Peggy: There is a myth that all children who have been sexually abused are ďdamaged goodsĒ and that the damage is for life.
In fact,experts say that with guidance and support a child who has experienced sexual abuse can certainly recover and go on to live a happy and successful life with loving relationships.
Blondie L. Clayton is an example that sexual abuse does not have to hold you captive for the rest of your life, that there is joy and fulfillment after sexual abuse.
Clayton is aRealization Strategistô and author of four books, a freelance writer, publishing coach, host of the Authorís Spotlight at www.positivechangeradio.com and www.webtv45.com.
Life changed for Blondie L. Clayton when she wrote her life story and published her first book There In The Midst the Mysterious Exposed (formerly The Touch of the Masterís Hand A Journey Into Stolen Innocence).
Welcome. . . Blondie Clayton
Your life has changed. What was life like for Blondie Clayton before this change?
Blondie: Dark, lonely, fearful, angry, hateful, unforgiving.The secret of my past haunted me. My caregivers didnít want to talk about what happened.I was left to feel insignificant, disregarded.I lived a secret, sexually immoral life that made me ashamed of who I was.
Peggy: How did you get to this point in your life?
Blondie: Before I was 12 years old I was the victim of incest, raped by one of my teachers and molested by my motherís boyfriend. I kept quiet. It was locked up on the inside. I was confused in many ways.
I remember making a decision laying with my grandfather to survive. He started molesting me before my parents separated. After they split, they left my younger siblings and I in that grandfather and grandmotherís care.
I was an emotional time bomb waiting to explode but there was this voice that kept me from yielding to the anger, hatred and revengeful mind that wanted to kill.
Peggy: What started you on the journey to writing?
Blondie: At 14 I realized my thoughts were a problem, I didnít think good things about myself or people.I was attempting to hold too much in my mind which was affecting my mind.I thought I was losing my mind.
But for this voice that I would hear from time to time which seemed to be guiding my life. It knew me and spoke with such authority I couldnít ignore its existence.It was ďthe voiceĒ that guided me into writing my thoughts, feelings and challenges on paper.
I started doing this in my youth.As I look back now, it was like placing it on an altar before God.
Peggy: How has writing aided you in improving the quality of your life?
Blondie: I have struggled with not letting things go.I would clutter my mind with self-defeating talk and destructive talk, fears, etc.
God gave me this tool as a method earlier on in my life to clear my mind.It continues to be a very powerful tool for me to this day.
Peggy: Your writing and your relationships with God, what is the connection?
Blondie: Having been the victim of incest, abuse, rape,I did not trust adults. I shut up. I would not express myself in any situation, except through writing. I learned to pen my prayer request and my troubles;it gave me a peace,and raised my confidence.
God used this format to talk to me, to show me sometimes the error of my ways and how to move beyond my fears and challenges.
Peggy: What is your life like today?
Blondie: I had been in denial about what had happened. I was confused as to what was sexual abuse. Surely, my grandfather and other relatives couldnít be labeled as such. That was too shameful to think about so I refused.
One day I was watching Oprah Winfrey and she had someone on her show that had experienced the same thing as I. My eyes came open. Right after then, I began to seek this God I had heard so much about and it was that encounter that changed the course of my life forever.
Every thing I ever believed about myself was corrected; the bitterness was no longer a part of my life; my heart had changed; the anger was gone; the hatred was a thing of the past. All in an instant.
Peggy: You mean you were able to forgive those who had purposed to destroy you?
Blondie: Yes, I was. And I became free.
Peggy: Were you religious? Did you believe in God? Were you going to Church?
Blondie: I wish I could say I was religious, or that I went to church, or that my belief in God was intact. I canít. This event convinced me that there is more to my life than what I can see with my physical eye.
God convinced me of who He is and made me a believer. I canít take credit for it.But after such a miraculous encounter I wanted to know more. That started my journey.
Peggy: What would you say to someone who was right where you were?
Blondie: If you have tried everything else and you have gotten no reliefómaybe you are searching in all the wrong places for what is right there in your hands already. Itís not about whether you believe, or have faith because Godís love and what he can do is not based upon us fixing ourselves or deciding when and how we are going to receive that love.
He sent his son to do it even in the state we are. I turned to Him as a last result, didnít think he would hear me, or care but He did. He was waiting on me to stop trying to handle what I didnít create. I ran away from God and from any religious zealots that crossed my path. Denied his existence.
Got involved with other religions until that day, my hour of redemption. I believe a day comes for all of us when we recognize that our lifeís experiences can be used for the salvation of others.
Peggy: Who should write? And Why?
Blondie: If you are stuck in your life, maybe your story needs to be told. I was stuck in every area of my life. No matter what ideas came to me I would implement some, ignore the rest.It seemed like a struggle I couldnít win.I kept asking myself: Why canít I get beyond whatever this is?
After I wrote my story, nothing has been the same. When I faced certain truths before God,He changed my life through those truths.Did I want to tell the story? No!And none of my family members wanted that story to be told but it wasnít about what I wanted, or they wanted,God had His purpose and the story was to be told.
What I didnít know was that God wanted to liberate other family members.I had a choice. I could have been disobedient but I knew in my heart of hearts God had a bigger plan beyond my pain and sorrows.I yielded to his plan and, boy, am I glad I did.I saw miracle after miracle of deliverance and restoration in my personal family.
Just think, some of those people would have died with their secret sins had I not been willing to be the sacrifice, take their persecution and let God do his thing.God may want you to write your story. It may not be to publish it in a book, as I did,It may be for your deliverance, your restoration, your peace and His purpose.
Peggy: If someone wanted to write their story, what would you recommend?
Blondie: Get yourself a note book, or a loose leaf binder and fill it with lined paper.Start writing. If it is your life story, go back to your childhood, write what you remember.
Donít worry if you only remember fragments, that is okay.You can fill that in later. Get it down on paper.If you need more help, you can sign up for my free weekly audio Cafť at www.telecafepublishing.com, where we answer questions on writing, publishing and marketing.
Peggy: How can the viewers get in touch with you?
Blondie: Send an Email to me at blondie48.bellsouth.net.