Blogs by Regis Auffray
10/17/2010 10:07:06 PM
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Someone sent me this.
I am hitting the woods just great - but having a terrible time getting out of them!
I looked up the word: Paraprosdokian
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.
Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.
A paraprosdokian is a phrase with an unexpected ending.
Some of these are clever..............
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
More Blogs by Regis Auffray
Changes Are Coming - Monday, December 13, 2010
More on Paraprosdokians... - Thursday, October 28, 2010
Paraprosdokians - Sunday, October 17, 2010
Why Can't I Own A Canadian? - Friday, August 13, 2010
Puns for the Educated... ...?!? - Thursday, February 11, 2010
Aspiring Writers - Sunday, January 17, 2010
For All Who Have Wept, Weep, and Will Weep - Thursday, December 17, 2009
A little more in the realm of humor/humour... ...as kids see it. - Sunday, November 22, 2009
A Little Biblical Humor - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Sharing a smile or two... - Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Grandma's Smokes - Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Sandpiper - Saturday, April 25, 2009
Newfoundland Ghost Story - Saturday, April 04, 2009
Please help... ...it only takes a couple of minutes. - Saturday, February 21, 2009
À Propos the Economic Crisis... - Saturday, February 07, 2009
When Insults Had Class - Saturday, January 31, 2009
Puns - Saturday, January 17, 2009
My daughter's article - Friday, November 28, 2008
The Apocalypse Quiz - Sunday, November 23, 2008
A Lesson on the Limerick - Sunday, November 02, 2008
Love - Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Synesthesia - Sunday, September 07, 2008
The Human Body - Sunday, August 03, 2008
A short note about "only..." - Sunday, July 27, 2008
The English Language - Thursday, July 10, 2008
Age - Wednesday, July 02, 2008
A New Element Found! - Tuesday, June 17, 2008
A Sobering Look At The Results Of Rising Oil Prices - Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Why Computers Sometimes Crash - Monday, May 12, 2008
For The Pun Of It - Friday, April 18, 2008
Rachel Corrie - Friday, March 14, 2008
LOVE - Sunday, February 17, 2008
Oh Where, Oh Where Has My AD Mail Gone? - Saturday, February 16, 2008
The Old Man and the Dog - Monday, January 28, 2008
Attitude - Saturday, January 19, 2008
The Hospital Window - Saturday, January 12, 2008
Wisdom? - Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Guess what? Happy New Year (J t'a J...) - Saturday, December 29, 2007
Je t'aime, J......, - Sunday, December 09, 2007
Why...? - Saturday, November 24, 2007
More on blood... - Sunday, September 23, 2007
Blood Types and Personality - Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Love... - Sunday, August 19, 2007
Help save the EARTH! - Monday, July 09, 2007
Happy Fourth of July... - Wednesday, July 04, 2007
I'm still here... - Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Why... - Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I did not know... - Saturday, June 16, 2007
Often since meeting you... - Thursday, May 10, 2007
Encounters... - Saturday, March 31, 2007
Blog Tag... - Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sadness - Friday, February 09, 2007
The limerick... - Saturday, January 06, 2007
When? - Saturday, December 30, 2006