AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Randy Richardson, iS Zachary, iPeter Ralph, iJeanne Miller, iSheri Hoff, iMike Monahan, iKalikiano Kalei, i

  Home > Blogs Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Phyllis Jean Green

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 516 titles
· 6,693 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Jun, 2002

   Sitemap
   My Blog
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Newsletter
Subscribe to the Phyllis Jean Green Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:


Books
· Carrboro Poetica

· Above and Below

· Spinning Straw: the Jeff Apple Story


Short Stories
· Scrawny Kid Clerked at Thrifty

· Euceless Laughs, Y O U Laugh {Capice?}

· This is Your Lucky Day by Euceless Liesalot

· Christmas Fax for da Broads in da Audience

· Flashing

· Owner Will Repair Kitchen Floor {flash humor}

· Courting Able


Articles
· Amnesty International Pressing for More Anti-Rape Legislation

· Bullying has no Place in a Democracy

· Calling Dr. Mengele, Calling Dr. Mengele

· Show and Tell by Karen Vanderlaan - Review

· Valley of the Shadow by Sybil Austin Skakle - Review

· Courage in Patience by Beth Fehlbaum -- a Review

· Heart Attack Symptoms Differ for Men and Women -- Read and Share!

· If you Have Been Kidnapped or Abducted --A Letter from Someone who Cares

· RICO for Kids - Help Missing Children, U.S.A.

· Reason to Celebrate! {re O N E's impact re suffering in Africa}


Poetry
· Listen to Your Muse, Then get up an' do Your Thing

· Poem an Inside Job

· Vicks, Flannel, and Great Expectations?

· Rumor January 19, two Thousand Thirteen

· Snow Night with Bird

· Gunned Down

· Shape Shifter

· Fought Tooth and Nail, I Know You {for Ellie}

· Night-Light

· We are Here to Tell You

         More poetry...
News
· Featured in Creative Thinkers International!

· Second Appearance in Leann Marshall's Sketch Notes

· New Appearance in The Yarn Spinner

· Bullying has no Place in a Democracy Featured at Creative Thinkers Intnl

· Poem to Appear in Sketchbook

· Poems to Appear in Sensations' 21st Century Issue

· In Richard Lee King's The Price of Freedom

Phyllis Jean Green, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Books by
Phyllis Jean Green



Carrboro Poetica

Buy Options
Signed copy!
more..




Above and Below

Buy Options
Signed copy!
more..




Spinning Straw: the Jeff Apple Story

Buy Options
Signed copy!
more..










Blogs by Phyllis Jean Green

Calling Dr. Mengele, Calling Dr. Mendele
10/17/2009 7:10:19 PM    [ Flag as Spam or Inappropriate ]

N e v e r . s a y . A h .


The dentist I'm recently switched to is the furthest thing from that sadist Nazi, Josef Mengele. I have been to a lot of dentists, and he is probably the gentlest. I like him, and I trust him. Now that that is out of the way, let me tell you about my last appointment.

There was HAMMERING. There was SCRAPING. There was DRILLING.

That was just the first ten minutes. Removing the bridge I had had decades to become attached to, TOOK FOUR HOURS. SHRAPNEL WAS FLYING. CRUNCHING AND EAR-PIERCING WHISTLING WERE DEAFENING.

Am I ever glad that is over. Quick, help me out of this bend-a-bucket so I can contact my heroin connection. What? Are you telling me there's more? [Expletives deleted.] Had I been able to think, I would have remembered that the main reason the bridge had to be replaced was that decay snuck under. To get rid of it, a new and more serious round of drilling -- LOW SPEED DRILLING, JACKHAMMER DRILLING -- was required. Given I survived, STRINGS AND CLAMPS AND GLUE were to be applied in preparation for SHOVING a temporary onto -- correction, INto -- an already sore upper gum. POUNDING, PINCHING, FLOODING, AND SUCKING with that metal doohinky that replaced the pleasure of spitting into a drain as long as humanly possible, were ahead. And ahead. And ahead.

If you're getting the idea that I don't relish having someone TRY TO TAKE MY HEAD OFF from the inside, you are reading right.

If, like me, you figure the worst is over, think again.

Hmmmmm. Better see a periodontist about this short root. He may be able to raise the crown by CUTTING THE GUM around it. May even need an implant. Two or three aren't out of the realm. Hmmmmm.

Periodontist to be followed by endodontist to be followed and-or accompanied by new hemorrhages of money. General dentist more than willing to work out a payment plan. Specialists, nuh-uh.

Bridge alone will cost more than $9,000.

If the endodontist decides to repair a poorly-done root canal, there's another $900. Minimum.. May be other root canals involved.

Is there a cheap nuthouse in your area? Do you have to pay extra for the strait jacket and van pick-up? Will you consider visiting after they get me sedated?

Bring me speed?

I HATE PAIN.

I HATE SEEING HARD-WON SAVINGS CIRCLE A DRAIN.

CIRCLE, HELL.

Goodbye, money market. Goodbye, CD.

Bet you hate whining. Pretend that this is intended as humor, all right?

Let's see. Next time, I think I will talk about aches and pains.

Axe murderers or hemorrhoids, you choose.

Going to go shampoo my hair.. Meeting my connection at 5:00, and I want to look good. If I can get a drug pushing gig, might be enough money left for a video and dinner out.

Have to wait on the dinner. Temporary means a soft diet.

Oh, well. What's a little torture? Soon have an 18 karat smile.

Don't forget to floss.

Toofless




(c) Phyllis Jean Green
October, 2009



Comments (5)

More Blogs by Phyllis Jean Green
• Amnesty International Pressing for More Anti-Rape Legislation - Wednesday, October 19, 2011
• Amnesty International Pressing for More Anti-Rape Legislation - Wednesday, October 19, 2011
•  Calling Dr. Mengele, Calling Dr. Mendele - Saturday, October 17, 2009  
• Euceless Laughs, You Laugh {capice?} - Tuesday, June 12, 2007
• Cuss, as in Snort - Saturday, September 24, 2005
• Facts, Facts, Facts, Mr. Micawber - Tuesday, January 04, 2005


Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.