, February 15, 2008
• Valentine Poem For All My Friends - Thursday, February 14, 2008
• Dog Lovers - Wednesday, February 13, 2008
• The Pianist? - Tuesday, February 12, 2008
• Donald Duck - Monday, February 11, 2008
• My Bad? - Sunday, February 10, 2008
• Whew! - Saturday, February 09, 2008
• The Blind Bunny - Friday, February 08, 2008
• Astro NOTS - Thursday, February 07, 2008
• Poor Boy - Wednesday, February 06, 2008
• A.A.A.D.D. - Tuesday, February 05, 2008
• Walmart Greeter - Monday, February 04, 2008
• Chemical Composition Of Humankind - Sunday, February 03, 2008
• The Parable of the Campaign - Saturday, February 02, 2008
• The Artist - Friday, February 01, 2008
• Stay - Thursday, January 31, 2008
• Peacock - Wednesday, January 30, 2008
• A Real Stud - Tuesday, January 29, 2008
• Politics - Monday, January 28, 2008
• Yet Another Blonde Joke - Sunday, January 27, 2008
• Not Another Lawyer Joke...Please - Saturday, January 26, 2008
• Disorder In The Courts - Friday, January 25, 2008
• The Psychiatrist and The Proctologist - Thursday, January 24, 2008
• A Horse, A Harley, And A Chicken - Wednesday, January 23, 2008
• Food - Tuesday, January 22, 2008
• No Cure Found - Monday, January 21, 2008
• The Good, Bad, and The Ugly - Sunday, January 20, 2008
• Air Sick - Saturday, January 19, 2008
• TGIF - Friday, January 18, 2008
• What, No Knickers? - Thursday, January 17, 2008
• Hell To Get Old - Wednesday, January 16, 2008
• Dear Abbey - Tuesday, January 15, 2008
• Can't Take It With You, Or Can You? - Monday, January 14, 2008
• Viagra - Sunday, January 13, 2008
• Anything? - Saturday, January 12, 2008


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