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Carol Culver Rzadkiewicz

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Blogs by Carol Culver Rzadkiewicz

Water, Water, Everywhere
8/7/2008 10:44:10 PM
We are gullible, which is why when we see ads for fancy bottled water on television, in magazines, or in newspapers, we believe what the advertisers tell us.

 

“Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink,” or so says the narrator in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s masterful poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.” The funny thing, however, is that most people today must feel the same way, even here in the real world, specifically right here in the good old USA. Water, water, everywhere, yet we haven’t a drop to drink. Well, that is unless it comes in a plastic bottle.  

 

“And just why is that the case?” you ask, looking puzzled.

 

It’s the case because why else would we Americans be spending a fortune each year on bottled water? 

 

“A fortune?” you echo. “Yeah, right.”

 

Yes, that is exactly right. After all, according to Doctor Gott’s column in Thursday’s The Advocate, my newspaper of choice, “Americans spent $11 billion on bottled water in 2006” (2008, p. 1E). And just think about it. If we spent $11 billion in 2006, don’t you think that amount has increased significantly, given it is now 2008? Heck, for all we know, the figure is now $15 billion or more. Who can say? I can’t, but what I can say is that I agree with Doctor Gott. Then again, I usually agree with Doctor Gott since, unlike most doctors, he actually makes sense. Plus, he is a staunch advocate of preventive medicine and also believes that high-priced drugs and even pricier invasive procedures should be avenues of last resort. But that’s another blog topic, so let’s get back to America’s consumption of bottled water.

 

I also agree with the good doctor’s contention that bottled water provides no advantages over plain old tap water. In fact, I think in some cases tap water is far better for us. As proof, did you know that a major water-bottling company recently found cleaning solvent in its water, but a little too late in my opinion, since shipments of the contaminated water had already been sold to consumers? (I’m not going to name the company since I don’t have the research to support this story. However, Chet told me about this event after he read an article at some site on the Internet, and, as we all know, the Internet is the vanguard of truth in today’s world, which means, ergo, the story must be true (I mean that facetiously, of course). Anyway, true story or not, the reality is that we have plenty of water that we can consume either for free or at very little expense. Instead, however, we choose to purchase water with fancy names like Opium Springs, Aquatic Liqueur, or Super Duper Dipperful of Water (I made those up), and the question is why.

 

You say, “I think it’s because—”

 

Look, that was a rhetorical question, which means you are not meant to answer it except perhaps in your head. So, as I was about to say before you so rudely interrupted, the question is why; and, of course, the answer is because we are gullible. Yes, that’s right. We are gullible, which is why when we see ads for fancy bottled water on television, in magazines, or in newspapers, we believe what the advertisers tell us. We believe that drinking bottled water is better for us because the water that comes in those bottles is purer and, therefore, safer. Of course, some people also believe that carrying around a bottle of water with a fancy label on it makes them appear more urbane (That means sophisticated). Yet others believe that bottled water is more thirst quenching than regular water. Yeah, right, I say to this latter group. In case you haven’t noticed, one type of water is just as wet as the other. Water is, after all, water; and regardless of whether it comes from a bottle, a faucet, or the sky, water will quench your thirst. So, with that in mind, save yourself some money and go stick your head under the faucet. Of course, if you want to appear a bit more sophisticated, you can always reuse one of those fancy plastic bottles you bought. Just fill it from the tap. Trust me, no one will ever know the difference.

 

 

 

Gott, P. “Bottled Water not Worth Cost.” The Advocate. Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Thursday, August 07, 2008. p. 1E. 



