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David A. Schwinghammer

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Member Since: Dec, 2007

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Books
· Soldier's Gap

· Soldier's Gap


Short Stories
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9

· Seminary Boy, a memoir

· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine

· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight

· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight

· Bereavement Blues

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7


Articles
· Fire Lover, a True Story, book review

· Missoula, book review

· Another Shakespeare Doubter, book review

· Flights of Passage, book review

· The Lusitania, book review

· The Wilderness of Ruin, book review

· A Beautiful Mind, book review

· Another Planet, book review

· The Three Stooges, book review

· The God Particle


Poetry
· Fashion

· Widow's Peak

· Myth

· Alumni Game

· Stradivarius

· Snow-a-holic

· Girls Who Wear Glasses

· The Do Drop Inn

· Ode to Neve Campbell

· Jacks or Better 101

         More poetry...

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Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer

Warm-up activity - Freewriting
8/10/2009 9:02:31 AM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

Freewriting is pretty much stream of consciousness writing. Think James Joyce and his ones-sentence novel, ULYSSES. Freewriting is a timed session, usually around five minutes. Don't stop writing for anything. Don't worry about grammar, punctuation, or spelling. If you get stuck, just write, "I can't think of anything." You'll soon get tired of that and be on your way again. Don't worry about changing topics in midstream. Just keep on writing.


In rural areas there is often more than one bus. When the kids at St. Joseph Elementary School were on the first bus they got to school early enough to attend daily mass. The first and second graders sat in the front pews. On one particular day I happened to be the only kid in the first pew. In those days the mass was in Latin and I had no idea what that priest was saying up there. I couldn’t read very well so the missal didn’t do me any good. There was absolutely nothing for me to do. I lost it. Unconsciously I started sliding up and down the arm rest at the top of the kneeler. Little did I know that Sister Norman my second grade teacher was sitting behind me, fuming. Who knows why she didn’t grab me, run me down the aisle, drag me outside and beat me to death before the end of the mass. Perhaps because the priest was a nice guy, and he may have stood up for me. Anyway, when mass was over, she gave me a tongue lashing to end all tongue lashings, smacking upside the head every few seconds. I tried to tell her I had no recollection of what I had done but she wouldn’t listen, being married to Christ and everything, a sure ticket to Heaven. She wasn’t about to let a heathen second grader get away with defiling the sacrament. I think I could have taken her if I hadn’t been afraid of being condemned to Hell. After all I was a farm kid with muscles from tossing around heavy hay bails while she spent her time building up scabs on her knees.

Nuns were notorious monsters in those days. They seem to revel in flunking people. My brother barely made it out of fourth grade. There was one nun we all dreaded especially. She had to be at least eighty and we all prayed she’d die before we got to the seventh grade. Her name was Sister Liliosa and she was from Nordeast Minneapolis with a passel of brothers and sisters who were also nuns and priests. For English class we would do something called 1600 Drill. Each kid had to answer a question, and if you missed you’d get a shot to the head that would make Muhammad Ali dizzy. We would all count ahead to where our questions would be and pray that it was an easy one. But there was always the chance that the kid ahead of you would miss his or hers and then you’d be in real Dutch. The old crone had the class divided into Smart, Average, and Dumb rows. God knows why, but I was one of the smart kids by the window. One day she asked me to open the window and I couldn’t get the sucker open because it was frozen shut. She came over, flexed a muscle and opened it with one hand. There went my rep with the girls I was just beginning to notice.

I joined the navy after high school, just about the time of the Ecumenical Council, where the church threw out the Latin Mass, did away with the communion rail and had the priest face the parishioners while saying the mass. That was enough of an excuse for me to stop going to church.
After the Navy I went to college where I was exposed to all kinds of heathen literature. I found out that Dionysus, the Greek God of the vine, was born of a virgin, died and rose from the dead. He was part god and part human. I also read that Mithra the son of God, Ahura Mazda, would judge the living and the dead at the end of the World. Could it be that Jesus was a composite of Mithra and Dionysus? I knew that December 25th was a pagan holiday. If that was true, why not fiddle around with the nature of Jesus?

I feel sorry for poor old Sister Norman, wherever she may be. In those days the ugly girls joined the convent. They’d never get a husband. All she had left was a chance to donate her life to Jesus, and now, chances are, it was all a charade.

Dave Schwinghammer's published novel, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available on Amazon.com at a discount.


Comments (1)

More Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer
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• Koch Brothers Interfere in Local Election - Thursday, May 08, 2014
• The Wolly Mammoth - Wednesday, April 23, 2014
• Fran Tarkenton's political ad - Friday, March 14, 2014
• Propaganda vs. Legitimate Commentary - Sunday, February 23, 2014
• Porn as a Political Issue - Tuesday, February 18, 2014
• Drive a Stake Through the Vampires' Hearts! - Thursday, February 06, 2014
• State of the Union Stem-winder - Wednesday, January 29, 2014
• Ted Cruz - Tuesday, November 19, 2013
• Here We Go Again. - Thursday, September 19, 2013
• Reality TV - Friday, August 09, 2013
• Common Sense - Tuesday, July 30, 2013
• Skunks Believe Everybody Else Stinks - Thursday, May 16, 2013
• The Morning After Pill - Friday, April 12, 2013
• What Would Thomas Jefferson Say? - Saturday, April 06, 2013
• Boneheads - Tuesday, March 12, 2013
• Why Benedict XVI Resigned - Sunday, February 17, 2013
• Gabby Giffords Testifies - Wednesday, January 30, 2013
• Newspaper Caters to Gun Owners - Wednesday, January 23, 2013
• Piers Morgan Deserves a Medal - Monday, December 24, 2012
• The Red Devil and the Blue Devil? - Tuesday, October 30, 2012
• Is the new TV show, REVOLUTION, fantasy? - Wednesday, September 26, 2012
• Fanatical Moslems Aren't That Different From Our Fanatics - Wednesday, September 12, 2012
• We Need the United Nations - Wednesday, July 18, 2012
• Stop Catering to People's Basest Instincts - Monday, July 09, 2012
• Concerned Women for America political ad - Saturday, June 23, 2012
• Independent Voters Need to Pick a Side - Monday, June 11, 2012
• Romney's Solyndra Appearance - Friday, June 01, 2012
• Single Issue Voters - Sunday, May 20, 2012
• Bully or Sociopath? - Saturday, May 12, 2012
• Tan-orexic Woman Poor Role Model - Friday, May 04, 2012
• So Far Right They're Almost Left - Sunday, April 22, 2012
• Dog Eat Dog - Sunday, April 15, 2012
• The Tea Party is Back! - Sunday, March 25, 2012
• Gas Prices - Tuesday, March 13, 2012
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• Bon Iver Front Man Makes Important Statement - Thursday, February 16, 2012
• Contraception Blowback - Friday, February 10, 2012
• 800 vetoes! - Saturday, February 04, 2012
• Issa Hounding Holder over GOP program - Thursday, February 02, 2012
• Rick Santelli's Rant - Wednesday, January 18, 2012
• Corporate Raider President? - Thursday, December 01, 2011
• Is This the Best They Can Do? - Thursday, November 17, 2011
• Tea Party a non-violent Movement? - Sunday, October 30, 2011
• Wall Street Protests - Wednesday, October 05, 2011
• Three new stooges - Thursday, August 25, 2011
• Hypocrite enters the race - Friday, August 19, 2011
• Business Leaders Need to Speak Out - Saturday, July 30, 2011
• Rupert Murdoch and GOP Credibility - Monday, July 25, 2011
• Playing on the railroad tracks - Sunday, July 17, 2011
• Scapegoating - Sunday, June 19, 2011
• The Biggest Swindle in US history - Friday, June 03, 2011
• We're Still Here! - Saturday, May 21, 2011
• Improve education by improving teacher morale - Wednesday, May 04, 2011
• Tea Partiers Don't Know What They're Talking About - Thursday, April 28, 2011
• General Electric paid no corporate taxes - Tuesday, April 05, 2011
• The Flat Earth Society is at it again! - Thursday, March 17, 2011
• Crap fest - Thursday, March 03, 2011
• Egyptian Revolution - Tuesday, February 08, 2011
• Tucson - Wednesday, January 12, 2011
• Would you want a right-winger for a neighbor? - Friday, January 07, 2011
• Noah's Ark Museum - Monday, December 06, 2010
• Frick and Frack Shoot Off Their Mouths - Friday, November 05, 2010
• Enthusiam Gap - Wednesday, October 27, 2010
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• US Chamber of Commerce, conservative front group. - Wednesday, October 13, 2010
• 13 Reasons to vote the straight democratic ticket - Wednesday, September 01, 2010
• Breitbart Makes Segretti look like a choirboy - Wednesday, July 28, 2010
• House on Fire? - Thursday, June 17, 2010
• The Blame Game - Friday, May 28, 2010
• National Prayer Day - Tuesday, May 18, 2010
• Conservative psyche (continued) - Friday, May 14, 2010
• Conservative psyche - Wednesday, May 12, 2010
• Are you smarter than a half-term governor? - Wednesday, April 14, 2010
• Rewriting History - Monday, April 05, 2010
• Fred Phelps - Friday, April 02, 2010
• Combing the Daily Newspaper - Wednesday, March 17, 2010
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• Interview with SOLDIER'S GAP author continued - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
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• SOLDIER'S GAP author answers questions. - Thursday, October 22, 2009
• Everything you always wanted to know about writing a novel - Tuesday, October 20, 2009
• Manuscript conventions - Thursday, September 10, 2009
• Revision - Monday, September 07, 2009
• Dialogue - Thursday, September 03, 2009
• Scene cards - Tuesday, September 01, 2009
• Point of view - Thursday, August 27, 2009
• Plot - Tuesday, August 25, 2009
• Arnie's dream - Friday, August 21, 2009
• Rituals - Thursday, August 20, 2009
• Dressing Arnie Vogel - Tuesday, August 18, 2009
• Character sketch continued - Friday, August 14, 2009
• Character sketch - Thursday, August 13, 2009
• Characterization - Wednesday, August 12, 2009
• Scene outline - Tuesday, August 11, 2009
•  Warm-up activity - Freewriting - Monday, August 10, 2009  
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Are we compromising our pet's organ functions through the water we are giving them? This book describes the basic supplement needed by our animals to keep them healthy...  
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