From this week's colunn:

While Vince Neil (Motley Crue) does his time in jail his girl on the outside is concerned because he’s working the breakfast shift and has only eaten some peanut butter and a baloney sandwich. Given the length of his sentence (less than a month) this doesn’t sound like anything of concern. This sounds like fat camp for middle aged rock singers…

A report this week states that actor Tom Cruise is set to star in a movie version of the Broadway hit musical Rock of Ages. If the prerequisite is having lip synced in your underwear on screen and acting crazy off screen, well then Cruise should nail the role. Other wishful thinking hopefuls include: Oprah singing “Here I Go Again (on my OWN)” by Whitesnake, Charlie Sheen belting out “Nuthin’ But a Good Time” by Poison, Tracy Morgan providing comedy relief and random F bombs singing “I Wanna Rock” by Twisted Sister, Betty White sings “Heaven (isn’t too far away)” by Warrant, and of course Tony Danza singing Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” because no one understands how hard life is on the road (limos, first class, five star dinners, etc…) quite like Tony Danza…

Read the full column at MetalUnderground.com

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