Although I have been inundated with student papers and juggling several online classes, I thought it was time I took a short break and shared some insightful commentary with my half dozen or so readers, so here it is.

Yesterday I was thinking, which, as I have previously established, is something I do on occasion, regardless of what my ex-husband would say; and, this time, I was pondering the importance of a writer’s selecting just the right word in order to convey his or her message with clarity, conciseness, accuracy, and, when warranted, perhaps even a little pizzazz.

Of course, I immediately recognized that I was probably pondering along these lines because I had just finished grading the latest batch of student papers, and it seems that students (Lord love ‘em) invariably possess the rather uncanny ability to select just the wrong word when it comes to conveying their messages, so much so that the reader (yours truly in this case) is oftentimes left quite befuddled and bewildered.

Anyway, as I continued contemplating this topic, I was struck with the realization (call it an epiphany if you wish) of just how many well-known expressions and even notable works would be far less memorable—perhaps even unremembered—had the people who coined them selected entirely different words in order to convey their messages. For example, what if Paul Revere, instead of shouting “The British are coming! The British are coming!” as he galloped across the dark New England countryside, had yelled out,  “The Celtic descendents’ arrival is imminent! The Celtic descendents’ arrival is imminent!” Hmm, doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it?

And, yes, in case you’re curious, I did come up with some additional examples:

1.      Patrick Henry: “Give me liberty or give me death!”—“Provide me with lack of restrictions or impart upon me a fatal outcome!”

2.      General William S. Sherman: “War is hell.”—“Armed conflict is an extremely disagreeable experience.”

3.      Elizabeth Barrett Browning: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: I love thee to the height, breadth, and depth my soul can reach when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace.”—“In what ways do I feel affection for you? Allow me to enumerate the methods: I find you irresistible to the tallness, wideness, and deepness my psyche can obtain when groping out of view for the trimmings of reality and superlative divine influence.”

4.      Franklin D. Roosevelt: “This is a day that will go down in infamy.”—“This is a 24-hour period that will descend into notoriety.”

5.      Scarlett O’Hara: “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”—“I will ponder the situation the day after today.”

6.      Mother Goose: “Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.”—“ Jack and Jill ascended the elevated portion of the earth’s surface in order to retrieve a tin container of H2O. Jack toppled over and fractured his cranium, and Jill came somersaulting in arrears.”

7.      John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”—“Don’t question what the motherland is capable of contributing to your welfare; instead, question what you are able to contribute to the motherland.”

8.       Shakespeare: “To be or not to be, that is the question.”—“Whether to continue to exist or not to continue, that is the inquiry.”

9.      Descartes: “I think; therefore, I am.”—“I mull over ideas; for that reason, I be real.”

10.  Woody Allen: “You can’t ride two horses with one behind.”—“You are unable to stay astride two equines if you have only one butt.”

And that’s it for tonight.