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Blogs by Linda Law
Torn between tears and fears....
10/2/2009 1:54:10 PM
My new job is now beginning it's 4th month, so I suppose I am no longer "new" and the job is no longer "new" either!
It's been a mixture of good and negative, as is our daily life; yet each day I venture out and pray that somehow my sitting behind that desk will make a positive difference in the life of another. Does that sound unrealistic? When I hear myself say it; naturally I hear it as many will, yet my heart means it!
One of the things I've learned is that each year the company I work for implements an increase in the Mobile Home Space Rentals for the residents who live here. Everyone owns their own home, and it is a lovely Senior Mobile Community, not what one would think of as "Trailer Park" living. The majority who live here sold their primary homes, and have sized down since there are no children etc, to share in their lives as before. Others can afford more than one home, therefore; Canadians and people from the North travel to Sunny and Hot/Warm Arizona to spend their winter months in nice comfy weather. It works for many Seniors, and it is generally quite affordable. There is a large Clubhouse with a full kitchen and hall; individual rooms for Billiards, HEalth & Fitness, Cards, Library, Sitting Room, Heated Pool & Spa. Many social activities and events take place all through the week, including Bingo, Dance classes, Computers, Crafts, and so on.
This week I had to do a huge mailing for each resident that included the 2010 increase of $16 per month! We as employees (I am the manager) knew that the increase would be difficult for some, annoying to others, and just a bone of contention to others; yet we had little to say about the increase going forward. We are simply working people who follow instructions the best way possible. I smile and try to keep a positive attitude in all that I do....even when it's not so easy. My mantra is that it takes the same effort to smile as to be mean or hateful...so I choose to be nice and smile, altho firm, without taking abuse...and some days that is quite difficult.
This past week I worked several nites until past 7 pm (I get off at 3pm) do not get paid for the extra time, and don't mind...I prefer to do my best at all I do...and I love my community and the company I work for. The mailing went out, and by Saturday my home phone began to ring...angry voices on the other end... Then on Sunday, the angry phone calls continued; but I did my best not to get angry and talk negatively, inspite of it taking away from my days off and time to rest etc. Monday the door never stopped opening and closing, with one resident after another complaining, accusing me of not caring, etc about the increase. No matter how nice I spoke, or how much I tried to explain the increase, people were like those "Town Hall Meetings" we saw on TV this past month... I never had to throw anyone out, and the day finally ended with me totally exhausted and ready to cry, but I didn't.
Tuesday was the same, and Wednesday was harder than ever; on top of the regular duties that I had to handle in addition to the "personal" visits from residents who were dropping off their new renewals and voicing their complaints! Occasionally there would be that smile in return, wishing me a nice day, and/or saying they understood that I just work here and don't make the rules.. Those were the sweet people who lifted me when I didn't think it was possible...:-) What a blessing those sweet people are!!
The tears didn't come; but they were brimming....the fears were also on the edge....fears for the many seniors who are kind in spite of the fact that they will not receive social security raises for the next couple years, for the fact that their medicare will also increase, and in spite of the fact that they barely make ends meet as it is.
One man who is 93, his wife 85 live on $1015 a month, including medical co-pays, space rental, utilities which are very high, and basic food.... He smiles every time he sees me and says he keeps me in HIS prayers! Another lady who is 82 told me that she budgets out of her soc/sec $15 per week for her groceries!!!!! and she is worried that she may have to cut that back....(her soc is less than $800)... more than half goes to space rental. She's lived here many years, and her husband passed away 2 yrs ago, but she manages...she tells me as she smiles... :-)) Another lady came in today with Parkinson's, shaking so badly, barely able to write her check, and she said..."this is my first time in 58 years to have to pay the bills..my husband died this past week...and I'm not doing so well today." I wanted to cry...but instead I took her hand, and offered to help her over the weekend...to drive her to the store, or help with whatever I could.... she smiled, and said..."I have to learn to do things myself"... These are the stories I hear almost daily... and these are the people who make up for those who are angry, who fuss and criticize me and others for everything that is wrong in the world... These are the people whom God has filled with a magical peace in spite of their hardships.... a peace to pass along their sweet spirit to others who are generally not as deserving as they are!
My job doesn't pay much...and I'm tired many days; even though the job isn't so hard; it is different, and I don't have the luxury of having staff or assistants like I did in a prior life to do those things that I took for granted. I have had to learn to crawl, to pick myself up again, and to dust off the scraped knees...rub a little salve on my scrapes and get up...not stay down...place a smile back on my face, and be thankful that God has sent me here... I didn't have to work, didn't have to take the job...although the money helps...but I had prayed about it before I accepted.. I knew then, and I know now...I am not here for the money...or the career that I don't intend to have; but I am here to fill a need...I am here because there were others who could have done the job just as well, perhaps better...but God knew that I have the heart, the compassion, and the goodness within me to help some of these people for a season.
I share this personal part of my life with you, knowing that many of you have had to do the same....work when you didn't want to...work when you had to....work, just because it is a part of you; but I also know that many do not have jobs...have lost their job...are struggling to find another...and if you are a Senior...your chances of finding one are zilch...but I don't want you to feel that you are not worthy... you are deserving; times are simply hard these days...and we must continue to take what is handed us...and never give up.. smile when we want to cry...even if our smile can't shield the tears when they do fall...
Remember that kindness is so simple... it cost nothing! It can be so rewarding however....to the person you give the smile or kindness to! Pass it along.... maybe you'll be surprised at how many sweet smiles you will find coming your way... I pray that you see more and more of them...but begin on your own sweet face!
Hugs, lindalaw
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