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Regis Auffray

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Member Since: Sep, 2002

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Blogs by Regis Auffray

For The Pun Of It
4/18/2008 5:55:15 PM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

I know this is bad. Sorry... ...I guess.

For The Pun Of It

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.  The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar.  The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

 Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

 A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, 'A beer for me please and one for the road.'

Two cannibals are eating a clown.  One says to the other; 'Does this taste funny to you?'

'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.  Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.'
'I don't believe you,' says Dolly.  'It's true; no bull!' exclaims
Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman.  The kids were nothing to look at either.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find them.

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.  He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!'

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.  'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.  'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.  One of them goes to a family in
Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband resplied:
'They're twins!  If you've seen Juan you've seen  Ahmal.

There was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.



Comments (22)

More Blogs by Regis Auffray
• Changes Are Coming - Monday, December 13, 2010
• More on Paraprosdokians... - Thursday, October 28, 2010
• Paraprosdokians - Sunday, October 17, 2010
• Why Can't I Own A Canadian? - Friday, August 13, 2010
• Puns for the Educated... ...?!? - Thursday, February 11, 2010
• Aspiring Writers - Sunday, January 17, 2010
• For All Who Have Wept, Weep, and Will Weep - Thursday, December 17, 2009
• A little more in the realm of humor/humour... ...as kids see it. - Sunday, November 22, 2009
• A Little Biblical Humor - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
• Sharing a smile or two... - Tuesday, September 08, 2009
• Grandma's Smokes - Thursday, August 27, 2009
• The Sandpiper - Saturday, April 25, 2009
• Newfoundland Ghost Story - Saturday, April 04, 2009
• Please help... ...it only takes a couple of minutes. - Saturday, February 21, 2009
•  Propos the Economic Crisis... - Saturday, February 07, 2009
• When Insults Had Class - Saturday, January 31, 2009
• Puns - Saturday, January 17, 2009
• My daughter's article - Friday, November 28, 2008
• The Apocalypse Quiz - Sunday, November 23, 2008
• A Lesson on the Limerick - Sunday, November 02, 2008
• Love - Wednesday, September 24, 2008
• Synesthesia - Sunday, September 07, 2008
• The Human Body - Sunday, August 03, 2008
• A short note about "only..." - Sunday, July 27, 2008
• The English Language - Thursday, July 10, 2008
• Age - Wednesday, July 02, 2008
• A New Element Found! - Tuesday, June 17, 2008
• A Sobering Look At The Results Of Rising Oil Prices - Tuesday, June 03, 2008
• Why Computers Sometimes Crash - Monday, May 12, 2008
•  For The Pun Of It - Friday, April 18, 2008  
• Rachel Corrie - Friday, March 14, 2008
• LOVE - Sunday, February 17, 2008
• Oh Where, Oh Where Has My AD Mail Gone? - Saturday, February 16, 2008
• The Old Man and the Dog - Monday, January 28, 2008
• Attitude - Saturday, January 19, 2008
• The Hospital Window - Saturday, January 12, 2008
• Wisdom? - Wednesday, January 09, 2008
• Guess what? Happy New Year (J t'a J...) - Saturday, December 29, 2007
• Je t'aime, J......, - Sunday, December 09, 2007
• Why...? - Saturday, November 24, 2007
• More on blood... - Sunday, September 23, 2007
• Blood Types and Personality - Wednesday, September 19, 2007
• Love... - Sunday, August 19, 2007
• Help save the EARTH! - Monday, July 09, 2007
• Happy Fourth of July... - Wednesday, July 04, 2007
• I'm still here... - Wednesday, June 27, 2007
• Why... - Wednesday, June 20, 2007
• I did not know... - Saturday, June 16, 2007
• Often since meeting you... - Thursday, May 10, 2007
• Encounters... - Saturday, March 31, 2007
• Blog Tag... - Sunday, February 25, 2007
• Sadness - Friday, February 09, 2007
• The limerick... - Saturday, January 06, 2007
• When? - Saturday, December 30, 2006


A Christmas Awakening by Bettye Johnson

When a mysterious woman named Virginia meets a disenchanted woman who hates the Christmas season, magic happens. The reader will be rekindled with a new understanding of Christmas ..  
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