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Regis Auffray

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Age
7/2/2008 8:57:42 AM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

Perspective on "age" from George Carlin...
 
Please excuse the formatting.  I find AD's editing program impossible to manage... ...so time consuming!!!

 

 

George Carlin on age.
 
George Carlin's Views on our various stages of life.

Do you realize the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key 

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony .YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! 

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? 

You BECOME 21, you TURN30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. 


But wait!!! 
You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! 

So you BECOME 21, TURN30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. 

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! 

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.' 

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' 
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
 

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
 
1. 
Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.' 

2. 
Keep only cheerful friends. 
The grouches pull you down. 

3. 
Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil'sname is Alzheimer's. 


4. 
Enjoy the simple things. 

5.
 Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 

6. 
The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 

7. 
Surround yourself with what you love
, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. 
Cherish your health: 
If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 

9. 
Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is. 

10.
Tell the people you love that you love them
, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
 
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


 

 



Comments (11)

More Blogs by Regis Auffray
• Changes Are Coming - Monday, December 13, 2010
• More on Paraprosdokians... - Thursday, October 28, 2010
• Paraprosdokians - Sunday, October 17, 2010
• Why Can't I Own A Canadian? - Friday, August 13, 2010
• Puns for the Educated... ...?!? - Thursday, February 11, 2010
• Aspiring Writers - Sunday, January 17, 2010
• For All Who Have Wept, Weep, and Will Weep - Thursday, December 17, 2009
• A little more in the realm of humor/humour... ...as kids see it. - Sunday, November 22, 2009
• A Little Biblical Humor - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
• Sharing a smile or two... - Tuesday, September 08, 2009
• Grandma's Smokes - Thursday, August 27, 2009
• The Sandpiper - Saturday, April 25, 2009
• Newfoundland Ghost Story - Saturday, April 04, 2009
• Please help... ...it only takes a couple of minutes. - Saturday, February 21, 2009
•  Propos the Economic Crisis... - Saturday, February 07, 2009
• When Insults Had Class - Saturday, January 31, 2009
• Puns - Saturday, January 17, 2009
• My daughter's article - Friday, November 28, 2008
• The Apocalypse Quiz - Sunday, November 23, 2008
• A Lesson on the Limerick - Sunday, November 02, 2008
• Love - Wednesday, September 24, 2008
• Synesthesia - Sunday, September 07, 2008
• The Human Body - Sunday, August 03, 2008
• A short note about "only..." - Sunday, July 27, 2008
• The English Language - Thursday, July 10, 2008
•  Age - Wednesday, July 02, 2008  
• A New Element Found! - Tuesday, June 17, 2008
• A Sobering Look At The Results Of Rising Oil Prices - Tuesday, June 03, 2008
• Why Computers Sometimes Crash - Monday, May 12, 2008
• For The Pun Of It - Friday, April 18, 2008
• Rachel Corrie - Friday, March 14, 2008
• LOVE - Sunday, February 17, 2008
• Oh Where, Oh Where Has My AD Mail Gone? - Saturday, February 16, 2008
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• Guess what? Happy New Year (J t'a J...) - Saturday, December 29, 2007
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• Blood Types and Personality - Wednesday, September 19, 2007
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• Help save the EARTH! - Monday, July 09, 2007
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