Blogs by Edeltraud F. Fellendorf
WWII AUTHOR DISCUSSES FIRST MEMORY
1/18/2010 2:49:38 PM
Do you remember your very first memory, the one that marks your beginning?
Mine was of my childhood dog. I was three and he was a puppy. Dad was trying to get a picture of me holding him when he tinkled all over the front of my dress. It's a wonderful memory I'll always treasure of a friend I had for 18-years.
Mom's first memory is quite different. Mom not only dealt with war, she also had to contend with an abusive Mother. Here she captures her first memory in detail (excerpt taken from her memoirs):
"Memories mature through time, taking on a life of their own as they clear a path through the brain looking for a place to hide. It is interesting that most first real memories remain elusive until a child is three-years of age or older. These earliest thoughts are significant because, like tattoos, they remain throughout life. They are a child’s first impression of the world and should be filled with pleasant thoughts. Not all children are fortunate enough to experience them with warm welcoming.
The first brush strokes on the canvas of my life were harsh and ugly, marred by the thoughtless malice of an ignorant painter. I was three or four-years-old, and my Mother was playing a game by rules only she understood. I must have done something bad, my exact crime escapes me, but my Mother is intent on punishing me. We are in our house. The only sound is my crying as I watch my Mother run away from me.
Quicker than my little legs can follow, my Mother runs up the stairs leading to our attic. I am alone and afraid. I try to follow but my steps are too small to be quick. I scramble up the stairs trying to catch her, but by the time I make it to the top stair, she is gone. I cannot find her. In my little mind I am responsible for her disappearance; she has run away because I am a very bad girl. I cried endlessly, pleading for her to come back. I promised to be a good girl, but she remained hidden long after my cries had turned into uncontrollable shudders of despair.
This was my first memory."
How many of you are lucky enough to have a good first memory?
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