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More Blogs by Carol Culver Rzadkiewicz
• Have You Ever Wondered? - Monday, February 08, 2010
• Students Write the Darnedest Things - Thursday, December 17, 2009
• Random Brain Droppings - Saturday, November 07, 2009
• To Twitter or not to Twitter, That Is the Question. - Monday, June 29, 2009
• Levy "Sin" Taxes on Actual Sins - Thursday, May 14, 2009
• What's New in My World? - Sunday, April 05, 2009
• To Blog or Not to Blog? - Sunday, March 08, 2009
• New Year's Predictions for 2009 - Thursday, January 01, 2009
• Christmas 2008 - Saturday, December 27, 2008
• What I Learn from the Newspaper - Thursday, December 11, 2008
• Totally Inane Messages - Monday, December 01, 2008
• Is America a "Civilized" Nation - Saturday, November 29, 2008
• What Thanksgiving Means - Wednesday, November 26, 2008
• Autumn, Sarah Palin, & Cultural Literacy - Sunday, November 09, 2008
• Thank You, America - Tuesday, November 04, 2008
• The Perfect Husband - Friday, October 24, 2008
• Sarah Who? - Monday, October 06, 2008
• Rats Abandoning a Sinking Ship - Friday, September 26, 2008
• Why Do So Many Students Detest Reading? - Monday, September 22, 2008
• What's in a Name? - Saturday, September 13, 2008
• Waiting for Gustav - Sunday, September 07, 2008
• It's Time for Change - Friday, August 29, 2008
• George Washington, He Ain't - Saturday, August 23, 2008
• More Money Than Common Sense - Friday, August 15, 2008
• The Loss of the Ability to Communicate - Thursday, August 14, 2008
• The Wonders of Modern Technology - Sunday, August 10, 2008
•  Water, Water, Everywhere - Thursday, August 07, 2008  
• A Different World - Sunday, August 03, 2008
• Thinking" Consumerism - Thursday, July 31, 2008
• Mr. Fix It -- Not My Husband - Saturday, July 26, 2008
• Pour Me Another Cup of Coffee - Sunday, July 20, 2008
• Southern Cooking - Friday, July 18, 2008
• The Value of Human Life - Friday, July 11, 2008
• Running on Empty - Sunday, July 06, 2008
• A Question of Respect - Friday, July 04, 2008
• Monkey See, Monkey Do - Thursday, July 03, 2008
• English Only - Tuesday, July 01, 2008
• Jesus for President - Friday, June 27, 2008
• Do You Believe in Bad Luck? - Thursday, June 26, 2008
• Existing versus Living - Tuesday, June 24, 2008
• The Rich Are Different - Sunday, June 22, 2008
• Spirit Dog -- Goodbye My Friend - Wednesday, June 18, 2008
• What's in a Name? - Tuesday, June 17, 2008
• Are Some People Really That Dumb? - Monday, June 16, 2008
• An Appalling State of Affairs - Wednesday, June 11, 2008
• The Ongoing Stupidity of the Human Race - Sunday, June 08, 2008
• Living in Fear - Friday, June 06, 2008
• An Epiphany about Survival - Monday, June 02, 2008
• Abusing the System -- Handouts from Uncle Sam - Saturday, May 31, 2008
• When 50 Cents Was a Fortune - Wednesday, May 28, 2008
• The Greed of the Human Race - Saturday, May 24, 2008
• I Have Been Living an Illusion - Friday, May 23, 2008
• Today's Children Lack Imagination - Sunday, May 18, 2008
• The Three Perfect Foods - Wednesday, May 14, 2008
• Kids & Pets Alone in Vehicles - Saturday, May 10, 2008
• Into the Valley of Death - Friday, May 09, 2008
• In Remembrance of Outhouses - Monday, May 05, 2008
• Family Is Family - Saturday, May 03, 2008
• Thank You, Mr. President - Thursday, May 01, 2008
• Just the Right Word - Thursday, April 24, 2008
• America, Overweight and Gaining: A Byproduct of Capitalism - Friday, April 18, 2008
• Only in Southern Louisiana - Wednesday, April 16, 2008
• Why I Don't Trust Doctors - Saturday, April 12, 2008
• Mama Wisdom - Thursday, April 10, 2008
• Who Is To Blame? - Tuesday, April 08, 2008
• Smoking Ain't So Bad for You After All - Friday, April 04, 2008
• In the News: Children Plot to Kill Teacher - Wednesday, April 02, 2008
• If I Were An Advice Columnist - Sunday, March 30, 2008
• In the News - Thursday, March 27, 2008
• How to Tell When You're Getting Old - Sunday, March 23, 2008
• The Most Heartbreaking Profession in the World - Wednesday, March 19, 2008
• My Kingdom for an Honest Politician - Friday, March 14, 2008
• Let's Simplify the Divorce Process - Sunday, March 09, 2008
• Restaurants Should Ban Kids, Not Smoking - Sunday, March 02, 2008
• Technology and the Destruction of Language - Friday, February 29, 2008
• Our Friend, Mr. Comma, and How He Is Being Abused - Thursday, February 28, 2008
• More on the Abuse of the English Language - Monday, February 25, 2008
• More on the Abuse of Words - Wednesday, February 20, 2008
• Slaughtering the Mother Tongue - Sunday, February 17, 2008
• Slaughter of the Innocents - Thursday, February 14, 2008
• Valentines Day - Bah, Humbug! - Wednesday, February 13, 2008
• Election Day - Saturday, February 09, 2008
• Today's Pathetic Television Fare - Wednesday, February 06, 2008
• Something Is Definitely Rotten in Denmark - Sunday, February 03, 2008
• Georgia Good Old Boys & Pickup Trucks - Thursday, January 31, 2008
• Shop 'til You Drop - Sunday, January 27, 2008
• The State of Our Economy - Friday, January 25, 2008
• Love Is Such a Little Word - Wednesday, January 23, 2008
• A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words - Monday, January 21, 2008
• Winning the Lottery - Saturday, January 19, 2008
• What Is Going On With Today's Children? - Wednesday, January 16, 2008
• Flip-Flopping -- The New Trend in Politics - Monday, January 14, 2008
• Religion - Walking the Walk - Saturday, January 12, 2008
• You Can't Transplant a Southerner - Friday, January 11, 2008
• Punishment --Southern Style - Thursday, January 10, 2008
• Today's Children - Wednesday, January 09, 2008
• I Love the South--Especially Our Language - Tuesday, January 08, 2008
• Freedom of Expression: Who Decides? - Monday, January 07, 2008
• You Can't Go Home Again - Sunday, January 06, 2008
• Predictions for 2008 - Friday, January 04, 2008
• Up, Up, and Away--The Price of Oil - Thursday, January 03, 2008
• High School Reunion - Tuesday, January 01, 2008
• New Year's Resolutions - Monday, December 31, 2007
• All God's Creatures, Great and Small - Sunday, December 30, 2007
• Send Me A Man (or Woman) Who Reads - Saturday, December 29, 2007
• Dante's Inferno--Revised - Friday, December 28, 2007
• America’s Expanding Waistline: A Byproduct of Capitalism - Friday, December 28, 2007
• Why We Cannot Live Deliberately - Wednesday, December 26, 2007
• The Ideal President -- My Opinion - Tuesday, December 25, 2007
• Going Deeper and Deeper into Debt - Monday, December 24, 2007
• Cell Phones -- Bane or Blessing? - Sunday, December 23, 2007
• Greed--A Natural Human Condition - Saturday, December 22, 2007
• So This Is Christmas? - Friday, December 21, 2007
• Rush Limbaugh & Double Standards - Thursday, December 20, 2007
• Growing Old Ain't for Sissies - Wednesday, December 19, 2007


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