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Regis Auffray

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Blogs by Regis Auffray

Paraprosdokians
10/17/2010 10:07:06 PM
Someone sent me this. I am hitting the woods just great - but having a terrible time getting out of them!

I looked up the word:  Paraprosdokian

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:


A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.
Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.


A paraprosdokian is a phrase with an unexpected ending.

Some of these are clever..............

   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 
   I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.  
   Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.  
   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.  
   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 
   If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
   The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
   Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 
   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.  
   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.      How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?  
   Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.  
   Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.  
   A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.  
   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".  
   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.   
   Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?      
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? 
   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.  
   A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.  
   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
   The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!  
   Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. 
   A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
   Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. 
   Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.  
   I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.  
   Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.     
   I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.  
   I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.  
   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.  
   You're never too old to learn something stupid.
   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.  
   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
   Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.  
   A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.  
   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.



Comments (10)

More Blogs by Regis Auffray
• Changes Are Coming - Monday, December 13, 2010
• More on Paraprosdokians... - Thursday, October 28, 2010
•  Paraprosdokians - Sunday, October 17, 2010  
• Why Can't I Own A Canadian? - Friday, August 13, 2010
• Puns for the Educated... ...?!? - Thursday, February 11, 2010
• Aspiring Writers - Sunday, January 17, 2010
• For All Who Have Wept, Weep, and Will Weep - Thursday, December 17, 2009
• A little more in the realm of humor/humour... ...as kids see it. - Sunday, November 22, 2009
• A Little Biblical Humor - Tuesday, November 03, 2009
• Sharing a smile or two... - Tuesday, September 08, 2009
• Grandma's Smokes - Thursday, August 27, 2009
• The Sandpiper - Saturday, April 25, 2009
• Newfoundland Ghost Story - Saturday, April 04, 2009
• Please help... ...it only takes a couple of minutes. - Saturday, February 21, 2009
•  Propos the Economic Crisis... - Saturday, February 07, 2009
• When Insults Had Class - Saturday, January 31, 2009
• Puns - Saturday, January 17, 2009
• My daughter's article - Friday, November 28, 2008
• The Apocalypse Quiz - Sunday, November 23, 2008
• A Lesson on the Limerick - Sunday, November 02, 2008
• Love - Wednesday, September 24, 2008
• Synesthesia - Sunday, September 07, 2008
• The Human Body - Sunday, August 03, 2008
• A short note about "only..." - Sunday, July 27, 2008
• The English Language - Thursday, July 10, 2008
• Age - Wednesday, July 02, 2008
• A New Element Found! - Tuesday, June 17, 2008
• A Sobering Look At The Results Of Rising Oil Prices - Tuesday, June 03, 2008
• Why Computers Sometimes Crash - Monday, May 12, 2008
• For The Pun Of It - Friday, April 18, 2008
• Rachel Corrie - Friday, March 14, 2008
• LOVE - Sunday, February 17, 2008
• Oh Where, Oh Where Has My AD Mail Gone? - Saturday, February 16, 2008
• The Old Man and the Dog - Monday, January 28, 2008
• Attitude - Saturday, January 19, 2008
• The Hospital Window - Saturday, January 12, 2008
• Wisdom? - Wednesday, January 09, 2008
• Guess what? Happy New Year (J t'a J...) - Saturday, December 29, 2007
• Je t'aime, J......, - Sunday, December 09, 2007
• Why...? - Saturday, November 24, 2007
• More on blood... - Sunday, September 23, 2007
• Blood Types and Personality - Wednesday, September 19, 2007
• Love... - Sunday, August 19, 2007
• Help save the EARTH! - Monday, July 09, 2007
• Happy Fourth of July... - Wednesday, July 04, 2007
• I'm still here... - Wednesday, June 27, 2007
• Why... - Wednesday, June 20, 2007
• I did not know... - Saturday, June 16, 2007
• Often since meeting you... - Thursday, May 10, 2007
• Encounters... - Saturday, March 31, 2007
• Blog Tag... - Sunday, February 25, 2007
• Sadness - Friday, February 09, 2007
• The limerick... - Saturday, January 06, 2007
• When? - Saturday, December 30, 2006


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